Alan is telling Dysart (the psychiatrist) what is happening. In the stable the two passions of Alan's begin to clash. On one side every teenagers' passion, love and expressing it, but on the other, for Alan is Equus. This whole section of the play is performed in the same area as where Dysart's office is. Alan is telling Dysart what happened that night and Alan’s words are being performed to the audience. Using the same stage area (the boxing ring) as Dysart’s office, reminds the audience that Alan is telling the story to Dysart and the audience are shown what Alan is saying. Alan feels he is betraying Equus by devoting his love and passion towards Jill rather than Equus. Alan is scared, as well as distressed and anxious since he is so close to what he is betraying (the horses below) and this can be seen when he at first asks Jill to close the doors, but then snaps when she doesn't comply with what he asks.
Jill eventually follows Alan's demands by closing the heavy door. Jill mimes this section of closing the door, since potentially such a large and heavy door cannot be placed on the type of stage used for Equus. What the audience sees on stage is what Alan is saying to Dysart. Jill closing the door obviously is not seen upon as a major aspect by Alan when telling Dysart the story, and so is simply mimed. Dysart then asks Alan to describe the barn to him. Alan begins to walk about the stage, describing the place. He looks to Dysart. Alan describes the area as, " Large room. Straw everywhere. Some tools....[As if picking it up off the rail where he left it in Act One.] A hoof pick!...
[He 'drops' it hastily, and dashes away from the spot.]"
Alan picks up the pick, but then drops it in trepidation, and dashes away from the area where the tools lie, in fright. It was as if the thought of what is to come crossed his mind, but then realisation hit him and the idea of thinking such a thing was frightening for Alan.
Dysart urges Alan to continue his story since he is ever closer to seeing, hearing and knowing what really happened that night. Dysart can even begin to predict what Alan is to say next. For example when Alan, describing the barn, mentions a large door and behind it...Dysart interrupts and answers, “horses.” Dysart takes the words right out of Alan's mouth a couple of times later on in this scene which is to let us know that Dysart is beginning to really get involved and follow the story. Dysart asks Alan two more questions that include how many horses there were, and verifies with Alan that Jill closed the door, so you couldn't see the horses. Alan answers confidently and clearly to both. The first being, “six…” (horses) and the other agreeing with Dysart by confirming his verification of why Jill closed the door, by answering "Yes." Dysart then urges Alan to continue the story, and so it continues.
Jill comforts Alan by persuading him it's shut, telling him it's just the two of them now and says they should sit down. They sit together on one of the on stage benches to the left. Jill breaks the nervous silence by saying, " Hallo."
Alan answers hastily, "Hallo." [She kisses him lightly. He responds. Suddenly a faint trampling of hooves, off stage, makes him jump up.]
This is Equus realising and warning Alan that he is watching and is becoming angry and uneasy with what Alan is doing with Jill.
Jill questions Alan asking him, "What is wrong."
[He turns his head upstage, listening.] Alan appears uneasy and nervous with a regretful look upon his face. Jill continues to comfort Alan by telling him to relax and reassuring him there's no one there. She then tells him to come to her.
[She touches his hand. He turns to her again.] She continues to tell Alan how gentle he is and how she loves it. Alan answers, "So are you.... I mean... " Alan is obviously unsure of what he is really saying, as if he has something else on his mind. Jill or Equus?
[He kisses her spontaneously. The hooves trample again, harder. He breaks away from her abruptly towards the upstage corner.] It appears Equus is becoming maddened with what Alan thinks is him, for betraying him (Equus). Alan backs off Jill in a scared and anxious manner as he is scared of what Equus is seeing, thinking and what he is going to do to him. Jill rises from the bench and asks Alan, “What is wrong?"
Alan answers, "Nothing!"
[She moves towards him. He turns and moves past her. He is clearly distressed. She contemplates him for a moment.] Jill then gently tells Alan to take his sweater off. Alan questions Jill's comment and asks, "What?"
Jill answers, “I will, if you will." Jill is desperately trying to persuade Alan to relax and to take his clothes off, but Alan is becoming more and more uneasy and concerned. For Alan it seems Equus is watching him all the time and when ever he expresses his passion towards Jill, it's as if Equus knows and is warning and telling Alan that, when the sounds of horses stamping and trampling can be heard near by.
A long stage direction now moves the play on. Alan stares at Jill. There's a pause. She lifts her sweater over her head he watches her and he then unzips his. They both begin to strip, taking every item of clothing off their bodies. They are now naked and are looking at each other diagonally across the square. At this point the light is beginning to increase gradually. With the light increasing, there is also tension increasing too, with the audience thinking Alan and Jill are going to make love, but how will Equus react to it? The pause of the two staring at each other is broken by Alan saying, “You’re... You're very..."
Jill interrupts his nervous comment, “So are you...[Pause.] Come here."
[He goes to her. She comes to him. They meet in the middle, and hold each other, and embrace.]
Alan turns to Dysart, tells of how she put her mouth in his and how lovely it was too. The passion for Alan towards Jill is becoming increasingly evident, but the fury of Equus is also increasing. There is yet another lengthy stage direction in which Alan and Jill burst into giggles. Alan lays her gently onto the barn floor in the centre of the square and bends over her eagerly. All of a sudden the sound of Equus fills the place. Hooves smash wood. Alan straightens up adamant, and stares straight ahead of him, over Jill lying on the floor. What makes this part of the play have a spooky and disturbing side to it is how the play tells of loud noises to sound of wood being smashed by hooves, and the stamping of horses can be heard. But Jill seems very unconcerned which means that all of the noise that can be heard by the audience is what is heard in Alan's head. There could be noises from the horses near by, but potentially Alan's mind is dramatising it and to him it sounds worse than how it really does sound. Jill hasn't mentioned anything at all about the horses making all this noise. Jill being a horse fan and lover I'm sure would have been concerned or anxious about the horses making such a noise and fuss.
Dysart then asks Alan what happened next. He answers brutally, “I put it in her!"
There is now a series of questions asked by Dysart of Alan, just about him and Jill on supposedly having sex. It is a fast paced conversation with both the questions from Dysart and the answers from Alan being quite short. Alan mainly answers with one word and fast paced. Dysart begins by asking Alan if he really put it in her and going into deeper detail, even up to and including how easy it was and how far he put it in. He finishes of the fast paced part of the conversation by confirming with Alan that he really did have sexual intercourse with Jill and demanding the truth from him this time. Throughout these questions hurled at Alan, he never denied having sex with her until he did crack by telling Dysart to 'Fuck off!'. Whether this was in defeat or whether Alan had had enough of Dysart asking questions on this subject (and told him to 'Fuck off!', because he'd told him what he believed had happened), it could be either. But I do think that it was in defeat, which it does turn out to be.
[Alan collapses to the ground, lying upstage on his face. Jill lies on her back motionless, her head downstage, her arms extended behind her. A pause.]
Alan collapses to the ground in desperation and in the thought of how he has betrayed Equus. Jill lies there in disappointment. Dysart asks, “What was it? You couldn't? Though you wanted to very much?"
Alan replies, “I couldn't.... see her." Dysart asks what he means. Alan explains, “Only Him. Every time I kissed her – He was in the way."
When Alan had any contact with Jill in the stable, he tells of how ‘he’ was in the way (Equus). He says,".... When I touched her, I felt Him. Under me...His side, waiting for my hand.... His flanks.... I refused him. I looked. I looked right at her... and I couldn't do it. When I shut my eyes, I saw Him at once. The streaks on his belly... [With more desperation.] I couldn't feel her flesh at all! I wanted the foam off his neck. His sweaty hide. Not flesh Hide! Hide! Horse-hide!... Then I couldn't even kiss her."
Equus is over powering his other passion and Alan's passion for Equus is evident in the above quote. We can also see how much of a 'grasp/hold' Equus has on Alan's life from this scene (from the quote above), and other scenes earlier on in the play. We can see how Alan's religion and sex mix for him when it comes to Alan and Jill about to have sex in the stable. Whenever he touches and looks at her all he feels and sees is 'him.' This is Alan's passion for Jill clashing with his religious passion for Equus. Alan is now frightened. He backs off Jill and scrambles, tripping over himself in panic and in fright. He sits there in the corner of the stables like a beast in a cage, ready to snap any second or lash out.
Jill cries, “Alan!" Alan answers, “Stop it!" Jill gets up off the floor and begins to comfort Alan telling him it's ok and trying to make him relaxed. She tells him not to worry, how it always happens, that there's nothing to worry about and how she doesn't mind. Jill is talking about Alan backing away from having sex with her since she believes he was nervous and scared about the idea. [He dashes past her downstage.]
Jill continues to say, “Alan, look at me... Alan?... Alan!"
[He collapses again by the rail.]
Alan screams at her telling her to get out. She asks, “What?"
Alan repeats, softly, “Out!"
Jill, trying to still comfort him after what'd just happened, “There’s nothing wrong; believe me! It's very common."
Alan snaps, “Get out!"
[He snatches up the invisible pick.] He is near Jill and facing her. Jill feels threatened and scared at this point. This is showing us that Alan is clearly unsure of what he is doing since he is so scared, but angry, and we think that Alan may go for Jill with the pick.
"GET OUT!"
Jill now frightened tells Alan to put it down. Alan tells her to leave him alone. Jill answers back to him, telling him to put it down, and how dangerous it is.
[He 'drops' it, and turns from her.]
Alan begins to threaten Jill saying, "You ever tell anyone. Just you tell...” Alan is clearly embarrassed by the whole thing which just adds to his emotions of anger, regret, fear and now embarrassment. All his emotions are running through him and now confusion is beginning to affect him too. Jill tells him he's her friend and what did he think she was. Jill walks towards Alan. She comfortingly tells Alan he doesn't have to do anything. She mentions the idea of staying there, lying in the straw, and just talking. Alan has clearly had enough and simply says in a low tone, “Please..."
Jill pleads with Alan to say something. Alan impatiently answers, “Please!"
Jill finally gives in by telling Alan she's leaving, but saying she must put her clothes on first. She dresses rapidly. Alan again threatens her again like before. Jill snaps, and answers, "Oh, stop it! I wish you could believe me. It's not in the least important.”
Jill is clearly fed up with Alan, almost making out how pathetic he is, making such a big deal about what she thinks, but the real truth she knows nothing about.
[Pause.]
Jill finishes off yet again reassuring Alan, “Anyway, I won't say anything. You know that. You know I won't...."
[Pause. He stands there, still with his back to her]
"Good night, then, Alan... I wish – I really wish -"
Jill says that final line in disgruntlement. We do feel sorry for Jill since she cares for and loves Alan so dearly, but Alan throws it back in her face. We as the audience wish that she knew the reason why he didn't appreciate the love and attention.
There is a final stage direction which tells of how Alan turns on her, hissing. His face is distorted and possessed. Alan appears evil and mad. This makes us think has Equus taken over Alan? Jill turns in horrified panic leaving the barn, shutting the door behind her, disappearing up the tunnel and striding past the figure of Nugget.
Scene thirty three is one of the last scenes of the play. It continues the story of what happened on the night that Alan blinded the six horses. It is also important for another reason. Alan has two passions, the love for Jill and the love Equus. In this scene the two passions/loves clash and we see what effect it has on Alan and how both Alan and Equus reacted to it. This scene for both Dysart and the audience you could say is the final part of the jigsaw. It is when we find out the reason for why Alan committed that terrible act of cruelty upon the six horses and what really happened too. A degree of sympathy is felt from the audience towards Alan since now we know why he did it. There is also sympathy felt for Jill too since she doesn't know why Alan is acting the way he is, but is still loving and caring towards him. This scene makes the audience wish that she knew the reason of Alan's but it never happens. Throughout scene thirty three there is a build up of tension. It continues to flow on through to the next scene and there it breaks too.
