Once, every other day, I would be let out for an hour of exercise. I relished this opportunity, as it was the only time I could see the pretty sky and feel the cool fresh air on my skin. I would be alongside other prisoners, some were guilty some were not. I was not able to speak their language but I was happy enough to know that I was not alone. I did not care if it was raining, as this was the one thing that gave my life hope.
Whenever my stomach rumbled it made me think of all the lovely and delicious foods I longed for. I knew that I would not be eating that for a long time. Once a day, I would get a meal through a square hatch in the door. The meal normally contained a small stale piece of bread with lumpy soup and a tiny bit of fruit. Twice a week, I would be given some cheap meat. The food was revolting yet I had no choice but to eat it all.
I would sometimes try to save some of the food I got for later on in the day, but some foul insects would steal the food and run off with it. There were many large cockroaches that would come into my cell from underneath the door. I would find them in my bed or in my shoes and some would crawl on me while I was asleep. Occasionally rats would come in and this would keep me awake at night as I listened to them shuffling across the floor trying to find any traces of food.
The distant voices of other prisoners muttering in distant cells tortured me. I had no idea of the time, the day or even the month. I had not had a decent conversation with anybody for over three months. I had not walked down the street in so long that I was beginning to forget what it was like in the outside world. Once my family had meant something to me, but as I had not seen them for months they just seemed like a dream. A fantasy as though they never really existed. I do not know if they were contacted when I was put in here, I was not even allowed to make a phone call.
The reason I was in the cell was because of two very dim-witted girls, Crystal and Dianne. I had met these two girls on holiday when I went to Portugal, I was supposed to go to Portugal with my sister Claire, but she lost her ticket just before the night we were going to leave. The moment I came off the flight and reached to the airport of Portugal I wanted to meet someone new. I met Crystal and Diane at the airport as they dropped off one of their friends. They were just so talkative that they were talking to everybody, but most of the people didn't respond to them. When I started talking back they were a bit surprised. We decided to go out for a coffee and we got to know each other quite well, they even offered to let me stay at their place. They showed me around Portugal, which I was grateful for, as I had never been there before. They had been living in Portugal for two years but in a month's time they were to be heading back to England.
The three of us used to go out together a lot, particularly to the nearby clubs and I began to notice early on that they were selling drugs. At first I just could not believe it, but when they told me that it was only cannabis I became less worried. In fact, it hardly bothered me: I guess I thought that it was a safe drug that could not kill anybody. One night they asked if I would be interested in selling it to some of the locals. Despite Crystal's promises of 'easy money' and 'no risk' I plainly refused. After about a week, however, the offer of making some quick money became irresistible; particularly because my attempts at getting a job had failed and my cash was running out fast. I had never realised how much money one could make.
One day Diane gave me some drugs which looked different to the usual type. I asked her about it and she said it was just a different type of cannabis. I thought nothing else of it and sold almost everything she had given me. An hour later I heard that somebody had died in the club from ecstasy. I knew I was not guilty as I had only sold cannabis, or so I thought.
The police were interviewing everybody in the club to try to find clues. I was trying to find the other two but they had run out and left me. Many people started pointing the finger at me saying that I had sold the ecstasy. I was taken to the police station and was interviewed for what seemed like days, they searched me and found a small sachet containing the drugs. I kept telling them that it was cannabis but when the results of the test came it said that it was actually ecstasy. I was shocked.
I had to stay in a cell , but it seemed like a palace compared to the one I am in now. I was told that I would be facing a manslaughter trial. I could not cope with knowing that I could be facing a life sentence, so I eventually told them who I got the drugs from. At first they did not believe me but then witnesses started saying that they had seen me with two other girls. There was a search for them. I told the police their names but none of the names I had mentioned could be traced.
I was so angry. How could they set me up like that? Why did they give me false names and run away? I actually thought that they were real friends. They were just in it for the money and they did not care who they hurt on the way.
They must know that I am in prison, as the story has been in all the papers. I am to stay in custody for another month and then there will be the trial. If Crystal and Diane have not owned up by then I will have to go to prison for a minimum of 6 years. If they turn up I will only be facing five years because I sold cannabis knowingly. I definitely will not be able to last that long.
Being in a cell devastated me. The first couple of weeks there I tried killing myself as I could not cope with being locked up like a bird in a cage. I feel like a bomb just ticking away, knowing that one-day I will explode. I will never get over the wasted years of my life in a cell. This prison system has completely ruined my life. They know that I was not completely responsible and yet they are still treating me terribly. I could feel the rage inside bubbling as I closed my eyes and imagined Crystal and Diane in a place a thousand times better than this.
