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Creative Writing - 'Looking Back' - I felt miserable, mournful and melancholy when I was told that it was a boarding school.

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Introduction

I am going to write about my many memories of Mill Hall Primary School and my operation. I am also going to write about my relationships with my family and pet cat Cedric. I remember leaving my family and moving to Newbury with terrible, tearful goodbye when I had to stay at Mill Hall. My relationship with my family was very strong and it was the first time that I had to slip steadily away from my closely connected family. Have you ever had to do anything like that? I shouted 'No! No! No!' to my parents because I felt miserable, mournful and melancholy when I was told that it was a boarding school because I had never stayed there before, this was totally terrifying. On the first day of the winter season, I travelled by taxi to Mill Hall, upon arrival I immediately saw an enormous building surrounded by ivy covered walls. As the car stopped, I imagined it wheezed its deathly cough probably from its sorry engine. ...read more.

Middle

I looked closely towards the clock tower that was ticking irregularly; it stared intensely at me in eagerness to find out who I was. After five days of staying at boarding school without seeing my family, I simply could not survive without them. Imagine that! What a relief, I was a weekly boarder. My relationship with my head teacher, Mrs. Smith started when I first came to Mill Hall. She explained where my classroom was and the daily routine. I remember when I arrived in the classroom; I sat and nodded shyly in my lessons. I couldn't speak properly and I felt alone and afraid. A few weeks later, I was more settled. I had developed good relationships with my new friends and teachers, and they were kind and generous. When I went home on Friday I could hear Mill Hall calling out to me, because I started to develop a relationship with Mill Hall. My relationship with my cute, charming cat Cedric is special and I feel guilty for being absent from home every week. ...read more.

Conclusion

Smith told me that she was proud of me and delighted that I had managed to pass the test for secondary school. That was the end of my primary school days. During the summer of 2008, my Cochlear implant operation took place at St. George's Hospital in South London, the city that never sleeps, when I was 11 years old. I woke up with agony. I yelled, I screamed and I cried. Although, I stayed at hospital for one night, I was so hungry I could have eaten a horse! I am totally dependent on my cochlear implant and my hearing aid. I wear them all the time even during the night. I want to know what it feels like as a hearing person. After my operation my life changed into extraordinary experiences for me, I learnt to listen to new sounds that I have never heard before. I am profoundly deaf and I am determined to fight for a great life. I have a million things to do ahead of me and no matter how hard it is; I can still achieve good qualifications to get a great job in the future. How would you feel if you were me? ...read more.

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Here's what a teacher thought of this essay

4 star(s)

There is some good description within this piece and various literary devices have been employed; however the piece is not cohesive enough overall and there need to be stronger links made between the ideas and memories described. Always ensure a strong link between the beginning and the end of the writing.

4 Stars

Marked by teacher Laura Gater 05/09/2013

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