I am going to write about my many memories of Mill Hall Primary School and my operation. I am also going to write about my relationships with my family and pet cat Cedric. I remember leaving my family and moving to Newbury with terrible, tearful goodbye when I had to stay at Mill Hall. My relationship with my family was very strong and it was the first time that I had to slip steadily away from my closely connected family. Have you ever had to do anything like that? I shouted 'No! No! No!' to my parents because I felt miserable, mournful and melancholy when I was told that it was a boarding school because I had never stayed there before, this was totally terrifying. On the first day of the winter season, I travelled by taxi to Mill Hall, upon arrival I immediately saw an enormous building surrounded by ivy covered walls. As the car stopped, I imagined it wheezed its deathly cough probably from its sorry engine. I suddenly took a quick glance at a large, ligneous
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There is some good description within this piece and various literary devices have been employed; however the piece is not cohesive enough overall and there need to be stronger links made between the ideas and memories described. Always ensure a strong link between the beginning and the end of the writing. 4 Stars