Alyssa Bellave 12/27/11
Macbeth Trial Quinlisk
I call to the stand Macbeth......Did you or did you not Murder in Cold blood your king Duncan?
Your Honour on the night of the accused, I held a banquet with good
intentions for my King Duncan who has served the country for
many years. The events leading up to the acusation period were
somewhat distorted. A week or more ago I paid homage to a group
of medians unintentionally whilst on a journey with my fellow
companion Banquo. I was beckoned by the witch that confronted
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Peer Reviews
Here's what a star student thought of this essay
Quality of writing
This is a well written piece and it flows nicely. There is some issue with spelling but this is minor. The candidate has attempted to use a higher vocabulary, although this feels a little forced and I’m not sure that it works. For example the word ‘iriputable’ is used at the end of Macbeth’s first speech, it should be spelt irreputable (which means to have no reputation) and I think something like compelling (to have an irresistible/overpowering effect) would work better here.
Level of analysis
The use of quotations to aid in the retelling of Macbeth’s story is a nice touch, especially in the beginning when Macbeth is describing how he felt the witches were putting him under a spell. I think this is an interesting idea and perhaps something the candidate should have pursued further. In addition everything needs to be in speech marks, as the throughout the piece, people are talking to one another. I like the use of different fonts, so that it is clear when Macbeth is talking and when he is being asked questions.
Response to question
I really like the candidates approach to this piece, the use of the trial is an excellent idea and a great way to hear the story from Macbeth’s point of view. However I feel that it would have been more appropriate to try and use similar language to that used by Shakespeare in the play ‘Macbeth’, in this why it would feel more realistic. It is quite clear that this is taking place in a court room but it would have been interesting to set the scene and describe, whats happening, perhaps it could start with Macbeth being brought into the court room, this would add some drama.
