Dear editor of Sugar magazine. Do you know what affect your magazine is having on teenage girls? Are you aware of the consequences?

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Dear Sir or Madam,

                        I am writing to you regarding my concern about your magazine, ‘Sugar’. Firstly, I am a teenager, a girl.  My name is Mary Kate and I am currently 14 years old. I was born in Newham, Britain.  Thus, as a teenager, I have a very good understanding of what teenage girls like and what interests them. I was appalled when I saw the front cover of your magazine and could never have guessed it was for teenagers without reading the articles, puff and pug. Do you know what affect your magazine is having on teenage girls? Are you aware of the consequences?

 

My first impression of the magazine was that it was utterly vulgar and very unpleasing for teenagers. I was absolutely disgusted and disappointed to see the magazine mainly about fashion and appearance. As a British teenager, I know that most girls like to take interest into fashion as surveys show 89% of teenage girls in Britain spend their savings on improving their appearance. However, the way in which you have portrayed this implies that this is the only aspect important in a girl’s life. This is a stereotypical judgement! The content of the cover lines had really shocked me. In addition, you had claimed that your target audience were teenagers but I was unable to see any real teenage related issues that can help teenagers. Therefore I thought it was my duty to bring this to your attention.

 

Nevertheless, I must admire and commend your choice of colours used for the cover of the magazine. As pink is a popular colour that girls generally like and it is very bright I feel it was very successful to choose this colour scheme. Additionally, this was the reason for me taking interest into your magazine. As well as the great colour scheme, the masthead of the magazine is very suitable and memorisable. This is because it relates to the saying, ‘girls are made of sugar, spice and everything nice’.  Despite a few other teenagers saying you have been stereotypical about the masthead and colour scheme, I feel it is very relevant, pleasant and appropriate.

 

On the other hand, the main issue that has disturbed and upset me the most was your background model on the front cover of the magazine. I personally believe she is way too thin and dressed very unnaturally. Furthermore she is a woman with blonde hair and blue eyes which previously was thought to be the ideal look; this to me indicates that your magazine still believes in those ways and beliefs. By displaying such a model on a teenage magazine, readers will start to believe that the person is a role model and the ‘ideal woman’ that society wants, as they already have started to. Have you not thought of the consequences these images will bring? I personally was quite offended by the model you have chosen as have no similarities to her what so ever. The majority of teenage girls get very emotional as they are fragile and delicate about their appearance therefore most are willing to go to certain severe and intense extremes to accomplish what ‘society’ wants of them. Types of images like these are constantly publicized in the media and have major negative effects on teenage girls. As some girls have darker skin or different colour hair and eyes which they are unable to change, some may turn depressed, miserable and feel rejected from society because they do not match the looks of your ‘role model’.  Consequently, this will also negatively affect their self esteem and damage their confidence for eternity. Furthermore, girls are very determined individuals. As a result, some teenagers may turn to starvation to achieve the thinness of your model. Some may also turn to plastic surgery as an attempt to look like your model. Personally, I would feel very guilty to be passing messages like so to my readers. Images that illustrate men want only fair, anorexic, blonde girls are ridiculous. Beauty comes in all forms!

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Likewise, I am very upset by your pug. The pug of the magazine says “want to be a model?”. This suggests that a person’s appearance is very important because it was significant enough to be in the pug. The pug is on the top of the magazine and very eye catching for the readers to see. Do you realise that by promoting modelling in the pug could result to many girls feeling unhappy. This is because they feel they can not be a model as they do not resemble Christina who is suggested to have ‘the look’. Instead of ...

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The candidate has a good control over language and uses a wide vocabulary. There are few spelling errors and punctuation is excellent, in general. However, perhaps, this student slightly overused certain rhetorical devices such as the rhetorical question, which should be used sparingly to create a bigger effect. Overall though, the letter flows and reads very well, with the range of sentence structures making it an enjoyable read.

The content of the essay is excellent. A wide range of points are chosen and analysed in great detail which lead well to the candidate's conclusions. The student shows that they can use different methods of argument, such as the power of three, rhetorical questions, emotive language and repetition. The candidate links many of her points about what the magazine is promoting to social problems, this is good practice as it shows they understand some of the wider contextual issues, and that the argument is important as opposed to mere, petty complaints. A good addition was acknowledging the fact that certain parts of the magazine were good, with the subtle flattery creating a good first impression on the reader which means they will follow the argument more closely.

This response is well written; from the first paragraph, the aim of the letter is clear with a variety of persuasive and argumentative techniques displayed. The structure is simple and effective, each paragraph serves it's own purpose to further the writer's argument; furthermore, the points are presented in a logical order which makes the message appear more powerful. The letter is written in a precise manner that answers the question well without wasting words on irrelevant points.