Describe a local park

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Describe a local park

“Ronaldo!!” shouted Rooney. “Go tackle Sam”. Teenagers were running on the grassy land, kicking the ball all over the place, trying to be a professional footballer.

Everywhere it was green. Which means no pollution. A boy got tripped over on to the  

grass. It was calm and peaceful everywhere, no violence could be hunted around. Near the far end of the park, away from the football ground, was a beautiful garden for children to play. Swings, slides, play horses etc. were there. On the swings, a  newly built boy was swinging really high and got tripped over and started crying because he got injured badly. Thus, his mother picked him up and first aided him.

When you walk pass the tennis court, you can hear people saying “I challenge you for a match”. This is what usually happens in my local park.

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This was the brief description about my local park. However, there is more. It is summer, the sun is happy and is shining all over the place. People come out and play football, cricket etc. Old people come out as the weather is welcoming them and they jog or cycle on the walking tracks. People come to the park with their families. There is a wide variety of plants and trees to look at. There is a nursery in the park with healthy plants. Mostly in summer as it goes dark at ten, most people come to enjoy as ...

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This piece clearly identifies with the purpose - to describe a particular setting. A range of ideas are communicated through each of the five senses, mainly sight - the others are touched upon so could have been expanded further. The tone is persuasive and not too formal, as befits the purpose. Slight repetition of points of interest, but clearly structured via paragraphs which focus on different aspects of the setting. Several language features are used for effect, all of which are carefully selected to engage the reader. An awareness of the audience is evident. Structural features include direct address and some speech. Skills include a variety of sentence length, strengthened by a range of - mainly - accurately placed punctuation markers. Despite some repetition of weaker adverbs and adjectives the vocabulary is varied, and the spelling of each word is accurate.