Describing Canada - geography, food and language.
Extracts from this document...
Today, I brought Ketchup Chips and Canada Dry. Ketchup Chips are a Canadian invention and can only be found in Canada. Canada dry is also a Canadian invention and once again can only be found in Canada, however it has spread to many of the Eastern States of the USA like New York and Ohio. Other countries just have "gingerale". Canadian cuisine varies widely depending on each place you visit. The national food of Canada is poutine and butter tarts. Maple Syrup, Beaver Tails, and Canadian Bacon are some of the very popular cuisines Canada offers. The official national anthem of Canada is as we all know "Oh Canada". This has been Canada's National Anthem since 1967. ...read more.
Or when we write flavour we add the u after the o while Americans do not. Canada today has no official church, and the government is officially committed to religious pluralism. Christmas and Easter are nationwide holidays. Jews, Muslims, and other groups are allowed to take their holy days off work however, do not share the same official recognition. In some parts of the country Sunday shopping is even banned, but this is steadily becoming less common. Christianity is the most common religion in Canada, followed by Islam. Canada is divided into 10 provinces and 3 territories; and is bounded by oceans on three sides - the Pacific, The Arctic and The Atlantic. It is a country of outstanding natural beauty, and has a wide variety of landscapes; the mountains, the prairies, lakes and rivers with many national and provincial parks, making Canada the 2nd largest country in the world. ...read more.
Canadians dress like almost everybody else in the world with the typical jeans and t-shirt type of clothing. The climate chnage year long affects the costume as people need to wear warm clothing such as long winter coats and sweaters in the inter, or shorts and tank tops for the summer. Many Canadians are seen wearing Uggs or Canada Goose jackets. We were everything imaginable. We have to dress very warm in the winter because it can get very cold. We have Old Navy, Sears, Zellers, and many other stores. Because we are also a very diverse country you can see many different religious or cultural outfits everywhere you go. Like some Jewish people would wear long skirts and shirts that cover their shoulders, or some Islam people would wear a turban or a hijab. ...read more.
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Here's what a star student thought of this essay
Response to the question
This is a Writing to Inform task and the candidate here concentrates on informing readers about Canada. The answer is brief and comments on a range of different facts about the country, whilst also adding their own personal insight on ...Read full review
Response to the question
This is a Writing to Inform task and the candidate here concentrates on informing readers about Canada. The answer is brief and comments on a range of different facts about the country, whilst also adding their own personal insight on occasion, which helps colour in what would otherwise be a very informal piece of writing fit for a brochure of some description. However, there is plenty of room for improvement
Level of analysis
In terms of Analysis (or Information), I would like to have seen a more interesting opener. The Geography of Canada is probably the most important and thus should really be the opening topic of information - not some breezy fact about a certain crisps being exclusive to Canada (after all, people do not go to Canada just for crisps). So it could be said that the structure of this piece needs re-working quite substantially, as the most important facts are in the wrong order for an appropriate information brochure. This loses the candidate marks because it does not show an awareness of the intended audience, which is something all Writing tasks require because the suitability of the register, language and content must be compatible with the audience.
Quality of writing
The Quality of Written Communication (QWC) is very basic and contains numerous grammatical errors, and therefore this answer cannot gain very high QWC marks. I recommend reading and re-reading every paragraph written to check for spelling.grammatical errors to ensure that the QWC is of a high standard because if the sentence structure or spelling becomes ambiguous and the examiner cannot read the answer as intended, then this also compromises marks for Response to Question and Level of Analysis. I would also recommend using a variety of more complex punctuation points like colons, semi-colons and parentheses, to show that you are a confident writer who has an adept grasp of how to properly punctuate your writing.
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