10th December 1910:
Today I received a letter from Milwards confirming my place there as a sales assistant. I’m very excited about it, though I have had to change my name to Daisy Renton due to the events occurring at Arthur Birling’s factory, it would not be thought of as a good move if they were to think that they might be employing a troublemaker. But, this could be the fresh start that I have been waiting for.
18th February 1911:
Unfortunately, a young lady robbed me of probably the best job I’ve had, and ever will have. She launched herself at me. She was like a spoilt child; wanting a beautiful red dress that would be wasted on her because she lacked the correct skin tone acquired to best suit it. We noticed that this customer had a fuming temper from the moment she slammed the shop door. The manager and I tried to persuade her from trying on the dress, but she persisted to want it. She went to try it on and spotted me smiling - which is part of the job description; that we should always be smiling as it encourages the customer – she complained to the manager and ordered that I be dismissed from the store, or she would withdraw her families account. I feel most down hearted.
4th March 1911:
With nowhere to go, and not a penny to my name, I’ve ended up in the favourite haunt of the women of the town! Not as one, but because the most comfortable and cosy place on offer. I met a young man; called Gerald Croft, who saved me from certain assault from old Joe Meggarty. Gerald told him that the manager of the bar had a message for him, and he hurried off. Gerald is a very inquisitive person, he asked me question after question, though I was obliged to answer them because I had started to enjoy his company.
6th March 1911:
Gerald was shocked when I told him that I was to be removed from my accommodation because I could not afford it, so he set me up in his friends rooms, who had gone away to Canada for several months. Gerald left me with sufficient amounts of money and food, He is my one true friend at the moment, and I feel almost dependant on him.
9th March 1911:
We’ve started a relationship, and I feel just right when I’m with Gerald. At times it becomes slightly sketchy, almost as if he were hiding something. I have the nagging feeling that it is all going to end horribly, though I shall enjoy the company whilst it is present.
22nd March 1911:
As I had suspected, the relationship came to a halt and I could feel that Gerald needed to escape from it, so I produced an excuse and told him that I needed to get out of it. He was clearly thankful; offering me his money and sympathies. I think that he was just looking for a door away from his everyday life. His carelessness made him forget about me, and basically he used me as if I were for his amusement.
2nd November 1911:
These past months, my life has been severely wrought with my frustration due to the lack work, money, decent living conditions, etc. A woman (I struggle to remember the name) insisted that I spent my time over at the Palace Bar - where I met Gerald in March – A young man; who was drinking heavily with two companions, began talking to me and buying me drinks. After we had had our fill, he insisted that he walk me to my room, he got a little nasty as we reached my door, and the rest is terribly vague.
17th November 1911:
That young man was in the Palace Bar again, he didn’t seem to recognise me though, but he was a lot friendlier. As with the previous time; he walked me home, and I invited him in. We talked and I found out his name was Eric, and things carried on from there.
19th January 1912:
Much to our disbelief, I’m pregnant. Eric and I have seen quite a good deal of each other over the past two months, but I feel so used, as if I were his mistress. I knew that
the relationship would not last for any long period of time. He proposed, but I told him that I feel that it is not right for me to marry someone like him, for he is far too immature and probably could not handle a newborn as I, myself am slightly dubious about. Eric offered me money; which I took with great gratitude, though after about fifty pounds, I found out that the money had been stolen. This shocked me deeply and I never wanted to see him again. Whatever shall I do about the pregnancy?
26th January 1912:
I urgently needed help with my pregnancy, so I appealed for assistance at the Brumley Woman’s Charity Organization as a Mrs. Birling, due to my relationship with Eric. I felt that my story with him would make the charity members feel that they should refuse my appeal, so I produced a story telling of my husband deserting me once he had found out that I was pregnant. Though, strangely the member of the charity that I talked to was in a great shock from the moment I told her my name, she repeatedly questioned my situation, and when I gave in she used her influence over the entire committee to completely refuse my appeal. I told them about Eric, and what he was like yet they thought was all a pack of lies I was told that the charity would do nothing to help me, and that it is the father’s duty to look after the mother and their child, I’m truly distraught, what on earth should I do?
27th January 1912:
I have made my decision about the child, and I feel that it would not be right to allow a child into such a cruel, petty and prejudiced world, where those with power abuse it, and those without just standby and take abuse. My death is what is best for the child, and hopefully, in the future people can learn to treat each other with dignity and respect.
