Cesario spoke to me first from memorised words, but when he realised that this did not impress me, he spoke from the heart as “if he did love me in [his] masters flame.” He told me that he would “make … a willow cabin at [my] gate and call upon” me. So I think he might genuinely have feelings for me, but he is understandably anxious because I am above his station.
I have made my feelings clear by sending Cesario a ring. This is a token of my love and affection. He will have to “come to me again”. Hopefully it will be for him to thank me and “cry out ‘Olivia’!” Sending the ring was spontaneous but it was necessary for him to understand the true love that I feel for him. I know now for sure, even more certainly than before, that “I cannot love [Orsino]”, as my true passion belongs to Cesario. Even his name is mysterious and romantic. It was fate Cesario was chosen to come to me.
I will write again soon. Yours lovingly. Olivia XxX
Viola’s Diary
Dear Diary,
Today I experienced one of the worst catastrophes of my life. I was sent, as a messenger to the house of Olivia. My orders were to convey, on his behalf, the love from “Orsino’s bosom” to Olivia. God knows I love Orsino with all my heart, soul and mind. Why then do I have to wear this costume and be “not that I play” in order to carry out my masters wishes. What about my wishes? Maybe, if I could be the woman that I truly am, Orsino would love me and not her.
When I first arrived at Olivia’s home, I had to play a ridiculous game with her, which she had set up in advance by having her servant in the room. I did not know who was “the lady of the house, for I never saw her.” Even though I stood firm, Olivia just said, “Speak to me, I shall answer for her.” This did not give me “modest assurance [that she was] the lady of the house” until I finally persuaded Olivia to ask her lady servant to leave and “give us the place alone”. I finally had the opportunity to tell her about my masters “groans [of] thunder love”. In my heart I wish that his words of love were directed at me.
Olivia thought herself so beautiful, speaking of herself as a “present”. If it were down to me, she would be an unwanted gift! I do not believe God did all the beauty that was there and I am almost sure she must have had layers of make-up on her face. The height of her vanity was really demonstrated when she spoke of distributing her beauty, as if I was to be fascinated by her “indifferent red” lips. She is “too proud”!
I had to confess that “my lord and master” loved her. I felt such pain when uttering these words, for I love Orsino. I began to fully express his love for her, using romantic words and passionate phrases and her only response was to ask if there was “more to say”? Orsino declares his love beautifully, using wonderful vocabulary and she acts as though he is just repetitive and a burden that she does not want to carry. How could she refuse someone who loved her so much? If only his feelings “could be but recompensed”?
Olivia refused to even listen to my speech. In desperation, I began to speak of what I would do “if I did love her in my masters flame” from then on her attitude did change significantly. It was as though she was clinging onto every word I said. As unpleasant as her initial rudeness was, this made the situation even harder for me! I did not anticipate that she would show even the remotest interest in me.
To my absolute dismay, she sent one of her servants (Malvolio I think his name is) to give me a ring claiming that I had left it with her when I had done nothing of the sort. I realised quickly what she had done. She used her cunning to ensure I will have to “come to [her] again” to return the ring. Oh this is so hard! Why can’t I just return to my real life as a woman? Even though the path of true love is never simple things are now so complicated. Events have gone too far now and there is no way of turning back.
Yours, lovingly Viola or should I say Cesario. X*X
Commentary
In the above diary entries I have tried to show that they were written from two different points of view. I have tried to describe events from both perspectives. I had to really concentrate to remind myself to write Viola’s diary from a woman’s point of view.
As they were diary entries, the style of writing I have chosen to use is quite informal. I chose to use vocabulary and structure that suited the characters and time period. From my own experience I was aware that when recollecting moments or events at the end of the day, the thought process is not accurate and orderly. Events are remembered and written in the wrong order. Feelings can sometimes distort the truth.
In Olivia’s diary, I twisted her use of quotes to support her belief that Viola (Cesario) did love, by selecting just a short sample of the quote. If the whole quote was written it would not have had the same effect, as in real life only fragments of conversations can be remembered.
It is interesting to see how a few well chosen words can turn something positive to negative. For example, when Viola states that Olivia’s face was “excellently done” I left out the second half of the quote, which was “if God did all”. This is the kind of comment that a woman would make because she would be more aware of the affects of make-up. I wrote the second part of the quote in Viola’s diary, therefore balancing the arguments.
I wrote these diaries using bias and one-sided arguments to show each character’s point of view. By putting the diary entries of Olivia and Viola along side each other, I feel it shows a much more accurate account of events. It is not normally possible to see both sides of a story or two different points of view. For this reason, the diary entries for each character show how they have heard only part of the conversation and have therefore only chosen to select the words and memories that support their feelings.
Helen Hayes.