Rossetti describes the kind of life that the two had shared together, discussing future plans and holding hands. In these lines she uses enjambment, reflecting a love that cannot possibly be contained or restrained.
A change of tone, typical in a sonnet comes at the word “yet” and the opposite of “remember” is introduced, the word “forget”. Rossetti recognises the fact that her lover will sometimes forget for a moment what the two shared and the things they did, but she allows for this and does not want him to punish himself.
“Do not grieve.”
She wants her lover to be happy without her, and if this means that sometimes he must forget, then she would prefer for this, rather than just for him to resent her for the bad memories that she left for him in death.
Looking at the layout of the poem, it is clear that moving down the verse, the word “remember” creeps slowly further into the line, becoming progressively nearer the other end until it is not mentioned. Perhaps this is to reinforce that as time passes it will become easier for the reader to forget. Remembering will become less and less frequent, less urgent but it will still be as important.
I think that this poem is very relevant in this time; it is a timeless classic that has been consoling people who have suffered a loss for many years. It is special to me because it was read at the funeral of a close friend’s mother. The poem is very moving and Rossetti made it so successful by not making it obvious as to who the poem is written for. A simple gesture like holding hands or discussing future plans can apply to so many different relationships. I know that on the unfortunate day when I heard the poem for the first time, it consoled a whole church filled with people.
Lord Byron wrote about a different kind of loss between 1788 and 1824. His poem “When We Two Parted” describes the breakdown of an illicit relationship between himself and a woman who is not naïve to this sort of behaviour. From the title it is not clear if the parting was a good or a bad thing, whether the lovers were on good terms and even how it affected the two.
However by the second line:
“In silence and tears”
it is clear to us that the split was not to the liking of Byron and that one of them has suffered immensely. We learn that Byron should have read the signs and see that the break-up was coming but he did not.
The words that describe the physical appearance of this woman can be contrasted with the poem “First Love” written by John Clare.
“Her face it bloomed like a sweet flower.” Clare
This describes the object of Clare’s affection as pretty and delicate, “bloomed” giving the impression of a rosy colour, maybe even of a flushed complexion, full of warmth and attractive. However Byron describes the cheek of his lover as having grown cold and pale. The sorrow and darkness of these words reflect the pain and the awkwardness of Byron’s loss. The difference between the first stages of love, full of excitement and anticipation for what is to bloom and then afterwards in the later stages when a problem has occurred, the resentment and regret begins to emerge from what was once such a happy experience. The language in this first stanza is totally negative and painful, “silence and tears,” “cold,” “colder,” “sever,” “sorrow.” These words are empty and conjure bad images and harsher realities.
The last line of the first stanza ends “Sorrow to this.” It is an abrupt end, indicating that he has maybe lost his woman quickly and been cut off from her. After all the relationship was secret, he could tell no one.
Again both Clare and Byron discuss how love makes their faces grow cold and pale, as does Keats in his ballad “La Belle Dame sans Merci”. After his relationship has broken down with the mystery woman, Byron becomes more aware of the fact that he is obviously not the first victim. She is talked about, gossiped about in the circles that he mixes in and he feels embarrassed and ashamed to have been with her, as just another of her men-friends.
In the second verse of Clare’s “First Love” he speaks about how love made him blind.
“Seemed like midnight at noonday”
Although Byron is not aware of it, he was made blind by love, to the fact that the woman is known for having illicit relationships and he was going to be hurt by her. He really does love her; she promises him that she reciprocates his love but the vows are broken along with Byron’s heart when the relationship ends, again very like Keats’ ballad.
When he hears her name, Byron describes it as like hearing a funeral bell.
“A knell to mine ear.”
This is more dark imagery that adds to his picture of suffering. He shudders and questions why he loved her so dearly.
In the last stanza Byron mentions that he grieves for her love; she is dead to him now if he cannot have her to love. He resents how she treated him and cannot believe how little she was affected, he feels deceived and used.
The first line is repeated as the last, turning the poem into a circle of regret and resentment. The rhyming pattern is simple and is repeated throughout giving it a monotonous tone, almost like a march or a tolling bell. Added together with the dark imagery of funeral bells and severed hearts, the poem is much darker than any of the others, which use natural beauty as a starting point for their comparisons. The lines are short and constrained, there is no use of enjambment; Byron’s emotions have had to be suppressed they cannot flow freely like Rossetti’s example.
Recently the relevance of this poem was brought to light when senior MP David Blunket had an affair with the nanny of his children. Mr Blunket was used and taken advantage of, he was even persuaded to “fast-Track” the spiteful woman’s visa papers for the UK. She also claimed to have his baby. When he was interviewed in the media, it was clear to see the immediate pain and suffering, because he, like Byron, genuinely did love the woman.
The emotion conveyed in Byron’s words are something that anyone who has had their heart broken can associate with and relate to.
Christina Walsh wrote “A Woman to her Lover” between 1750 and 1800. Christina Walsh was a pioneering poet; she was probably one of the first women to voice what she wanted from a partner. Much like Edith Nesbit’s “Villegiature” the poem describes the extremes of what a husband can be although Walsh has not written her poem in such a “tongue-in-cheek manner.
“A Woman to her Lover” is written in free verse (unconventional at the time) which reflects the freedom and independence of Walsh’s ideals. She begins the first stanza with a question, which is very direct and personal. The language used describes a world where a wife is treated as an object or a possession. The words with the alliteration in the B’s really emphasise the labour and anguish that some women experienced in those times; “Bend me over to your will,” “A bond-slave,” “to bear you,” “wearing out my life,” “drudgery and silence.” Walsh explains that she will not just be used to have his children, and she will not obey her husband as a slave does a master. She does not want to have a muted, miserable existence.
In the next verse Walsh makes it clear that even though she does not want to be treated like a slave or a servant she equally does not want to be idolised. The language is littered with idealistic and beautiful references. “Golden,” “Heaven sent,” “Angel.” She refuses however to be worshipped and put on a pedestal, like a god. A reference is made to not being
“A wingless angel who can do no wrong.”
Robert Browning wrote his poem “My Last Duchess” about a duke who had a young wife but killed her because he felt that she did not respect him enough. Of course she did respect him and was grateful to him for all that he had given her but like Christina Walsh, she did not want to be some kind of “trophy-wife” who is there just to look at and be silent. Browning’s duke expects his duchess not to have a voice or friends or feeling anything but the greatest loyalty and gratitude to him. Walsh rejects this absolutely.
The matter of sex is discussed in verse three where Walsh voices her disgust at men who have a
“Clamorous Desire.”
She uses alliteration of the letter ‘S’ in this verse,
“Skin soft only for your fond caresses”
“Supple only for your sense delight.”
Walsh will not be used for sex and by using the letter ‘s’ repeatedly, her dismay is reiterated. The ‘s’ is snake-like making all the words and ideals discussed sound “sleazy” and wrong.
The next stanza starts with “but” indicating a change in mood, much like the “yet” in Remember. The language changes in tone completely, like the sun coming out on a dark day; Walsh lifts up what is being said, making the bond between her and her partner moving and desirable. She talks about marriage as an equal journey, mentioning “together,” she wants the respect to be equal. She wants her and her lover to exist in matrimony where things are shared. They will enjoy love and death together.
When the two agree and the relationship is achieved, Walsh promises:
“I am yours forever”
The language used to describe what will happen afterwards elevates the love, taking it to an unearthly level. This love is something more than can be described with gestures or compared to anything on this earth. It is so great in fact that it,
“Will make the stars to laugh with joy”
The music of the spheres will be their bridal march. The love that Walsh describes is eternal, equal and Godly.
The poem is definitely still relevant today. The qualities of a good relationship voiced in this poem are still things that matter today, especially to women. I do expect most of these things from my husband when I get married. However the poem probably does not have as much impact now as it did back when it was written. Women have a more defined place in society now and we are listened to most of the time. What makes this poem so special is that it was written at a time when women did not have a voice; it was before we even had the right to vote but it was a personal account of the feelings of probably thousands of women.
All of the poems that we have looked at describe very different types of love and the many extraordinary feelings that go hand in hand with falling in and out of love. These feelings will continue to be written about as long as people keep falling in love.
