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English Horror Story - Creative Writing Coursework I was driving for about three hours when I realised I had taken the wrong turning and was hopelessly lost. I

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English Horror Story - Creative Writing Coursework I was driving for about three hours when I realised I had taken the wrong turning and was hopelessly lost. I pulled over to the side and found my mobile phone in order to phone for help. Surprisingly, the battery had run completely low and I began to feel a sense of panic as it was rapidly becoming darker. In the distance, I saw the outline of a house and I thought that I could detect smoke coming out of the chimney. I decided that I had no option but to make my way to the house and ask for directions and for the use of the telephone as my family would be getting worried about me. I drove to the house which was completely isolated and as I pulled up outside, my car engine abruptly cut out. In the car seat, I sat and pondered what to do. I looked up at the house and noticed that the house almost appeared to be normal however the lack of light made the house seem somewhat ghostly and dooming. The house also seemed to be illuminated around its edges, giving it an eerie and unnatural glow. However, I had no choice but to approach the house, because my other option was to stay in my car, where it was becoming increasing cold as I could feel the cold biting through my coat. Trembling, I swung open the car door and stepped out of the car. Surprisingly, the ground was muddy and wet, but I could not recall any rain during my journey. ...read more.


I took a mental note of it and decided to catch some sleep. As I finally relaxed, I found out just how comfortable the bed was, and that was the last thought to cross my mind that night. I woke up early to the soothing sounds of the piano. I followed the sounds in the living room where I had first entered. The room looked very different in sunlight; last night I didn't even notice the exquisite piano that I see today. I looked over at the piano seat and I saw a little boy sitting down concentrating hard on the piece of music he was playing. For such a young person, I was surprised that he could play so well. I sat down near the boy and waited for him to finish. Before he reached the end, he pushed his chair back with a scrape and walked round to face me. "Hello," the boy said. "Hello," I replied, "You have quite a talent for playing the piano. I must say, it is wonderful to see such a young person to take such an interest in music. Most boys your age usually just fight and play football." "Thank you." Said the boy and then stiffly turned and walked much like a soldier out of the room. I found our conversation quite bizarre, but then again, I found this whole house bizarre. Everywhere in this house I felt some sort of presence and coldness that seems to be indescribable and it made me feel like some inane, senseless 'supernatural' believer. ...read more.


I was both speechless and breathless. "Hello," Montgomery said, "Surprise!" Montgomery's evil laugh echoed through the whole cave and back. "Who are you?" I asked "Are you sure you want to know?" He replied grinning mischievously. I stood and stared at him blankly. "I am every man's worst nightmare. I am the scourge of the humans. I quite simply am death." "Death!" I said laughed. "This has got to be a joke, right?" Montgomery stood in front at me expressionless. "But you have a son!" I exclaimed "Do you mean him? No, he is not my son, he is me! How did you think he could play the piano so well, remember?" It all came to me in a rush. I realised that this was no lie. I realised that Montgomery had no son. "I think it is about time we have a little talk." Death said "Am I going to die?" "That depends." "On what?" "You!" he said sharply. "Me? Why me? What have I done?" I confusingly asked. "You are my successor." "ME?" I said in disbelief, "I wouldn't hurt a fly let alone kill people." "It's in your blood." "In my blood? What do you mean?." I asked dreading the answer. "Before, when you thought I had no son, you were wrong. 24 years ago, my son was born. You are my son. You are the rightful heir to this title. I am past my time. You are now Death." I looked up at Montgomery and simultaneously, we laughed our evil laugh and I felt my heart beating its last beat and suddenly I had no need to breathe. "I AM DEATH!" ...read more.

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Here's what a teacher thought of this essay

4 star(s)

A well-told story which effectively builds tension throughout and manages the key elements of the story competently, with the exception of the plot non sequitur concerning the Internet. The lexical features are managed competently, as is sentence construction in most cases, effectively changing to short sentences to heighten tension and speed the action. There is some clumsy repetition of nouns, such as "house", and a few punctuation errors, mostly around the representation of speech. The ending is abrupt and strong.

4 stars.

Marked by teacher Jeff Taylor 26/04/2013

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