English Horror Story - Creative Writing Coursework I was driving for about three hours when I realised I had taken the wrong turning and was hopelessly lost. I

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I was driving for about three hours when I realised I had taken the wrong turning and was hopelessly lost. I pulled over to the side and found my mobile phone in order to phone for help. Surprisingly, the battery had run completely low and I began to feel a sense of panic as it was rapidly becoming darker. In the distance, I saw the outline of a house and I thought that I could detect smoke coming out of the chimney. I decided that I had no option but to make my way to the house and ask for directions and for the use of the telephone as my family would be getting worried about me.

I drove to the house which was completely isolated and as I pulled up outside, my car engine abruptly cut out. In the car seat, I sat and pondered what to do. I looked up at the house and noticed that the house almost appeared to be normal however the lack of light made the house seem somewhat ghostly and dooming. The house also seemed to be illuminated around its edges, giving it an eerie and unnatural glow. However, I had no choice but to approach the house, because my other option was to stay in my car, where it was becoming increasing cold as I could feel the cold biting through my coat.

Trembling, I swung open the car door and stepped out of the car. Surprisingly, the ground was muddy and wet, but I could not recall any rain during my journey. I carried on, with my shoes squelching, leaving a trial of mud behind me. Up ahead, I saw a shimmering object. I squinted, trying to make out what the object was, but the light was too bright. As I approached the house, I saw the object for what it really was - a fierce looking lion's head. The lion's head seemed to glisten and gleam in the front porch light. The light danced off the head bringing it to life, which momentarily unnerved me. But nevertheless, I moved closer and I realised that it was only the door knocker. I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. I could hear the scuffling of shoes as if a person was rushing about inside, making me wonder whether these people were trying to hide something.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the door opened, and on the other side stood an old tired man in what seemed to be a butler's uniform. However, the old man did not look like a regular butler as he was quite plump and seemed to waddle instead of walk. He gestured for me to come in and to follow him. He waddled into the living room where a younger man sat, smoking a pipe. The younger man looked up at me, and startled me by his left glass eye, which seemed to be constantly staring at me.

"Ah, hello my friend. What brings you here on this night of the full moon?" The young man asked with the glass eye still staring intently. "Oh, and please do keep your voice down. My son is already asleep upstairs."

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"I'm sorry to disturb you at this time of night, but I am lost and my car has broken down. I was wondering if it would be possible to use your telephone; that is if it's not too much trouble."

"I'm afraid to say that the storm earlier on has cut all the telephone lines in the area. However, if you wish, I have a spare bedroom that you may sleep in."

Again, I could not remember a storm or even bad weather on my journey. In fact, I couldn't remember half of my journey here and felt as if ...

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A well-told story which effectively builds tension throughout and manages the key elements of the story competently, with the exception of the plot non sequitur concerning the Internet. The lexical features are managed competently, as is sentence construction in most cases, effectively changing to short sentences to heighten tension and speed the action. There is some clumsy repetition of nouns, such as "house", and a few punctuation errors, mostly around the representation of speech. The ending is abrupt and strong. 4 stars.