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English Short Story Coursework

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Introduction

Year 10 GCSE course work Short story Lance eagerly watched the balcony like a hawk which had caught sight of its prey, he was sitting beside the fire place with a rifle clutched firmly in his hands, and he knew they were coming. On the outside he looked calm however on the inside was a different story, his heart was racing and his lungs were suffocating, he knew his life was drawing to an end. Lance sat motionless, not one muscle in his body moved and it appeared as though he had already been killed. Although his expression remained very simple, his brain on the contrary was as jumbled as a jigsaw: he was wracking every nerve and cell deviating plans and escape manoeuvres that might hopefully secure his life but they were nothing more than just theories. Lance remained still keeping his movements to a minimum, the fire place began to crackle and feint sparks appeared as the wood began to singe, he pondered deep into his thoughts almost unaware of his surroundings, so it would appear. A chandelier hung above his head, it shimmered vibrantly in the fire light and it almost created a peaceful atmosphere but Lance knew carnage was just around the corner...possibly closer. Lance had remained in the same position for hours on end, he was sat upon a chair and much like the rest of his furniture it was priceless. ...read more.

Middle

They began asking questions in their minds, how did that happen? Wasn't he dieing? Why are we still standing doing nothing? It was now time for the second and final phase of Lance's scheme and this was the bit where he would escape. "Seize him you ingrates" was the voice of one of the cloaked figures. On that note the other two charged at Lance as though they were a stampede, Lance crouched behind the chair, which was now on its side, and used it as a temporary shelter. The two men opened fire relentlessly and the room was filled with a barrage of bullets, crockery was annihilated, fissures had begun to appear in furniture and within a split of second priceless heirlooms had become worthless fragments. "Where is he?" hollered one of the figures and you could tell by the tone of his voice how low his I.Q was, Lance decided he was going to target this one first (for now). "He's still alive" said one of them, "I can smell his repugnant guts." "No one could have survived that," claimed the other "not even you boss." "You dare challenge my authority, Naberius?" one of them retorted, although he knew it was true he felt it was his place to make a remark. "C'mon Lucifer lets make sure he's dead this time," Naberius snarled, he held his gun in position, "There's no way he's going to escape yet again." ...read more.

Conclusion

"Who are you?" Lance asked, not expecting reply, "why are you after me and my family? What have we done to deserve this encumbrance?" The figure, still cloaked, remained as still as photograph and Lance grew tired of waiting for a response, he knew more of them would be approaching and that he had to abandon his apartment by dawn. "I'm going to ask you once more!" roared Lance, "who are you?" There was no response, Lance picked up the rifle and at that very moment the figure also arose and his firearm had been fully loaded. The enemy pulled trigger and had started once more, Lance evaded the shower of bullets and shot the chandelier which had been dislodged earlier, the structure collapsed from the ceiling and toppled onto his foe. An hour had passed and the corpses had remained in the same positions, Lance had packed his things and was yet again ready to leave his home. Where would he go? What would he do? These are all questions that circled in his mind; it was the break of dawn and the sun was slowly making is appearance over the horizon; Lance had left the building and was now on the run once more. When would he and his family ever be safe? Why are they still after him? Would they ever forgive him for what he did? The questions were still encircling through his mind but one thing that was certain was that Lance Powers was always on the move because they were coming, they'd be back...they were always back. ...read more.

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Here's what a teacher thought of this essay

4 star(s)

This essay is very effective in invoking the danger and pace of a dramatic and threatening scenario. Imagery is used effectively: the chair as a boa constrictor and other strong similes. Pace is well managed, with the exception that the punctuation is rather loose in parts, causing some breaks in the otherwise well-controlled sentence structure. There is some inappropriate lexical usage, such as the homophone "feint" instead of "faint".

4 stars

Marked by teacher Jeff Taylor 20/05/2013

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