I remember a time when I wasn’t in this white room. I remember when the world was so colourful and my mommy was always happy, or at least seemed it. We used to spend so much time together, she would take me to the park or the zoo, the zoo was her favourite. She loved the giraffes.
When I couldn’t sleep she would sing me a lullaby. I don’t remember the rhythm or the words now but I do remember that after she would sing it to me I knew I would be okay.
She stopped smiling when he came to live with us. He was tall and had an air of authority around him. He was cold and strong yet my mommy adored him but he adored no one. At the start the would always hug and whisper “ I love you” but after a couple weeks things changed. The hugging stopped and the whispering “I love you” turned In to shouting “I hate you”.
One day I was walking home from school because my mother had forgotten about me again. After getting through our jungle of a garden and to the door, I knocked on the door. Still outside after a few minutes I opened the letter box and called out “ Mommy, I got home from school okay so you don’t need to worry,” No one answered so I continued “ Can you open the door please I don’t have a key, I’m sorry.” Again no answer. I stepped back looking for another way to get in.
After eventually squeezing through a slightly open window I stood in the room waiting for my eyes to adjust to the dim house. I walked to her bedroom, when I got there the door was already slightly open. I opened it fully and almost chocked on the smell that engulfed me. It was strong and horrid, I couldn’t explain it and I didn’t want to. Then I saw her, her eyes still open but looked glazed over. I stood there, just looking at her. She didn’t seem to mind.
I don’t know how long I was there, just staring , but soon people came. Their faces mixed with so many emotions but the dominant ones were anguish , sadness and pity.
Two men came and picked me up before bringing me to a car. One of them said “ We’ll take you somewhere safe and you can talk to some people” I stared at him. “Can my mommy come?” His eyes stayed glued on the road but he answered me “No, where you’re going your mommy can’t come” I continued to stare at him “ She can come visit though can’t she?” The man suddenly jerked the car to a halt and turned to look at me, pity indented in his face. He whispered in such a soft voice that sounded strained “I’m sure she will.”
That was long ago, I can’t wait for my mommy to get better so she can come visit me and take me home. I crawled onto my bed and wrapped myself in a blanket. I looked at Sally who was beside me, I hugged and said goodnight to her laying my head down on my uncomfortable pillow so I was facing the opposite wall staring at my pictures until I eventually forced myself to sleep.