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Eva Smith's Diary

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Introduction

Eva Smith's Diary 29th September 1910 I hate Mr. Birling! The only secure job I've ever had with a frequent income and what does he do? Fires me, and why? All because I asked for a petty shillings and sixpence more than I was already earning. Pathetic. And of all the cheek... he let everyone else go back to their jobs at their old rates but accused me of being a ringleader and told me to never ever go back. Well... I'll never set foot in that place again. I may even have to go on the streets because I cannot afford to pay the rent on my flat. But I'll adjourn the situation for a few weeks and see if any other vacancies for jobs crop up, wish me luck. 3rd October 1910 I can't believe it. Today has been one of the worst days, in fact the worst day of my life ever. I never thought my Dad would give up, but early hours of this morning the pain in his chest became unbearable for him. He took an overdose of his medication, which finished him off. I don't know what I'll do without him. I'll miss him so much, he was the only family I had left. ...read more.

Middle

I didn't hesitate one single little bit, anything to get me out of that wretched place. He offered to take me to the County Hotel for a drink or two and to have a little friendly chat. We arrived and I got a whiff of the mouthwatering smell of the kitchens as soon as we entered the main hall. Of course I didn't mention the fact that I was extremely hard up and absolutely starving. When the waiter came we ordered our drinks, I asked for a port and lemonade and Gerald, that was this wonderful man's name, ordered some other concoction. We chatted for a while, mainly about myself as he seemed really interested in what I had to say. I told him about the trouble I'd had with jobs, money etc. but one thing I didn't talk about was my past. I thought it best for him not to know. Then I made a huge mistake, I said that I was really hungry but couldn't afford a proper meal. How could I be so stupid as to let it slip out? But to my astonishment, he called over the waiter and ordered him to cook me whatever I wanted, so I ate until I couldn't eat another bite. ...read more.

Conclusion

I broke down and told him everything. He was in a state with himself over it too. He told me he would marry me but I didn't want him to because he obviously doesn't love me. If he did he would never force me into bed. He gave me enough money to see me through instead. But I said I wanted nothing more after that and that I didn't want to see him again. So that's the last I'll be seeing of Eric thankfully. 3rd December 1911 I went to that Brumley Women's Charity Organisation today. I appealed for help. I'm a single pregnant woman and can't afford to live. I said my name was Mrs. Birling as that was Eric's surname. It was then, and only then, that I realised that that was the chairwoman's name. That had probably been what prejudiced her against my case. She didn't like the way I'd used her name so she used her influence to have my plea for help refused. She told me to go and look for the father of my child because it was his responsibility. Well that was the last straw. I am in the world alone, friendless, almost penniless, desperate. I can't cope with anymore rejection. It's obvious that no one cares for me, the world will be a better place without me. So I am going to leave to a better world. Goodbye hurt. rejection and confusion, find another victim. ?? ?? ?? ?? ...read more.

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