As well as keeping to complicated social standards, a lady was expected to have a wide range of useful skills, such as playing the pianoforte and doing embroidery.
One of the reasons for marriage which is explored in great detail in ‘Pride and Prejudice’ is for material success or gain. The main example of this which is given to us by Austen is is Charlotte Lucas and Mr Collins’ relationship. Charlotte is in a very different position to Elizabeth Bennet; she is not exceptionally pretty, nor in a position to have almost any man she choses, and at the ripe old age of twenty seven is starting to become an ‘old maid’. He future is at stake because if she does not find a husband quickly, she will be forced to live with her parents for the rest of her life, and her reputation in society in society will be badly damaged. The prospect of marrying someone that she doesn’t love isn’t a worry to Miss Lucas, however, because as she says to Elizabeth, “I am not a romantic you know.” She does not believe in love, probably because she hasn’t found it yet. Previously, she told Lizzy that “Happiness in a marriage is entirely a matter of chance.” She believes that if you know someone very well before you marry them, you are partial to a lot of their faults and irritating tendencies, and that in time, your love for them will fade and turn into dislike. If, like Charlotte does later, you marry someone before you know them properly, you will not see the bad side of them for a long time, which might allow you to grow to love them eventually, and so any of their faults will not come as a shock. This means that she is perfectly happy to marry someone that she doesn’t know or love (as long as he is able to support her financially) because she thinks that she can grow to love him, and in her opoinion, being mistress of her own house will compensate for the personality of her husband. Jane Austen influences the reader’s perception here by making the character that Lizzy is good friends with believe whole-heartedly in it. This shows that Austen does not particularly approve of marrying for this reason (like Elizbeth), but can sympathise with it if, like Charlotte Lucas, you are on the verge of becoming dependent on your parents for the rest of your life.
Another motive for marriage which is looked down upon by Jane Austen is selfishness. The perfect example of this is Mr Collins in his proposal to Elizabeth Bennet in chapter nineteen. Throughout his speech he refers to ‘me’, ‘my’, and ‘I’, and progresses to tell Lizzy his reasons for marrying, but fails to include why Lizzy might want to marry him! His first incentive is that,
“I think it a right thing for every clergyman in easy circumstances (like myself) to set the example of matrimony in his parish”
This makes it appear as if he does not really want to get married, but if he did, he would probably be seen as a kind and helpful man who was eager for his community to lead happily married lives. His second reason is as follows:
“I am convinced that it will add very greatly to my happiness”
Mr Collins has not even tried to hide the fact that this is a selfish motive! He probably put this reason in if not out of sheer stupidity then because he thought that if he put very honest statements such as this in, Elizabeth would think that she could trust him and that he would be a truly devoted husband. His third and final reason for
marrying her was, he said, that he was told to by his patroness, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, to find a wife who he could take back to Hunsford,
“And thirdly, which perhaps I ought to have mentioned earlier...she said, ‘Mr Collins, you must marry...chuse a gentlewoman for my sake...not brought up too high...Find such a woman as soon as you can, bring her to Husnford, and I will visit her’”
Mr. Collins stating that he ought to have mentioned Lady Catherine’s happiness before his own is proof enough that he devotes himself to her constantly without him telling Lizzy, effectively, that Miss de Bourgh wants him to marry someone whom she can look down upon and possibly even ridicule. This is obviously a ridiculous request but Mr Collins does not see it as at all unfair or out of the ordinary, which suggests that requests like this on his personal life are very common. It is also quite insulting to Elizabeth because it seems as if he is telling her that she isn’t as good as Lady Catherine, therefore it would be alright for him to be married to such a woman. It is not surprising that Jane Austen thinks that marrying for selfish motives is a terrible thing to do, and she expresses this opinion by making the most revolting character in the book (Mr. Collins) propose to the heroine (Elizabeth Bennet) in the most selfish way imaginable! Not one of his three reasons for their marriage mentions why SHE might want to marry HIM, which implies that self-centered gentlemen are not very nice people and that you should not marry them if you can do better. Jane Austen influences the reader’s perception here as well by making Lady Catherine de Bourgh, who is very high in society, a very unkind and nasty person with whom you would not want to be friends, whereas she makes Elizabeth, who comes from a very low-class family in comparison, incredibly compassionate and an agreeable person to be with. This makes us think twice about judging someone for their wealth or social status, as many people do.
Marrying a person for his or her family connections is a topic that is rather debatable. Jane Austen realises that it is very important for sustaining a good reputation not to marry someone who is socially below you and sympathises to an extent with it, but she shows through Mr Bingley that if your reputation is already very good, you can get away with making comments like,
“I’m sure that if they had uncles enough to fill all of Cheapside, it would make them no less agreeable”
Mr Bingley sees past family connections and just concentrates on the person he is in love with or likes a lot because it doesn’t change them at all. Of course, a lot of other people could secretly have this opinion but do not have the self confidence to admit it in public, because it was traditional for the offspring of aristocratic families to marry into other aristocratic families, rather like royalty nowadays.
Yet another reason for marriage which is investigated in Pride and Prejudice is marrying for superficial attraction and mismatch. Jane Austen strongly disagrees with this because it can be dangerous, which she shows by making Elizabeth, our heroine, fall for Mr Wickham, the villain, who falsely accuses Mr Darcy of betraying the wishes of his deceased father and cutting off Wickam’s money. He leads Lizzy to believe that he is very hard done to and turns her against Darcy. It takes a long time for her to realise that Mr Wickham is actually lying, because Mr Darcy is too proud to talk about his personal life in public and defend himself against Wickham. By doing this to Lizzy, Jane Austen shows us how easy it is for even the most sensible and headstrong people to be taken in by someone like Wickham, so we must guard against it. Our first clue that tells us the possible truth about Mr Wickham and Mr Darcy comes from Caroline Bingley,
“As to Mr Darcy’s using him ill, it is perfectly false; for, on the
contrary, he has always been remarkably kind to him, though George Wickham has treated Mr Darcy in a most infamous manner”
Miss Bingley is implying (not very subtly!) that Mr Wickham is lying about what has happened between him and Darcy, and in fact he is the bad one! Elizabeth is not inclined to believe Miss Bingley though because she might just be wanting to put Elizabeth off Mr Wickham so she can have him for herself. She also believes that “There was truth in his looks”, which helps her make the firm decision that Mr Wickham is telling the truth and that anyone who disagrees is probably either delusional or trying to trick her. She will not even hear reason from he sister, Jane, who thinks that it is highly unlikely that even Darcy could do something so cruel to another human being.
The final and probably most important reason for marriage which I am going to discuss is for love. Jane Austen (and therefore Elizabeth) believes that this is the only acceptable reason for
marrying someone, and that if you do not love a man, you should not marry him. After hearing Charlotte tell her that she does not believe in love before marriage, Elizabeth replies,
“You make me laugh, Charlotte, but it is not sound. You know that it is not sound, and that you would never act in this way yourself.”
This makes it perfectly clear that Lizzy thinks that it would be impossible for anyone, no matter how set-against romance they are,to marry someone for a reason other than love. This proves that she is a romantic, and once set in her ways cannot see how anybody could think differently to her.
In conclusion, I would say that Jane Austen looks down upon marrying for material success or gain, and superficial attraction and mismatch because at least one person in the relationship will end up being unhappy. She does, however, believe in marrying for love because you will be able to live the rest of your life happily with a partner you are devoted to. I also think that if you choose to marry, you should only do it for this reason because I believe that all you need is love.
By Bekky Kennedy 105