As the Maiden looks back she realises she was happy before.
Woe's me for joy thereof-
This could be a factor to why she is so unhappy now, because of the memory. We find throughout this stanza she is very reflective of how she was treated and her feelings.
To lead a shameless, shameful life,
His plaything and his love.
The oxymoron shameless, shameful, draws attention to how the Maiden is feeling. She is shameless beacause she did love the Lord, so it did not seem wrong, but looking back now she is shameful, because it meant nothing to the lord.
Plaything gives us the impression that the maiden was used as an object just for the Lords pleasure. She is often referred to as an object rather than a human being.
He wore me like a silken knot
He changed me like a glove
Wore me makes us see the maiden being used for show, to perhaps accentuate the lords position and wealth through her beauty.
The use of the simile changed me like a glove shows how thoughtless the lord is. In the victorian times, when this poem was wrote, men wore white glove, which can become dirty very quickly, so they got changed regulary. When you change a pair of gloves you do not put thought into how they feel, meaning the lord did not care how the Maiden was feeling.
Like the first stanza, the second finishes with the maiden looking for answers and wondering.
So now I moan, an unclean thing,
Who might have been a dove.
Moan signifies the maidens feelings, she is unhappy. Unclean thing shows how the maiden feels about herself and why she may be unhappy. Instead of saying unclean person, the word thing is used, making her seem like an object and not that important.
The third stanza begins with a change in audience, from us as readers to Kate.
O Lady Kate, my Cousin Kate
You grew more fair than I:
The first line shows how Kate is of a high status and by adding the word cousin we are informed that the maiden and Kate are related. The second line suggests Kate may be younger than the maiden as she Grew more Fair.
We find the Lord is only interested in possesions and appearances.
He saw you at your Fathers gate,
Chose you and cast me by.
By using the verb saw we are shown the lord chose Kate because of her looks. Cast me by shows that he put no thought into it and felt nothing about chosing Kate over her. This is understandable of his behavior as it seems he never loved the maiden for who she was inside.
He was also not completely faithful to the maiden.
He watched your steps along the lane
By doing this he was not faithful to the maiden because while he was with her he was looking at Kate, which he should not have been doing if he was in a relationship.
The fourth stanza re-instates the ideas of possesions and regrets.
Because you were so good and pure
He bound you with his ring
This could mean he wanted to marry someone untouched. It also suggests the maiden being envious of their marraige.
During the the few lines we are given evidence to support these views.
Even so I sit and howl in dust,
You sit in gold and sing;
This provides a striking contrast between their class and emotion. Howl makes it appear the maiden is unhappy, and she is sitting in dust, so she is very poor. Kate, on the other hand, is sitting in gold, only available to the wealthy, and she is singing, sybolising she is happy and content.
Althought the maiden makes out the she loved the lord for his person rather than his status and class, both come up a lot in the poem. This could show how subconciously is does matter to her and how she wants what Kate has with him but she was not strong enough to persue it.
You had the stronger wing
This metaphor links back to the dove in the second stanza, emphasising the freedom and opeace. The fact Kate was stronger means she could resist the Lord's sexual advances before marriage, where as the maiden could not.
Despite this, the Maiden believes that Kate does not love the Lord like she did.
O Cousin Kate, My love was true.
This again highlights the aspect of them being family and by using the word true we are led to assume that Kates love is not and that the Maiden feels Kate is with him for other reasons. The mataphor in the next line seconds that thought.
Your love was writ in sand.
Sand is transient, as is Kates love. This line is the past tense which could mean to show the love has already gone
from the relationship.
Although the maiden would like what Kate has got, she has a much higher moral ground, even if others do not think that of her.
If you stood where I stand,
He'd not have won me with his love.
The maiden is showing her loyalty to her family and how she cares how they are feeling and if they are hurting and would try and prevent their pain.
I would have spit into his face.
Spit is a very strong word and reflects how strongly she feels. She would have disrespected the Lord and dismissed him to save her cousin from hurt.
The beginning of the first stanza continues to be addressed to Kate, but the tone seems very smug, as if the maiden is gloating.
Yet i've a gift you have not got
And seem not like to get:
The use of the word gift shows it was given to her and that it is good. The fact Kate may not be able to get one suggests she may not be able to have children.
This seems to make the maiden feel pleased with this, challenging our earlier opinions of her values with her family.
My fair-haired son, my shame, my pride,
This stresses he is her so, they have the same fair hair and by using my several times reinforces this. The oxymoron my shame, my pride also shows this. She is shameful because he was born out of wedlock, but then she feels pride because he is hers and she could give the Lord a child.
The audience then changes again, from Kate, to her son.
Cling closer, closer yet:
Your father would give lands for one
To wear his coronet.
The maiden may be worried that the lord will try and claim his son. The maiden could also have an ulterior motive, however. She may want the Lords possessions and may use her son to get that as the Lord may be willing to give a lot to have a son to be heir to his throne.
I wish I could remember is another love poem by Christina Rossetti. It portrays regret and heartbreak experienced when a loved one is lost.
In Petrachen Sonnet form, this poem is very controlled, because of this it may be used to discuss emotions which are difficult to deal with rather than plain events. The amount of control could be how she is compensating for not being able to control other aspects of herself.
The sonnet opens with repetion.
I wish I could remember that first day,
First hour, first moment of your meeting me
Wish shows how strong the desire is to remember. Repetition of the word first takes it back to the exact instance they met, showing it was a life changing time.
We find that as much as she wants to remember, she really does not have a clue.
If bright or dim the season, it might be
Summer or winter aught I can say;
So unrecorded did it slip away,
She does not even remember what season it was, which is not something you would forget if something important happened, so when they first met it may have been insignificant at the time. The fact it slipped away unrecorded stands as evidence to how insignificant it was.
Despite how it was at the time, it was very important to her now looking back.
So blind was I to forsee,
She realises she was stupid not to see how this person would have an effect on her life and how things would change from then on.
So dull to mark the budding of my tree
That would not blossom yet for many a May.
Just as she did not realise how important their meeting would be, she also did not realise how her love would
grow. By using for many a May we are shown that it was a long time from their meeting until something happened between them.
The speaker wants and maybe even needs to remember this time, and she knows that she may have had another option from what she chose.
A day of Days! I let it come and go
As traceless as a thaw of bygone snow;
I let it reveals that it was within her power to keep it yet she did nothing about it and because she could control it that may be why she feels worse for it now. The simile As traceless as a thaw of bygone snow demonstrates how the memory has completely gone, and how she cannot even remember parts. Snow is pure white, which could represent how pure she is or their meeting was.
Throughout the sonnet the use of natural imagery is made visible. I believe this is to show how natural and pure the love was and how is was completely unforced and unrushed.
By looking back she sees their day of meeting was one of the best in her life.
It seemed to mean so little, meant so much;
If only now I could recall that touch,
The oxymoron shows that at the time it meant nothing, but in hindsight, as said bfore, it meant so much and she wants to recapture every moment, every second. She regrets not doing so very much.
We know they are not together now, but there seems to be no sign of bitterness or any hard feelings unlike Cousin Kate where the maiden seems to hold a lot of Bitterness towards the lord and Kate. As she is saying that she can not get those times back we are led to believe that the man may have passed away and that has led to her need for reminiscing.
This could be why the need to remember is so strong and why she regrets not savouring every second. The last line sums up the whole feeling of the sonnet.
First touch of hand in hand- Did one but know!
This seems very ambiguous as the first touch of hand in hand could mean a number of things. It could mean in a sexual way but I believe it is very platonic and could mean shaking hands, and that they were strangers at that special time.
The very last section portrays her annoyance with herself again by the use of the explanation mark.
Although Cousin Kate and I wish I could remember are both very different and hold a very different mood, they are both about regret and lost love.
