Explain the Biblical attitude towards love and marriage
Alex Ezrati
RS GCSE Coursework ~ Love and Marriage
"Explain the Biblical attitude towards love and marriage"
"Many waters cannot quench love,
Nor can the floods drown it.
If a man would give for love
All the wealth of his house,
It would be utterly despised." - Song of Solomon Ch.8 v.7
Both love and marriage are very detailed and discussed subjects in Christianity. Most denominations, especially Catholicism, have a number of strong opinions on the correct time and environment for marriage. Two people must be in Love, and they also must be seen to be in Love before God. A marriage is God's joining of two people, and an understanding that those two people shall spend the rest of their lives in Love together. The bible separates Love into four different forms; Eros, Agape, Philia and Storge. These 4 types of Love are not sparate categories. It must be stressed that the word "Love" is a combination of all these different factors.
Eros
Eros is sexual love. This is the love felt between couples, and s the type that Christianity has the most to say about. Following are some references and quotes referring to Eros.
2 Samuel Ch.13 v.14-15 ~ "However, he would not heed her voice; and being stronger than she, he forced her and lay with her. Then Amnon hated her exceedingly, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her."
Song of Solomon Ch.4 v.9-10 ~ "You have ravished my heart, my sister, my spouse..."
The quote from 2 Samuel is about a man, Amnon, who lusted after his own sister. When she refused to sleep with him, he raped her and then abandoned her. The long sonnet from Song of Solomon is a husband praising his bride. In the chosen passage, he continually refers to his bride as 'sister', which shrouds the form of Love in ambiguity, whether Eros or Philia.
Agape
Agape is spiritual Love. It is shared between worshippers, and between man and God. Agape can also be the Love between, say, a disabled person and charity worker. There are many references to Agape in the bible, many of them shown by Jesus.
John Ch.13 v.34-35 ~ "...love one another, as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."
John Ch.3 v.16 ~ "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten ...
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Agape
Agape is spiritual Love. It is shared between worshippers, and between man and God. Agape can also be the Love between, say, a disabled person and charity worker. There are many references to Agape in the bible, many of them shown by Jesus.
John Ch.13 v.34-35 ~ "...love one another, as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."
John Ch.3 v.16 ~ "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have everlasting life."
Ephesians Ch.17-19 ~ "..Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height..."
The first passage is Jesus talking to his new disciples. He reminds them that they must form a strong bond and love each other like brothers if they are to love him and follow him. The second refers to the necessity to love God, as he put the utmost Love into creating the world. The passage from Ephesians tells us how Christ is in all of us, acting as the Lord's servant and Son, to look over us and keep out hearts filled with faith and Love.
Philia
Philia is probably the most general kind of Love. Love between friends. This means companionship, but also trust and understanding. The bond between friends is in some ways simpler than that between lovers. You should treat others as you would want to be treated yourself.
Hebrews Ch.13 v.1-2 ~ "Let brotherly love continue. Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels."
Matthew Ch.5 v.42 ~ "Give to him who asks you, and from him who wants to borrow from you do not turn away."
The excerpt from Hebrews uses the word 'brotherly' as a love between companions, and it talks about always being nice to others, because there may be more in it than you expect. The passage from Matthew is about sharing with others, and states that you should always share your belongings with others in need.
Storge
Storge is Love between family. This is a fairly common form of Love, and the bible has a lot to say about it. Storge focuses a lot on brotherly and sisterly protection and family loyalty.
Ephesians Ch.6 v.1-3 ~ "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. "Honor your father and mother," which is the first commandment with promise: "that it may be will with you and you may live long on the earth."
This passage from Ephesians tells all children to honor and obey their parents, as instructed in the Ten Commandments.
Marriage
The bible has many references on the rights and wrongs of marriage. The Church is very strict in many cases, and confines marriage to only the most secure and law-abiding situations. Different denominations have different views on marriage, and these different views are outlines in various books of the bible. Marriage is the only place for a sexual relationship, and the only way that two people can have a family, under the eyes of God.
Hebrews Ch.13 v.4 ~ "Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge."
Proverbs Ch.5 v.18-20 ~ "Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth. As a loving deer and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times; and always be enraptured with her love. For why should you, my son, be enraptured by an immoral woman, and be embraced in the arms of a seductress?"
These two extracts refer to adultery. Both of them state that there is nothing wrong with making love in marriage, and that the Love of your spouse will always keep you 'enraptured' and happy, but you should never stray from this and sleep with another woman, as the immoral woman's "feet lead down to Sheol".
Deuteronomy Ch.21 v.15-16 ~ "If a man has two wives, one loved and the other unloved, and they have borne him children, both the loved and the unloved, and if the firstborn son is of her who is unloved, then it shall be, on the day he bequeaths his possessions to his sons, that he must not bestow firstborn status on the son of the loved wife in preference to the son of the unloved, who is truly the firstborn."
This is a rather complicated passage talking about the rights of firstborn children. It states that familial law and rights of the firstborn come before personal love to others. Besides, it is a sin to have two wives in the first place.
Deuteronomy Ch.25 v.5-6 ~ "If brothers dwell together, and one of them dies and has no son, the widow of the dead man shall not be married to a stranger outside the family; her husband's brother shall go in to her, take her as his wife, and perform the duty of a husband's brother to her. And it shall be that the firstborn son which she bears will succeed to the name of his dead brother, that his name may not be blotted out of Israel."
This passage discusses familial rights in marriage and childbearing. Note that it says "If brothers dwell together". Therefore this law may not apply if brothers are not living in the same household. One should also take particular note of the fact that the firstborn son is named after the dead brother, as a form of memorial.
Ephesians Ch.6 v.22-23 ~ "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the Church; and He is the Saviour of the body."
Ephesians Ch.6 v.25+28 ~ "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the Church and gave Himself for it......So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself."
These two extracts from Ephesians talk about roles in a marriage, and showing Love and respect as Jesus did. One of the strongest bonds is between a man and his wife, as is the bond between Christ and the Church. A wife must submit to her husband, but that husband must treat his wife with the utmost Love and respect.
