Explore and evaluate the ways in which Orwell presents and structures Old Majors

Review of essay

Rating: 4 star(s)

Response to the question

The candidate here retains an excellent focus on the question. Everything they say in directly in line with what the question asks, and their is no ineffectual digression from the topic of Old Major's speech. It is a joy to see such a focused analysis on such a relatively small topic given the contents of the book, but where lesser ability candidates might stray far from the given extract to try and analyse some vague area of the book that is not required, this candidate realises that their is plenty of analytical merit available, implicitly hidden within Old Major's speech because, as the candidate rightly points out, Orwell mimics a lot of what is to come in Old Major's speech.

Level of analysis

The Level of Analysis is very good, and the structure of this essay helps. It is not overly systematic, though clearly has a structure that it follows and allows the reader to follow also, with optimum ease. All points made are clear and relevant, though some lack the depth required to achieve much higher than a strong B grade for GCSE. For example, the candidate makes two analytical points that boil down to "creating sympathy [paraphrased]". Whilst these points are valid, the second one about emotive language does not simply "make the reader sympathise", but empathise and draws them in through the use of powerful, hard-hitting language. It shows Old Major is passionate about what he is saying and this passion rubs off on the animals. Other than that, the analysis is sound.

Quality of writing

The Quality of Written Communication (QWC) is fine. There are a few mishaps and spelling errors which could easily be rectified had the candidate spell-checked and proof-read their answer before closing the exam booklet/submitting their final coursework draft. I would argue that the name of Old Major must not be written as "old Major" because capitals letters are always used for names and titles so again, small things that area easily sorted, but can lower the QWC marks if left alone.