Mr Bennet tries to avoid all this business by flattering his wife. “For as you are as handsome as any of them, Mr Bingley might like you the best of the party.” We deduce that Mr and Mrs Bennets marriage was initially based upon physical attraction but this quickly faded and is shown in the way Mr Bennet treats his wife. The moral is that it is important to marry for love rather than appearances in order for a successful and long-lasting relationship.
“My dear you flatter me. I certainly have had my share of beauty, but I do not pretend to be anything extraordinary now.”
Mr and Mrs Bennets relationship can be seen as unsuccessful because they don’t connect and don’t share any common interest. He’s humorous, easygoing and she’s more serious and concerned with wealth, status and marriage. You need love and common interest to make it work.
Mrs Bennet is determined on getting her husband to visit Mr Bingley along with their daughters in the hope they will fall in love and get married. “But it is very likely that he may fall in love with one of them.” She is in a hurry and very impatient because of other competition. Everyone wants the same thing; a wealthy man with high connections and Mr Bingley has been introduced as the new potential suitor.
“Sir William and Lady Lucas are determined to go, merely on that account, for in general you know they visit no new comers. Indeed you must go, for it will be impossible for us to visit him if you do not.” Mrs Bennet has seriously worried herself with the competition that her daughters may face. Mr Bennet tries to calm her by reassuring her he will go and visit Bingley. He also lets her know he is very happy for one of his daughters to get married to Mr Bingley. “My hearty consent to his marrying which ever he chuses of the girls.” Mr Bennet favours Elizabeth and dearly cares for her. He refers to her as “My little Lizzy” this indicates his affection for her. He favours her above the rest because she’s witty, sensible and pretty. But Mrs Bennet favours Jane and is almost offended that he could say such a thing. “I desire you will do no such thing Lizzy is not a bit better than the others; and I am sure she is not half so handsome as Jane. Mrs Bennet appears to be jealous of the attention Elizabeth receives from Mr Bennet. He tries to justify himself and give reason why he adores her so much “They have none of them much to recommend them, they are all silly and ignorant like other girls; but Lizzy has something more of quickness than her sisters.” So he likes the way Elizabeth is able to stand up for her-self and speak her mind.
I’m not debating the fact that Mrs Bennet doesn’t love Elizabeth, but she doesn’t hold the same amount of affection for her as Mr Bennet does. “Mr Bennet how can you abuse your children in such a way? You take delight in vexing me. You have no compassion on my poor nerves.” She is always playing on her nerves but we know that she does this when she is discontented to make people have sympathy for her. Again Mr Bennet mocks his wife which further projects their tired relationship. “You mistake me dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. They are old friends of mine; I have heard you mention them with consideration these twenty years at least.” The way he calls her “Dear” is very ironic because it makes out as if he’s concerned with what she has to say and that they have a sweet relationship when in actual fact he’s very negligent towards her. Jane Austin starts the novel with an unsuccessful marriage to really emphasize the happy ending and to distinguish between both a good marriage and a bad one. Starting with such an unsuccessful marriage gives us an insight into what Jane Austin as a women believed; that a successful marriage is about love, respect and common interest not wealth and status.
Mr Bennet feels that sarcasm is the only way to communicate with his wife. They have been together for 23 years and she still doesn’t understand his character. But that is their own fault as they married solely for physical attraction without knowing one another. Whereas Mrs Bennet is far easier to understand and there is nothing more important to her than getting her daughters married; married to someone of great fortune. “The business of her life was go get her daughters married; its solace was visiting and news.” So the only way she could achieve this is to become acquainted with all the wealthy, high-class gentlemen.
Chapter Nineteen
Mr Collins is planning on proposing to Elizabeth. He’s quite nervous about asking for Mrs Bennets Consent but when he does Mrs Bennet answers for Elizabeth, “Oh dear!-yes-certainly-I am sure Lizzy will be very happy-I am sure she can have no objection” Mrs Bennet is really excited for her daughter. It is made clear from previous chapters that Mr Collins is disliked by all of the sisters and found to be very irritating. Elizabeth does not like Mr Collins and nor is she prepared to marry him. She knows what he’s going to say so she tries to leave the room. “Dear Ma’am, do not go-I beg you will not go-Mr Collins must excuse me-he can have nothing to say to me that anybody need not hear. I am going away myself.” Mrs Bennet is very pushy and persuasive. “No, no, nonsense, Lizzy; I desire you will stay where you are.” Elizabeth felt trapped because she couldn’t disobey her mother and she’s to mature to run away from the situation. The proposal was very comical and Mr Collins gave many reasons for wanting to marry her but none of them involved love. He repeatedly mentions himself. There is a lot of dramatic irony during the proposal as Mr Collins thinks Elizabeth is simply being modest when she refuses his proposal when actually she really doesn’t want to be there. “Your modesty, so far from doing you any other perfections” so instead of putting him off he seems even more keen on her now. It was considered the appropriate sort of behaviour for women to be modest and play hard to get so they didn’t look in desperate want of a man.
“…and moreover for coming into Hertfordshire with the design of selecting a wife.” The only reason he came is to find a suitable wife. He doesn’t mention any feelings of love he has for her as a person, just the fact he needs a wife. His reasons are very self centred, he feels it would “Set a good example of matrimony in his parish” he thinks it will “Add greatly to his happiness” so he isn’t even considering her happiness. He’s more bothered about his reputation and his happiness that he doesn’t stop to think about Elizabeth or what she wants from life. Elizabeth did not want to marry him but because he kept on going on and on she had to interrupt him because she wasn’t interested. “You are to hasty, sir; she cried. You forget that I have made no answer. Let me do it without farther loss of time”
“I am very sensible of the honour of your proposals, but it is impossible for me to do otherwise than decline them” she is blatantly turning him down but Mr Collins cant take the rejection and still insists on her being modest. “It is usual of young ladies to reject the addresses of the man whom they secretly mean to accept.” He keeps on deluding himself and just wont take no for an answer. Elizabeth is astonished that he can’t accept it. “Upon my word sir, your hope is rather an extraordinary one after my declaration” she tells his straight that she desires to marry for love and happiness and that by marrying him she would have neither. “Daring to risk their happiness.” Mr Collins is trying to sweet-talk her persuade her into marrying. Elizabeth is trying to convince him that she cannot make him happy and that he is wasting his time. “I wish you very happy and very rich, and by refusing your hand, do all in my power to prevent you being otherwise.” Despite all Elizabeth has said he still won’t give up and still thinks he has a chance. He continues to bombard her with further reasons why she should marry him. In contrast she speaks plainly and truthfully, he has convinced himself that Elizabeth is in love with him and by refusing his proposal will make him love her even more “I shall chuse to attribute it to your wish of increasing my love by suspense.” Mr Collins later marries Charlotte simply for practical reasons and she marries him because she is worried of becoming an old maid and her lack of fortune. Here is another unsuited marriage created.
Chapter Thirty-four
At first, Elizabeth and Darcy do not understand one another. Darcy is wealthy but the Bennets are of a lower social class, this instantly introduces feelings of pride and prejudice. Mr Darcy finds the proposal exceedingly hard as he knows Elizabeth’s current opinion of him but because he is in love he expresses his feelings towards her. It is made apparent that Elizabeth thinks very little of Mr Darcy as she answers him with “Cold civility” Mr Darcy is very anxious and his actions reflect this. “He sat down for a few moments, and then getting up walked about the room” he uses short sentences which show us how he struggles to declare his love for her. “Elizabeth’s astonishment was beyond expression” its understandable that she would be shocked because of the way Mr Darcy is and he had never before given any indication what so ever that he showed the slightest bit of interest, so for Mr Darcy to have an emotional outburst like that is highly surprising. Darcy is a caring person but finds it difficult to express his emotions because of his background. His pride gets in the way. Because he is of a higher class than Elizabeth he feels repentant proposing to her and he makes reference to her inferior connections; which angers her and instead of refusing his proposal with compassion and consideration she is harsh and uncivil. Darcy pretends as if he is not moved or bothered by her refusal when in-fact he is but he doesn’t want to lose face so he remains calm and normal. “I am thus rejected, but it is of small importance.” Elizabeth makes it clear that she will not marry anyone she does not respect and because of all the stories Mr Wickham has told her she has already made up her mind about Darcy. She penetrates her prejudice towards him without knowing the truth but yet she continues to go on about how unpleasant Mr Darcy really is. Darcy doesn’t want to argue with her because he knows he’s right and he knows he can’t change her mind. “And this cried Mr Darcy, as he walked with quick steps across the room, is your opinion of me! This is the estimation in which you hold me! I thank you for explaining it so fully.” He is seriously affected by what Elizabeth has said otherwise he wouldn’t react like that. Darcy tries to get back at her for hurting his feelings by speaking down to her and making her feel inferior to him. Elizabeth also tires to hide her feelings even though she had been deeply hurt. She begins to speak her mind and is very unpleasant towards Darcy despite his feeling and all he had said. “And I had not known you a month before I felt that you were that last man in the world whom I could ever be prevailed to marry” the point being she didn’t know him so she has no right to say such things. Darcy is truly upset and because he loves Elizabeth so much he can’t bare to hear her say such hurtful things. “You have said quite enough, madam. I perfectly comprehend your feelings, and have now only to be ashamed of what my own have been.” Despite all that has happened he still cares enough to wish her all the best. “Forgive me for having taken up so much of your time, and accept my best wishes for your health and happiness.” At this point Elizabeth is really upset “The tumult of her mind was now painfully great.” She feels some what distressed about the whole situation but doesn’t let it over burden her because of what she thinks Darcy supposedly done i.e. parted Jane and Bingley. We know that Mr Darcy’s proposal is genuine and based on true love not just physical attraction or wealth which most people were concerned with.
Chapter Fifty-eight
Because Elizabeth now knew that Darcy had been helping her all along and that he wasn’t the person she thought he was her opinion of him had changed for the better. When in Mr Darcy’s company Elizabeth is more feminine and admits to her faults rather than arguing against them. “I’m a very selfish creature, and for the sake of giving relief to my own feelings care not how much I may be wounding yours.” She is trying to apologise for all the heartache she caused him. Darcy didn’t want Elizabeth to know what he had done to help because he’s modest and embarrassed but he is glad that she does know, otherwise her opinion may have never changed. “I am sorry, exceedingly sorry, replied Mr Darcy in a tone of surprise and emotion that you have ever been informed of what may, in a mistaken light, have given you uneasiness.” Elizabeth finally accepts Darcy and thinks of him as a decent human and not that monster she thought he was. “Let me thank-you again…for that generous compassion.” Again Mr Darcy expressed his love for Elizabeth but in a more sensitive and respectable manner. Elizabeth finds it difficult to speak which doesn’t happen often because of her strong opinionated character. “Elizabeth was too much embarrassed to say a word” She accepts Darcy’s proposal and both of them are in love. “He told her of feelings, which in proving of what importance she was to him, made his affection every moment more valuable.” We assume that Elizabeth and Darcy will be happy because they have based their relationship on love and respect. Darcy’s pride and Elizabeth’s prejudice has been removed now that everything is out in the open and the truth is known. Darcy explained his actions and Elizabeth now understood him.
This is Jane Austen’s portrayal of the ideal marriage.
Conclusion
Jane Austen has created a variety of relationships so show us that it is important to marry for love, respect and common interest. Beauty fades so don’t go for physical attractions and money is not everything, although it is important it is not necessary. Darcy and Elizabeth, Jane and Bingley will be happy together because they love each other and that’s enough for them but people like Mr Bennet and Mrs Bennet will never be happy because they don’t know each other and neither one of them makes an effort to make it work. Jane Austin was trying to get the point across that things change. Not everything starts of perfect but with a bit of love you can get there in the end and things will be ideal.
