I suppose like most people you go from past experiences. I’d previously had a very slow starting and eventual twenty seven-hour labour. So feeling those familiar twinges didn’t panic me, I would say I felt a sense of relief at this point. However, I was sure this was it.
I decided to call Pam. Pam is my sister - in – law who is married to my older brother Gavin. Since we both have girls of the same age we have become close friends and rely on each other very much. I had arranged with Pam to look after Ella whilst I was in hospital having this baby, so I placed a telephone call to let her know labour had started and that I suspected things would really get going during the evening or maybe later into the night. Pam was extremely excited, she insisted on keeping me company through the course of the day and within ten minutes she had arrived at my door. “Just in case” as she happily put it.
The day passed with ease. Mark had called me to see how I was. He had heard me over the course of that week announcing I was in labour, so when I said it again I didn’t get much of a reaction.
Pam and I decided to lunch at the local café, I knew that I’d need plenty of energy, so I happily ordered and tucked into a full all day English breakfast! Following my big breakfast I had felt just a few more twinges and some tightening of the belly, nothing to alarm me, I felt quite relaxed and adamant things would get moving during the night. It was good having Pam’s company for the day, she distracted me from the fearful thoughts that were trying to creep in.
She finally left my side as Mark arrived home with Ella. After hearing about Ella’s day I decided to have a bath and get organised. I didn’t want to be fiddling about out in the night with me packing. I ran a bath and added a few drops of lavender oil I’d bought especially for this occasion; hopefully to help me relax. I only managed to get half way through washing my hair when WHAM! The first real contraction arrived with venom; this ignited memories of fear and pain that had diluted over time. I also remember thinking at this point how efficiently the lavender oil had worked!
“Shit”! My first word was shouted with aggression. Wham! Another and so soon I thought. I was bewildered. The strength and frequency distorted my capacity to think.
Bewildered is a word I’d previously used to describe how I felt when having Ella. While in pain you feel no self-control. Simple things like rinsing my hair and climbing from the bath were to complex for me. You need someone to tell you what to do. I shouted for Mark to help me - he didn’t arrive. I screamed for Mark to help me – this time he arrived and armed with the telephone, he knew from the noise things had heated up. After assisting me he telephoned Pam. “We’re just in the middle of tea, I’ll get Jayde to bed and be over in half an hour” she told Mark who repeated this to me. “No, tell her to come NOW!” I’d insisted. “She’s on her way” he replied, looking relieved that he didn’t have to deal with me on his own for much longer.
I also felt a little calmer I needed Pam to finish my packing, I couldn’t have done anything in this intense pain. The calm didn’t last, the pains were excruciating I couldn’t even stand during them. I’d had a twenty-hour gradual build up with Ella; these were coming thick and fast and again I’ll use the word bewildered to describe how I was feeling.
Thankfully Pam arrived and swiftly finished my packing, she then took Ella into the lounge to distract her from disturbance going on upstairs. I didn’t want her seeing me this way she would have been petrified. Once I was ready to leave for the hospital I kissed Ella good-bye and gave her a big squeeze. I felt very emotional at this point and tears sprang to me eyes. She would no longer be my little baby, my only child. She would have to share her mummy and daddy from now on. These thoughts hit me particularly hard. However, I was soon distracted as I was engulfed again in the next wave of pain.
Poor Mark, he looked so uncomfortable. He just didn’t know what to do with me. I think he’d realised this labour was going to be much different than last time. He raced me to the hospital, which was only a short distance away from our house.
Finally making it to the comfort of a bed and after an initial examination by the Midwife in charge, I was disappointed to learn I was only three centimetres dilated. I’d thought I would have been further along considering the amount of pain I felt. I had to get to ten centimetres and the books I’d read say it takes one hour per centimetre. I felt upset I just wanted to cry. The fears of carrying on like this for the next few hours; well I just didn’t know what to do with myself.
As the next contraction took hold and I began to lose control completely. The pain seared through me like nothing I had felt before. With it came I experienced a pop that I instantly recognised to be my waters breaking and with that the floodgates opened!
The midwife who I’d come to know as Eileen checked me again and as she did this she turned and pressed an alarm button. “You are fully dilated Jane, I can see your baby’s head” she said with surprise. I looked at Mark. “I need an epidural before I do this” I bellowed. Too late for that now” dismissed Eileen as another midwife rushed into the room
I was still in the examination room; we hadn’t managed to go through to the delivery room. In fact I still had my clothes on, well the top half anyway. No nicely decorated room playing relaxing music and no freshly prepared nightie. This was not how I’d imagined it would be second time around.
The pains were intensifying with each contraction; they were coming without any respite. The pressure from the baby’s head bearing down was presenting further problems for me. I felt sick with the pain. I thought I was going to die. “Now push Jane. Your baby is showing signs of distress, we need to get it out” prompted Eileen. “No way, I’m not pushing” I responded through gritted teeth.
“Push with the pain, push the pain away” encouraged the second Midwife. “Get pushing” was the impatient retort from my husband.
Oh yes, my husband Mark! He had been stood virtually to the back of me so it was easy to forget he was there. With that I grabbed his shirt collar and found the resolve to push. I continued to follow the instructions of the Midwife and within minutes my baby’s head finally entered the world. “Now feel your baby” said Eileen as she directed my hand to this gooey thing between my legs. “Now give me one last push” was her final instruction.
As I did this, I used my hands to ease the baby from inside me onto my stomach and into my arms. I felt no pain as I did this; it was an amazing feeling. A memory I will forever carry with me.
Mark and I marvelled over our baby; its face just melted my heart. “Another girl” I announced, she looked so like Ella. Then together we noticed the extra bits and both laughed and announced “It’s a boy”. We were overjoyed. We had one of each. I remember feeling so lucky.
As our baby was being weighed and dressed, Mark and I talked about names. We finally agreed on the name Daniel James. We then talked through the whole experience and how this time things had happened so quickly. In less than two hours from me entering the bath at home Daniel had arrived in exam room one, weighing seven pound five ounces.
He looked gorgeous. He’d been washed and dressed in his white outfit bought for his new arrival. The flash from Mark’s camera then took over.
Later tucked up in bed on the maternity ward with my little boy happily feeding from my breast, I smiled to myself happy with the thoughts of my family. I also made a mental note that this would be the last time I would do this.