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Half Brothers.

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Half Brothers My poor husband has passed from me. I am in great sadness and in a state of terrible worry and mourning. We had been married for less than 3 years and it has come to an abrupt end. It should not have been like this but life had rapidly ground him away after debt, worry, sickness and increasing problems. Now it has all been left on my shoulders with a little child only just able to walk and another child coming, the farm is in as state of bankruptcy with no money to buy new livestock or pay all the bills. I was very young when we first fell in love but that never mattered for we were right for each other. Even so I find I cannot speak of him. ...read more.


I do not understand myself. I kiss this child and whisper goodbye but I feel nothing. I will soon bear another child. But what if I cannot feel love for him, still in pain from grieving? I feel I cannot survive any more pain; there has been so much suffering already. The pains of birth are beginning and I must resolve to find my capacity for loving. My baby is born. A little boy that I have named Gregory. Thank God, for the birth was easy and along with it came the gift of tears. All the feelings trapped inside for too long are flooding my face with liquid grief. And now I feel I shall never be able to breathe without sobbing ever again. I can at least reassure Fanny that I am getting better. ...read more.


I cannot confess to any feelings of love nor desire but he is a man I can respect and principle which I can admire. He has asked me to be his wife and I have agreed. Perhaps I am being foolish to settle for marriage to a man I cannot love but it may solve so many problems. My sight is now poor and I will not have to support myself any longer. His well-stocked house is close to here so I can continue to see Fanny. Most importantly he tells me he will take good charge of Gregory, which he will want for nothing in the way of keep or education. Every day I love Gregory more and my decision to wed William is the correct one as Gregory must be freed from this daily grind of near destitution. I can only pray that with time I may feel something approaching love for William but in my heart I never will. 1st Diary Entry Richard Slade 11JDB ...read more.

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