Hamlet's Diary

I wonder what is gone wrong with mother, I'd like to give her a good shake and tell her to come back to her senses and stop doing whatever she's doing. It sounds to me as if my mother does not care about me and my late father any more because she has recently told me to stop mourning and stop wearing black clothes which I cannot do because I still cannot believe that my father has left me and gone forever. I am sure there must be something wrong that Claudius is marrying his brother's widow. I think I need to keep an eye on Claudius and see what he is up to.

No one cares about me and my emotions apart from Horatio, he is more like a brother to me than a best friend. He is the only one who understands my sorrow and grief. He came to meet me today from Wittenberg. I felt so glad when I met him because now I know that I have got someone who can share my pain with me. I asked him what he is doing in Denmark and he replied that he came to see my father's funeral but I said I think it was to see my mother's wedding, I said this because I wanted to know if Horatio, like myself, thinks that having a funeral and a wedding so close together doesn't seem sense at all. As Horatio said "Indeed, my lord, it followed hard upon" I believe this means he agrees that the wedding certainly came very quickly after the funeral.

While I was talking to Horatio I could feel there is something wrong with him, maybe he was trying to tell me something which he could not say. Then he said to me that he saw my father yesterday, I was amazed as anyone would be because whatever Horatio was saying did not made any sense. I asked him to tell me straightaway whatever he was trying to say because I was eager and keen to know that what is going on. Horatio then explained that yesterday night Marcellus and Barnardo were on the watch outside the castle and they called Horatio there because they believe that they saw an indistinct figure and think it's a ghost. When Barnardo was persuading Horatio that they really saw a ghost, the same moment the ghost appeared. Horatio said it was the ghost of my late father King Hamlet because it looked exactly like him. It was a shock effect for Horatio because he did not believed in the existence of ghosts. He even tried to speak to the ghost because the ghost did not replied. I have decided that I will be on the watch tonight outside the castle. I am absolutely stunned and I have decided that I will go to see the ghost next day between eleven and twelve at night.

9th December 1600

Today was the day which was full of surprises for me. I have found out those concealed facts which I had never imagined even in my dreams. Firstly when I saw my father's ghost I was not very shocked as I was yesterday when Horatio told me that he saw my father's spirit because I had this inner feeling that there must be some reason of the arrival of my father's ghost. When I tried to speak to my father's ghost he said to pay attention on whatever he was going to say. Then the ghost made me more comfortable by saying that he really is my father's spirit and he came because he has a very important message to tell me. He told me seek revenge from Claudius because he is the only one who killed my father by pouring poison into his ear when he was sleeping in the garden. The minute he told me that his death was not caused by a natural cause but his own brother Claudius murdered him, my mind stopped working I felt like killing that swine Claudius straight away then I thought about my mother who is now married to her own husband's murderer! Is my mother blind to these intentions? Is it true, that my mother and Claudius had relations before my father's death? I hate Claudius he has ruined my life. He has taken my mother away from me. I am now mad, for that will be the explanation which people will say in my defence. I will play insane, for people will expect such intentions of my revenge. My father's murder has now brought me to an unconscious state. I have only told Horatio that I am now going to act as mad because I completely trust him that he will not tell anybody. Revenge has to be wisely thought out. I will reveal Claudius, and kill him at the right time. I swear on my father's grave, I shall heed my father's commands.