Our Love now
Martyn Lowery
Introduction
The poem takes the form of a dialogue or conversation between a man and a woman about the present state of their love. You will see, when you first read the poem, that the man has a rather more hopeful attitude towards their relationship, looking to the future to find healing for whatever has happened, whilst the woman is less hopeful, focusing on the now, the present, and taking a less optimistic view of the future.
I would like to suggest that you view this as a poem of persuasion, and that you can later compare it with 'To His Coy Mistress' (Marvell) and 'i wanna be yours' (Clarke).
The speaker
The voice is that of the first person speaker, 'I', a man, who first reports what he said during a discussion on the state of the love relationship and then recounts what the woman, his lover, says to him in reply.
Please note that I have said a number of things about this speaker in the section called 'The male voice', to be considered when you have studied the poem.
Structure
You will see that the structure is that of 6 - line stanzas, with the exception of the final stanza said by the man and by the woman. The poem is in free verse, so there is no rhyme scheme and no set rhythm.
The first line of each stanza is either 'I said' or 'she said'. This helps to define the form of the poem and to show which voice is speaking.
The form
The poem is in the form of a dialogue, where the man's statements and the woman's answers are, in your anthology, placed side by side.
You will also see that a definite form is created in that the male speaker introduces each of his arguments with an instructional word like 'observe', 'remember' or 'listen', while the woman shapes all her counter arguments mostly from the viewpoint of 'although'.
Language and point of view
I want to discuss language and point of view together in this poem, as they provide an interesting point of reference. The language itself is that of ordinary speech, with occasional formal usage like 'observe', which we would probably not use if we were pointing something out to a person who was close to us. But the poem is full of figurative speech in the form of metaphors, similes and images that tell us something about the topic of this dialogue or conversation.
It is important to realise that, as the man reports the dialogue and seems to have initiated it in their interchange, it is he who commands the language, and the point of view. It is the man who provides the first use of metaphor, ensuring that the woman has to counter him in like terms. The fact that he does not answer her, but simply provides another metaphor, tells us that he is unwilling to modify his point of view. You will see that, even at the end of the dialogue (line 25 in the man's speech), he retains his viewpoint unchanged. The woman has the last word, but in terms of language, she is forced to express it in his metaphors.
The topic of the dialogue
Something has happened between these two lovers that suggests a crisis in the relationship. It is described in line 25 as a 'breach', meaning a gap or a break. We could venture the idea that the man's attitude is that things will right themselves in the end. The woman seems to have received the major hurt, as she can see no hope of thing returning to their former state. We do not know what happened. The poem concentrates on how their love will or will not survive it.
Stanzas 1 and 5
The speaker starts with a strangely formal word, 'observe'. The tone is rather patronising, as though he is in control and is almost instructing her.
A cut
He uses the metaphor of a 'wound' in line 1, and is convinced that the wound will heal in time. You have all seen some sort of wound, however small or large, and know that the skin does indeed knit over a 'cut' (line 5). He says in line 4 that the skin becomes whole, so he is entirely hopeful about a physical healing. Note that a cut causes a sharp pain and bleeds.
He himself applies the metaphor to the relationship, demonstrating its point:
...and such
is our relationship.
Think about the metaphor and briefly state what it is saying about the relationship.
She replies
Now look at her reply in lines 26-31, to see how she is forced to respond in his terms, the metaphor of the wound. She has to counter his arguments in this way throughout the poem instead of being allowed to use her own words.
In line 27, she admits that the wound heals, and appears to be cured. But the admission is introduced by 'although', which we know will place some sort of condition on the healing. While the man sees the skin becoming whole (line 4), she sees a scar (line 29). He spoke of a cut mending in line 5, implying that all will be forgotten, but she predicts a scar, 'a permanent reminder' (line 30). Her comment on that is 'Such is our love now'. Does she mean now, at this moment, or is she commenting on 'now' meaning from this time on? I suspect it is the latter, as at the end of the poem she sees no hope.
Stanza 2 and 6
In line 8, the man introduces his next argument, again with the rather unemotional command 'observe'.
The scald and the scab
This time he points to the hurt in the metaphor of the 'scab of the scald', which is usually a wound from some boiling liquid. The scab is the unattractive mark of healing on the skin. But a scald is an immensely painful, hot, burning sensation. His reasoning depends on the fact that the mark can be hidden and will eventually disappear. Again, he applies the metaphor to their relationship, this time calling it love. In stanza 1 it remained a relationship.
Now look at what you think the metaphor says about the state of their love, and work out how it applies.
Notice how he repeats the phrase about love in line 12:
Such is our love, such is our love.
The effect of this is to make him sound insistent and emphatic. It is part of his persuasive technique. The woman says the phrase once only after each of her stanzas, and he cleverly picks it up, emphasising it to make her feel that he really does love her.
She replies
The woman's reply takes up the metaphor of the scald or burn. In lines 33-34, she admits that the wound will 'no longer sting' and that they might forget its presence. But, in lines 35-36, she says that
the skin remains bleached
and a numbness prevails.
Bleached skin has no colour, and the fact that it is numb suggests that the nerves have been damaged. This means the permanent loss of feeling in that area.
After this reply, she repeats 'Such is our love now'. Try to express what the state of their love is now in terms of her reply to the metaphor.
Further, their love now is what she is really concerned with. It is represented by the title, so that is what we must think about. I think 'now' implies, not just this very moment, but for good. As far as she is concerned, there will be no change.
Stanzas 3 and 7
The speaker starts his new argument from the same superior stance, saying, 'remember...', telling her something that she should know.
A haircut
This time, his metaphor is cutting hair. Lines 14-17 describe how the woman feels different when she has cut her hair, but it grows again and she is the same as before. This is a more gentle metaphor than the two previous ones, but the principle behind it is the same. According to the man's arguments, everything grows or grows over. In line 15, the speaker points out that a haircut makes the woman feel 'different' or 'incomplete', as though hair of a certain length has to do with her sense of well being. What he is saying is that she should realise that things will come back to their usual state.
Instead of 'love' or the 'relationship', the speaker ends this time with the mention of their 'beauty together'. What do you think he means by this?
Now think about how the metaphor of the haircut can be applied to what he is saying about their love.
She replies
As with all his metaphors, she admits that there is some superficial truth in them. However, this time, the hair, from her point of view, is not restored for some time, Hair grows slowly, giving time for changes in style and ending with another different one.
What is she saying about their love?
Her conclusions are a comment on the man's certainty that everything can be restored. Even though he is dictating the language of their exchange, and creating the metaphors, which limits her in her expression, (actually he is denying her the right to her own expression), she manoeuvres her way using his metaphors, showing their lack of credibility.
Stanzas 4 and 8
Read lines 19-25.
The raging storm
The man's final metaphor is the 'raging storm'. He still takes a dominant point of view, telling her to 'listen' to its raging and how it damages the trees outside, always subtly suggesting to her that she is wrong. You can see how he assumes the same viewpoint, assuring her that, even though the storm is frightening, it will be gone and lost to memory.
The breach
In this final stanza, he refers more pointedly and with more honesty to what has happened than he has done before. Previously he has referred to the 'relationship', which is slightly distant, then to their 'love', which is more honest, and then to their 'beauty together', which we do not quite trust, because he seems to be glossing over the ugliness of what has happened. In referring to the 'breach' in line 25, he comes the closest to admitting what has gone wrong. A breach is a break or a gap, which can indeed be mended. It is only when we read what the woman replies that we realise that he has tried to manipulate her with language to persuade her to continue.
Now read stanza 8, lines 44-50.
She replies
Even though the woman has been limited by the speaker's metaphors, she finds a way of stating that their love has gone. Again she starts with 'although' and has to use defensive language to reply. Still, she is able to speak the truth. Her use of 'although' and then 'after' in line 39 means taking his metaphor and admitting that what he says could be true of the metaphor itself, but she always moves to a point where she cannot apply the metaphor to their love. She takes it each time and manoeuvres within it to show her own viewpoint.
Read lines 44-50.
Look at what she says about the storm. Certainly it passes. But unlike the man, she sees that it will leave irreparable damage behind. Her argument culminates in the metaphor of the tree, 'forever dead' after the storm. This is her own metaphor.
The dead tree
Why does she think of a tree?
Perhaps it is the most significant object on the landscape and was struck during the storm. Perhaps it is the symbol of shade and peacefulness. Perhaps it was something that seemed solid and indestructible. But the point is, it has died.
Obviously, she means that their love is dead. She has the final word, even though he has dictated the exchange.
Throughout the poem, the speaker seems as though he is brushing aside or ignoring the real state of their relationship, while the woman has made it clear that the damage is irreparable. It is only at the very end that she makes the statement about the tree being 'forever dead'. So 'our love now' is a dead love.
The manipulation of language
Now that you have studied the poem and looked at all the metaphors, you will have realised that the man is trying to get the woman to agree with him and to see the relationship the way he does. This leads us look at how he manipulates language for his own ends. He intends to persuade her that their breach can be mended and they can continue.
To this end he admits nothing that suggests that this is a real or final crisis, but relentlessly presents her with a flow of argument that gives her no chance to be heard.
Look at how he chooses words that have the connotations of healing or restoration.
'heals', 'knits', 'becomes whole', 'will mend' (lines 1-6)
'can be hidden', 'will disappear' (lines 7-12)
'grows', 'always the same' (lines 13-18)
'will soon be gone', 'will forget' (lines 19-25)
The man also chooses to argue in the present tense, thereby admitting nothing of the past and what must have happened. He uses future tense verbs as well, to show her that everything will mend between them.
We can also see now that the reason he uses commands like 'observe', 'remember' and 'listen' is that he wishes to remain dominant and in control.
The woman is in a different position. I have pointed out earlier that she is forced to use his metaphors and cannot invent or use her own. This means that whatever he says to her must be manipulated in turn by her in self-defence. This means that they both manipulate their language, but for different reasons. If you go back through the notes, you will find these arguments. While the man rigidly interprets his metaphors hopefully, taking the view that things will mend, she takes the metaphor and demonstrates that all the examples have another aspect - that of leaving a mark. Her metaphor of the tree at the end is taken from his line about the storm that 'damages the trees outside' (line 21), and to end the discussion and make her decision clear, she tells him that the tree is 'forever dead'. So she uses his hopeful metaphor to give him the message that everything is over between them.
The male voice
Not only does the language the man chooses allow him to present arguments that he hopes will influence her into staying with him, but it also reveals something about him and the sort of person he is. It seems that he is unable really to face up to the fact that their love is over. Someone who keeps insisting that all will be well shows that they are ignoring the unpleasant truth, He does make admissions that there is trouble in the form of the 'cut', the 'red burnt flesh', the metaphor of her 'cut hair' and the 'storm'. That much seems to be undeniable. However, one of the most telling things he says is
but it can be hidden
In time it will disappear
In other words, he would like to pretend that nothing radical is wrong and hope that the relationship will right itself.
He is a puzzling person, and we are never quite sure what his motives really are. The one thing we are clear about is that he does not come off well, does he? There are a number of ways in which we could look at him:
- He really would like to sweep everything under the carpet and go on as usual.
- If this poem is autobiographical and the poet and the speaker are the same person, then he is justifying himself, presenting himself as the sort of person who is giving the woman every opportunity to mend the relationship.
- If the speaker is fictional, that is, Lowery has invented both people, then he is examining some aspect of the male/female relationship that has occurred to him as interesting or necessary to look at.
- On the other hand, could he be laughing at himself? Could he be taking a really honest view of himself and saying, 'This is what I did, this is how I tried to get my own way'?
- This leaves you with a number of ways in which you could think about the speaker.
The theme
It is possible, in a relationship, for one of the people involved to think that certain painful wounds to love can be glossed over, while the other person knows beyond a doubt that love has been destroyed, never to be repaired.
Rapunzstiltskin, Liz Lochhead
Introduction
As an introduction to this poem, you should go back to your fairy tales, especially Rumpelstiltskin and Rapunzel. You can see from the title of this poem that the poet has combined the two names from two different stories. Feminist writing has revisited our childhood stories, such as fairy tales, and found that the position of women in the tales signifies the position they have always held in society. Generally in the tales they are in the thrall of a wicked witch, fairy or stepmother; and most often they have to wait to be rescued by a handsome Prince, or a handsome woodcutter, poor but worthy. The implication is that women are dependant upon men, and their values are shaped by marriage, particularly marriage to someone with money and good looks, which can lift them out of their imprisonment.
The two tales: Rapunzel and Rumpelstiltskin
These are two stories told by the Brothers Grimm. One is about Rapunzel, who was imprisoned in a tower by a wicked witch, and who used her incredibly long hair as a rope to allow her rescuer to climb up into the tower. The other is about a dwarf called Rumpelstiltskin, who wove gold out of straw for a girl to keep her out of trouble with the King. In return, Rumpelstiltskin claimed her first-born child unless she could find out his name. When she did, so the dwarf tore himself in two in frustration
Applying the tales to the poem
This isn't difficult, and the modern adaptation is very amusing.
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Lines 1-7 are an obvious reference to the fairy tale Rapunzel. In the tale, the girl feels miserable in her imprisonment. However, the modern girl in Lochhead's version has come to almost like and accept her situation.
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The second part is an adaptation of Rumpelstiltskin, in which the dwarf of that name weaves gold for the girl. In Lochhead's version, the young man expects the girl to do her own weaving and, in a reversal of the tale, it is the girl, not the dwarf, who tears herself in two.
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Lines 8-18 are full of references to other fairy tales, words like 'gingerbread', 'the old hag', 'trapped' and 'axe'. The humorous effect of these references is created by the contrast between the modern ways in which they are used and the rather stiff and formal language of fairy tales. One very amusing instance of this can be found in lines 17-18:
he did look sort of gorgeous
axe and all...
-
A fairy tale would have called him 'handsome' but Lochhead has used a modern slang term to make the poem feel totally contemporary. The humour here is given a double edge by the fact that 'axe' is also a slang term for an electric guitar.
Now look at lines 13-14:
"Just hang on and we'll get you out of there"
He hollered like a fireman in some soap opera.
Where does the humour lie in these two lines?
What do women want?
There is another very important dimension to this. The psychologist Freud in the 19th century posed the famous question: What do women want?
The problem is that men do not know. Freud's question is very current within the framework of women's writing and women's issues. Surely Lochhead is asking, through the girl in her story, 'What do women want?' The man cannot provide the answer, because he doesn't know.
Little Red Riding Hood
During the course of his efforts at guessing what it is that she's after, there is an amusing reference to Little Red Riding Hood. Can you find it?
How relevant are the fairy tales?
The story in Lochhead's poem diverges form the fairy tale, in that here the 'Prince' moves into the girl's place and starts a sexual relationship with her, whereas in the tale he whisks her off to his palace and marries her decently. Lochhead is gently pointing out the great distance between modern expectations and the formal morality found in the tales and is perhaps questioning whether it is a good idea to go on reading them to children.
Lochhead's language and style
Her style and language are absolutely contemporary, even to the point of using slang. Let's look at some of the characteristics of her writing:
- She uses '&' instead of 'and', which is common in modern notices, posters and advertisements. She even uses it as the first 'word' in the poem to imply that she is picking up a story that has been in progress beforehand.
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Her use of 'etc' in line 15 implies that we must fill in the details. She is presuming that we know the story and can recall the details with familiarity.
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The poem abounds in modern slang expressions. There are so many of them that I cannot list them all. You will recognise them as you read. One would be 'good & used...' in line 2 and 'corny' in line 16.
- The poem generally is told in the past tense, like a story. But in modern story telling we are in the habit of relating an anecdote in the present tense, almost as if it is happening as we speak. Lochhead picks up this tendency in line 5, where she says
along comes This Prince...
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Not only does she create the anecdotal effect, but also she capitalises 'This Prince', which picks up our modern tendency to say 'This' when we mean 'a'.
- Her use of a simile in line 33 is most effective:
'She was keener than a T.V. quizmaster
that he should get it right.'
- Think of the quizmasters that you have seen hosting quiz shows. They are so anxious for the guest on the programme to get it right that they just about give him or her the answer. That is what the girl does here. It's a good example of how to use a really original modern simile to explain exactly what you mean. It also emphasises the fact that the girl is asking, 'What do women want?'
- There is another very effective simile in lines 22-24:
till, soon, he was shimmying in & out
every other day as though
he owned the place...
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The word 'shimmying' is almost onomatopoeic, giving the sound of the movement as well as its effect. The simile relies on the idea that he thinks 'he owns the place', which is a modern expression suggestive of an attitude rather than an actuality. It tells us that someone has a cheek, or is being intrusive and 'bossy'.
- You should look at the humorous use of internal half rhyme in lines 36-37:
'I'll do everything in my power' he intoned, 'but
the impossible (she groaned) might
take a little longer. He grinned.
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The use of 'intoned / groaned / grinned' contrasts the feeling of the man and the woman in words that look and sound very similar yet mean absolutely the opposite. 'Intoned' suggests boring explanation, 'groaned' suggests despair, while 'grinned' sounds as if the man is very pleased with himself.
- Quite a number of times in the poem you can see that Lochhead uses a line that is distinctly longer than the others. Look at line 8:
Of course she had not been brought up to look for...
This indicates to us the length of her upbringing, as well as the time it might take to look for 'originality or gingerbread'.
Another example would be line 11:
by his tendency to talk in strung-together cliché.
The length of the line here reflects the length of the strung-together clichés.
- In line 21, there is an interesting metaphor:
throwing him all the usual lifelines...
The literal meaning of this metaphor is to throw someone a rope from a boat or a ship to rescue them from the sea. Here it is used in the sense of giving the man all the answers so that he can help save the situation.
- The end of the poem reveals a further twist in the use that Lochhead has made of the story of Rumpelstiltskin. In the original tale, it is the despised dwarf that tears himself in two in rage and frustration at having his name guessed. In the poem it is the girl herself that does so. We are told of this in language that directly echoes the fairy tales
She
shrieked & stamped her foot so
hard it sank six cubits through the floorboards
At least in the fairy tales, this seems to suggest, somebody came up with an answer. In the modern world, this is too much to hope for.
The theme
The poet uses fairy tales to make us think about the expectations we bring to the world. The girl in the poem has already begun to do this, and she can see beyond the myths and incorrect perceptions in the tales. The man, however, seems to still think in the clichés of the tales, and has not started to question or adapt. He speaks like a character out of a soap opera and relies on texts like the tales and even sex manuals to get him through situations. That is why, when he is asked to guess the right answer, he is unable to do so. Lochhead seems to be suggesting that women can see beyond the fairy tales but that men have not yet begun to do so.
Perhaps the real point, though, is as Freud asked: "What do women want?" Men don't know.
I Wanna be Yours, John Cooper Clarke
Introduction
The words of this poem are almost like those of a song in the style of Elvis Presley's Let me be your teddy bear. In fact, the speaker even uses that line. Read the poem once or twice, and try to work out what your attitude is to it.
The speaker is male, first person, and he is trying to persuade a girl to accept him. He's making all sorts of promises in the form of images of what the girl might need or want.
All things to one girl
If you look at the things this speaker wants to be to the girl, they are, at times, faintly ridiculous. For instance, imagine him being a vacuum cleaner and breathing in her dust. You will see that all the examples are equally amusing, impossible or illogical. But they represent effectively what the speaker would like to be for the girl in the poem.
He lists a number of everyday, useful appliances, such as a 'vacuum cleaner', a 'ford cortina' , a 'coffee pot', a 'raincoat' and a bottle of 'setting lotion'. There are other useful objects in the poem, so you can look for them. We will deal with them separately, as we meet them in the lines of the poem. The list of appliances is a clue to the modern setting of the poem. All these things are familiar to us now, but would not all have been perhaps fifty or more years ago.
The speaker's approach to the girl he loves is also very modern, some might even say unromantic. Many girls imagine someone handsome, clever, rich - yes, romantic. But this man promises everyday, ordinary, practical things, which are probably more dependable in the long run. Actually, although his examples are rather ordinary in themselves, it is a little unusual to express love in this way.
The poet is defying the popular way of expressing love in poetry. You could contrast Clarke's method with, say the early part of To His Coy Mistress.
Stanza 1
This stanza immediately starts the list of useful things the speaker wants to be to the girl. The bizarre idea of the vacuum cleaner is the first thing we read. What could he mean? Seeing that the appliance will breathe in the girl's dust, we could say that he wants to absorb everything about her. He wants to know her very well, every little grain of dust. Dust can choke or spread dirt as well, so he is probably aware that, in asking this, he is asking for some trouble along the way as well.
Then the speaker presents us with the image of the 'ford cortina', which was a popular car in the 1970s, and was known to be solid and reliable, certainly a car that wouldn't rust. What is he saying about himself? In what way would he 'never rust'?
Now for the coffee pot. Hot coffee is the ideal drink for many people, but it seems to lose its enjoyable and satisfying taste and aroma if it is lukewarm. Could he be promising her that he will retain the warmth of his love for her?
The poet indicates that he is prepared to give the girl control over their lives in line 7, which concludes the first stanza. He promises that she will
call the shots.
Whether this is as unrealistic as Marvell's extravagant promises is for the girl and you to decide.
Stanza 2
A raincoat is an absolutely essential item of clothing in rainy Britain. Why does the speaker want to be the girl's raincoat?
The second stanza moves away slightly from the useful and the everyday. Look at lines 11-12, where he wants to be her 'dreamboat'. That is probably the most traditionally romantic image in the poem, as the 'dreamboat' is just what it implies - a dream, something unreal but romantic and beautiful, promising an equally romantic journey. What would she 'wanna sail away' from? Perhaps the very ordinary, mundane nature of daily life. This is ironic in a way, as all the things the speaker wants to be are those very ordinary items we have looked at. But if he wants to be the dreamboat too, then he is asking to be all things to her. The image does show that the speaker is sensitively aware of the fact that women sometimes long for change from the mundane.
I have already mentioned the teddy bear (lines 3-14) as a line from an Elvis Presley song. Teddy bears are a childhood symbol of comfort and familiarity. Children sleep with them and carry them everywhere they go. The bears become worn and absolutely indispensable. This is what the speaker wants. 'take me with you anywhere' also implies that she could do literally that - he would be willing to go. Also, a teddy bear is taken to bed, so he desires intimacy with the girl, but needs her to find comfort and safety in his presence.
Stanza 3
In this stanza, the speaker returns to the motif of useful appliances, with the 'electric meter', 'electric heater' and 'setting lotion'. Let's look at each in turn to see what the speaker wants to provide for the girl.
First, what is the function of the electric meter? It is the assurance that the electricity will not run out. We rely on it for light and hot water, and without it life suddenly loses one of its vital services. In saying that he would not run out, the speaker is promising that he would not suddenly abandon the girl to the cold discomfort of life without him.
See whether you can interpret the images of:
- the electric heater; and
- the setting lotion.
This stanza ends the catalogue of modern, mostly household appliances that the speaker wants to be, and differs in structure from the first two in that it is extended by mention of 'deep' (devotion) and the multiple repetition of 'deep' in line 27. He is emphasising the extent of his love for her in the image of the depth of the 'atlantic' (ocean).
i wanna be yours
Each stanza ends with these words, which emphasises the point the speaker wants to make. He wants to be an integral part of the girl's life and to be needed and loved by her. It also creates the impression that he is a fairly selfless type of person. The opposite statement would be 'I want you to be mine' - so you can see the difference. The statement also integrates the three stanzas and provides unity in the list of things the speaker wants to be.
Right at the end, with surprise effect, we realise there seems to be another girl in the background, because the speaker says,
i don't wanna be hers
i wanna be yours
It could suggest that the speaker might have been involved with two girls at once, or that another girl might have an interest in him, which has caused him to be so emphatic about the girl of his choice.
Rhyme and meter
There is a definite rhyme scheme in this poem. Stanzas 1 and 2 have a strict pattern of ababcccd. Stanza 3 differs and has a pattern of ababcdcececc plus the final two lines that do not rhyme. This might reflect the fact that in stanza 3 the speaker extends the number of lines and leads up to the specific point (in a coda) that his love is deep and he doesn't want to be anyone else's. It is common in song lyrics to have a variation of pattern such as this. The lines lend themselves to the possibility of song, and you imagine hearing the repetition of 'deep' at the end of the lyric as the conclusion of a song. Even the use of 'wanna' is typical of song lyrics.
The meter is regular as well. Read the first few lines of the first stanza aloud and you will hear it. There is a stressed syllable followed by a light one until the last two lines. Lines 1-6 are in what we call trochaic meter.
Lines 7-8 follow a different pattern of a stressed syllable followed by two light ones. This is called dactylic.
Regular rhyme and meter create the musical effect that would make the words suitable as lyrics, but they also provide the definite effect needed for the repetition and emphasis of the speaker's feelings and the point he builds up to at the end of the poem.
The conclusion
This poem provides a different point of reference from the others in the section 'Hearts and Partners'. It presents us with an apparently utterly devoted and well-meaning man who wants to fulfill everything his girl could wish for. It is a contrast to The Beggar Woman and To His Coy Mistress, which feature men who use women sexually, and Rapunzstiltskin, in which the man is totally insensitive to what the woman wants.
One Flesh, Elizabeth Jennings
The title
The phrase 'one flesh' is found in the Christian marriage service. Its origin is the first book of the Christian Bible, Genesis 1:20-24.
If you have read these two references to the phrase 'one flesh', you will understand why the words are so important in the Christian marriage service. Have you ever wondered what the meaning might be? It is both obvious and mysterious at the same time. Its immediate implication is physical - sexual. But is this all it means? It implies much more, we suspect. It suggests that two people become a unit, two as one, in many ways other than physical.
Realising this renders the situation in the poem puzzling, something we really have to think about.
The situation
The speaker's parents have reached a certain stage of their lives, one in which physical love is not of paramount importance. Even though they are together in the same bedroom, they inhabit different worlds.
Stanza 1
The opening words of the poem immediately suggest the situation to the reader:
Lying apart now, each in a separate bed...
This immediately undermines the idea of 'one flesh', which is associated in our minds with the shared marriage bed. The word 'now' tells us, though, that it was not always like this.
Lines 2 - 4 indicate that the two parents live vastly different interior lives, too - he 'with a book' and she with childhood dreams where men did not exist. This is an important observation, as it is a subtle way of telling us that her mother has no interest in physical love. The speaker, their child, observes and speculates on the apparent separation.
Lines 4 - 6 of stanza 1 point out that this is not just lack of interest that keeps these two people separate, but some kind of stasis or suspension. They are awaiting
Some new event
There is no way of telling what this new event might be. The poem merely says 'it is as if...', meaning that they present the appearance of waiting but might not be doing so at all.
When we see that the father's book is 'unread', we realise that the mention of his book in line 2 did not mean that he was reading it. She looks at the 'shadows overhead'. All this adds up to the fact that they are each preoccupied with private thoughts, every comment in the stanza apparently emphasising their separation.
Rhythm and rhyme
If you read the first stanza aloud to yourself, you will notice an interesting thing. The accents fall on the important or keywords. There is a natural falling of the voice onto them. So, for instance, in line 1, the voice falls on 'apart', 'each', 'separate' and 'bed'. You can go through the poem and see how this works throughout.
The rhythm in the poem is, for the most part, soft and gentle, creating a meditative effect. It allows for the fact that the speaker is pondering on her parents' relationship.
However, at times it assumes a different speed, as in lines 4-5:
All men elsewhere - it is as if they wait
Some new event:
Perhaps the speaker herself is anticipating change and is excited at the thought. This is expressed in the monosyllables in these lines.
There is a similar effect in line 10:
Of having little feeling - or too much.
'Or too much' is monosyllabic and is said hurriedly, as if the speaker is taken with this new idea about her parents.
The rhyme scheme is very understated, as is suitable for a more meditative poem. You will see that 'bed' and 'childhood' hardly seem to rhyme at all and we go over the lines scarcely noticing the faint rhyme. Other rhymes are more obvious, yet we hardly notice them as the lines run on, as in lines 4-5, quoted above. Look back at those lines and you will see that 'wait' rhymes with 'late' in line 2, but the line runs on to 'Some new event', without our being consciously aware of the rhyme.
Stanza 2
The stanza focuses on the past sexual relationship of the parents' marriage, suggesting three phases - passion, coolness and chastity.
The image of 'flotsam'
The speaker sees her parents as
Tossed up like flotsam from a former passion...
Think about the word 'flotsam' in line 7. We associate the word with the remains tossed up on the seashore from a wreck. The simile gives us the impression that the 'former passion' must have been heated and strong enough to toss the parents up, but the phrase also creates a distance in the word 'former'. The passion, like the storm that tossed up the flotsam, has abated.
Heat and cold
'Passion' suggests fire or heat, but line 8 provides a contrast by saying
How cool they lie.
We are left with the impression that their passion burned out, leaving them like this. It is as if they are without energy. Here we must remember the title of the poem and the words of the marriage service, as the concept of 'one flesh' seems, on the surface, ironic. We start to wonder if the phrase could imply more than physical oneness.
Lines 8-10 allow us to glimpse the reason for the parents' separation in two beds. If they were to touch, it would betray one of two states:
Little feeling - or too much.
If you look at the words and imagery in Stanza 2, you will see that the speaker uses words that favour the outward appearance of coolness at least:
'cool'
'hardly ever touch'
'little feeling'
'Chastity'
Chastity
'Chastity', of course, is the most obvious sign that passion has left, because it means that the sexual aspect of their marriage is soon to be completely absent.
What do you think the speaker means by saying that their whole lives were a preparation for chastity?
Does the word 'chastity' imply that there is 'little' feeling between the two people? The speaker gives us the alternative - 'too much'. What are we to make of that? If we ourselves are not at the stage in which these parents find themselves, it is difficult to imagine what 'too much' might mean. Try to suggest an explanation.
What do you understand by the word 'confession' in line 9?
You must read lines 11-12 carefully, as they explain the concept of chastity awaiting this married couple. And again it is necessary to remember the title and the phrase 'one flesh'. Are the concepts of 'one flesh' and 'chastity' compatible?
Chastity faces them, a destination
For which their whole lives were a preparation.
This creates the idea that chastity is inevitable, and that passion leads only to this end. This is probably what the speaker senses her parents waiting for in line 5, 'some new event'.
Stanza 3
In line 13, the speaker uses the word 'strangely' twice in the same line, an indication that she cannot explain her parents' state. Their bodies are apart, yet they are inexplicably close together. She explains this paradox by means of some interesting images.
The image of thread
Let's look at the first image, which is constructed as a simile in lines 14-15:
Silence between them like a thread to hold
And not wind in.
First, we'll have to decide on the surface meaning. Imagine two parents lying in separate beds and holding a thread - just holding it. What would happen if one of them wound it in? Yes, the delicate link between them would vanish.
What is this thread? It is silence. We might think that two silent people weren't connecting at all, that there was nothing between them at that moment. But that isn't the case. Their silence keeps them implicitly joined. The thread held between them tells us that. It's a delicate suggestion of connectedness. So there is a very subtle communication going on, which we as readers weren't aware of at first.
We have to think of the concept of 'one flesh' at this stage. Aren't all these considerations an aspect of the idea of 'one flesh'? Perhaps 'one flesh' doesn't just mean physical passion and the joining of bodies. Perhaps it also exists in this thread of silence. The Biblical explanation seems to suggest more than just physical passion and remaining faithful to one person. It is far more mysterious than this, and leaves us wondering about what all its implications might be.
The feather of time
Line 15 states openly the thought that has been hovering throughout the poem - the fact that these two parents are old, and that time is not on their side. The speaker says:
And time it self's a feather
Touching them gently.
This has nothing to do with the feeling between the two people. Try to visualise them lying there in silence, with a feather brushing them without their realising it. A feather has a very soft texture. It would brush gently on them so that they would be aware of its presence in a way that did not alarm them. It is at this stage we ourselves realise that the 'lying apart' and the 'silence' are directly related to old age.
The speaker's question,
Do they know they're old...?
seems at first a strange one, as presumably they know their age. But this isn't quite what she means. One often hears elderly people say that they feel just the same inside, and that it's just their bodies that have aged. The speaker is wondering how self- aware her parents are at this moment.
A fire grown cold
The metaphor in the last line, line 18, seems to sum up the idea that pervades the poem. The death of passion with the consequent silence and apparent separation are contained in the metaphor of a fire grown cold. The speaker adds the thought of herself and her own conception:
Do they know they're old,
These two who are my father and mother
Whose fire from which I came, has now grown cold.
Here the speaker is wondering at the silence and separation of her parents and pondering on the fact that she was conceived from their 'former passion'. Look at the rhyme in 'old' and 'cold', and how it links the concept of old age and lack of passion. The definite nature of this rhyme is appropriate in a meditative poem in which the speaker has arrived at some sort of conclusion in her thoughts.
