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Hoked on her

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Hooked on Her Standing there before her grave the rain slashed my countenance: just as my tears had the night I knew of her death. I wished I could turn back the clock; I wished I knew how! I wished I knew why! Life takes us on a twisted journey; around every corner is another problem, another lie, another memory. Let me take you back, back to the night I lost everything: my family...my home...my SANITY! I gazed at the four walls which hid my shameful addiction from the world. I stepped into the shower. I stood there, the water trickled down my skin. I felt dirty; as the more I tried to wash the salacious residue, the more my mind reminisced the events of this exact same spot the night before. I tried to block out the thoughts; her gelatinous skin against mine, our bodies entwined in passion: and now here I stood, alone never to see her again. Soon she would just be another silhouette on that very same corner from which I first set eyes on her: that very same corner on which she stood trying to make just enough money to satisfy her pimp and pusher. ...read more.


I tried to calm her down but the more I tried to compete against her stubbornness the worse the situation become. I turned for the stairway, there sat my baby girl, she had heard every word. She was starting school on Monday I wouldn't even be there to ask her how her day was. I took her by her hand and led her upstairs. I sat her on her bed and crouched before her. I looked her in her hazel eyes and told her how much I loved her and how I'd never forget her. As I seen her tears fill her eyes I couldn't bare the pain. I kissed her head and held her tight: I never wanted to let her go. I pulled her away from my torso and waved goodbye. Driving against the rain was like driving against a brick wall. The rain hammering against my car, I pulled up at a set of traffic lights. Though the radio was on low, it seemed to attract my attention. ...read more.


I staggered into the bathroom to shower. At that my head fell on the horn which startled me from my thought. I felt sick as my stomach churned. Two weeks passed in which I stayed in a bed-sit, it wasn't great; however it was a shelter from the world. Here I stayed all day and night contemplating what to do. No matter how hard I tried I could still not combat my guilt; especially on the day of our true goodbye. Standing there before Mirandas grave the rain slashed my countenance: just as my tears had the night I knew of her death. I wish I could turn back the clock, I wish I knew how! I wish I knew why she had to force me to do it. Why did she want to end our love? I told u life takes us on a twisted journey; didn't I? But what I didn't tell you was the blowing of my fuse. I loved her and she wanted to say goodbye, I just made sure it was for good, which was what she wanted: didn't she? I just made sure that if I couldn't have her no one could! Hayley Anstee ...read more.

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