How does D. H. Lawrence convey the 'pain of love' in "Sons and Lovers"

        Perhaps the best indicator of true characteristics and emotions among the characters comes not from the words, but from the symbols. Sons and Lovers is filled with flower imagery, however flowers are not just one symbol, they are slightly different hints at character traits for each lover, and yet they all revolve around the pain and burden of being a lover. Miriam is a character who needs to be called back down to Earth. Flowers are the unfailing force that makes Miriam absolutely thrilled. She plucks them from the earth and devours them fanatically in her spiritual stupor. She sucks every morsel of life and color out of the flowers, much like she seeks to spiritually exhaust the resources that a person like Paul presents to her. Miriam pulls the flowers and savors them, wishing that she could have Paul in this same way. To Miriam, these flowers are like taking something she cannot truly have. She cares deeply about her spirit and her flowers, “[plucking] the flowers lovingly, lingering over them…she had more reverence for them: they held something she had not.” (371) Clara, however, can settle for her love on a very different level than Miriam. Clara doesn’t seek flowers, she doesn’t feel like she needs them; she doesn’t seek a deep soul-mate type of love. Clara will settle for something subtle, something that grows with time and doesn’t die. She can simply be around flowers, and be around her lovers, and she won’t fret even though the flowers and lovers may not revolve around her. She doesn’t care about being the center of the universe. She may not always be completely satisfied, sometimes she can “[look] at the [flowers] disconsolately,” (371) but there are many flowers out there for her. Tragically, the male figure in this triangle is a user, a polished manipulator, even if he does not fully realize it. Paul admires flowers, and conveniently he often admires flowers aloud, while a woman is present. He uses flowers as conversation points, as gifts, as tools of manipulation. He wants everyone around him to love him unconditionally, even though he wouldn’t be thoroughly satisfied if they all did. Paul doesn’t really care about his flowers, just like he doesn’t really care about his women. When discussing flowers with Clara and Miriam, Paul sheds some light onto his own scheme by saying, “It does not matter if [the flowers] do die…you get ‘em because you want ‘em, and that’s all.” (373) Paul will use whatever he can have without even enjoying it. He’s much like a small child, begging for a toy that he will grow tired of after a day. He loves Miriam and Clara because he thinks he wants to, but he does nothing besides bring them pain and disappointment. Perhaps Paul’s insurmountable barricade in love is that he can never love anyone like he loves his mother, and can manage to inflict nothing but pain on his lovers. Even though Paul is so burdened by his dilemma, he is not alone in his frustration as long as he has lovers. Each character thinks differently and acts differently, and Lawrence finds ways to tell the reader everything that needs to be known about love, and how cruel it can be.