Dora’s impulsiveness is also seen as irresponsibility in the novel, as she repeatedly demonstrates an inability to face obstacles or think ahead, especially in times of immense pressure, being described as an ‘unprotesting but significantly mobile creature’. The main example of this is in chapter one as Dora is travelling to meet Paul in Pendelcote, as she wears impractical high-heeled shoes and a heavy coat and skirt, simply to please her husband, without considering the hot weather and the fact that she is going to stay in a lay community. She also packs whiskey in her case, despite moving to a religious environment where abstinence from such luxuries is encouraged, and what’s more, she places the whiskey on top of her book in the suitcase, rendering her too embarrassed to get her book from her case to relieve her boredom on the train. Her inability to face obstacles is demonstrated repeatedly, such as when she gets up and leaves the carriage, having discovered that Toby and James Tayper Pace are also going to Imber Abbey. She feels particularly ashamed as Paul is already at Imber and has most probably made the community members aware of how she left him and had an affair, and she could be considered to have been flirting with Toby, thus encouraging the idea that she is immoral and promiscuous. She gets up and leaves again in the chapel upon arriving at Imber Court, due to feeling humiliated. Dora becomes increasingly self-conscious in the chapel as the nun keeps turning round to look at her, and the nun then whispering to Mrs Mark worsens this. Dora arrived at Imber feeling anxious, ‘painfully guilty and embarrassed’, and most probably thought her fears that everyone was aware of her leaving Paul were confirmed, and the nun and Mrs Mark were discussing her. On top of this, Dora is forced to cover her head with an ‘idiotic’ and ‘not very clean handkerchief’ to observe the rules of the community, and the humiliation this induces in her leads her to leave, rather than face the situation. Murdoch writes that Paul knows of Dora’s ‘instant ability to whisk away’, and this is where her ‘unprotesting’ nature and inability to face obstacles is really demonstrated, as he makes her feel ‘humiliated’, so, incapable of confronting him, Dora leaves him.
Despite Paul’s maltreatment of his wife being demonstrated repeatedly through the first four chapters of The Bell, he does not succeed in taming her impulsiveness. Murdoch contrasts the oppressed and tormented wife side of Dora with a description of her as a young art student. This is the first glimpse of Dora’s flamboyant side, with her jazz records and ‘big multi-coloured skirts’, outwardly illustrating her vibrant personality, which Paul has muted. She is also incredibly absent-minded, such as is shown in chapter one when she leaves her luggage, along with Paul’s notebook and hat, on the train, something of which Paul is extremely disdainful, his initial comment being “Typical,” showing that this forgetfulness is a frequent bad habit of Dora’s. This disorganisation is also seen in chapter two when she loses her shoes in the garden of Imber Court and has to face the community barefoot, and Paul is once again described as ‘disapproving’. In chapter one, once Dora was ‘married and installed’, Murdoch writes that it seemed to Dora that ‘Paul was urging her to grow up’ and ‘lacked patience’ with her. The effect that Paul’s condescension has on Dora is made clear as Murdoch states her ‘elated confidence…began to ebb’, and that Dora was left ‘humiliated and exhausted’’. This fact is illustrated further through the symbolism of Dora’s clothes. Dora is described as wearing ‘big multi-coloured skirts’ and especially her sandals at times when she is particularly content, such as when she was an art student, a time at which ‘she had been happy’. The sandals are particularly symbolic as, although not the height of fashion, they are practical and, above all, comfortable shoes, showing that Dora is comfortable and secure at this stage of her life. In contrast, after marrying Paul, Dora ‘abandoned the big skirts and sandals’, purchasing ‘safe’ and, in her opinion, ‘extremely dull’ outfits, however she once again purchases more ‘multi-coloured skirts and sandals and jazz records’, upon having ‘escaped’ from their shared flat. When Dora returns to Paul she is wearing ‘tight’ high-heeled shoes, which are impractical, and a ‘very tight’ ‘smart featureless coat and skirt’ in which she feels ‘fat and hot’. This is, again, demonstrative of how uncomfortable and discontent she is in her relationship with Paul.
Dora’s relationship with Paul greatly affects her self-esteem, as Murdoch affirms in chapter one, saying her ‘elated confidence…began to ebb’, and her behaviour towards other people. Her self-confidence is seen to be high after their separation as she inspects herself on the train, detailing her ‘mouth that liked to smile’ and her ‘dark slaty blue eyes’ concluding that ‘she looked good’ and ‘was attractive’, however she ends with a criticism that ‘her figure was no means what it had been’. This self-consciousness is possibly something that she obtained during her time with Paul, as, when she was an art student, she was described as ‘plump’, yet at this time she had also ‘been happy’. This time is also described as seeming ‘unimaginably remote’, and is the time before she married Paul, suggesting that this experience changed her. Dora is also seen to be constantly comparing herself to others, such as on the train, as she thinks the people in the carriage ‘were thinner’, and when she first meets Catherine Fawley, referring to her as ‘the rather beautiful girl’ and feeling ‘an immediate twinge of displeasure’. She later considers the possibility that Catherine is ‘not really beautiful after all’, and is said to feel ‘relief’, due to a need to be the most attractive person there by comparison in order to boost her self esteem. This is suggested when she first sees Catherine and is said to have assumed that she would ‘at least be the only beautiful girl’ at Imber, and considered ‘a woman of the appearance of Mrs Mark’ to be ‘quite in place’ as Mrs Mark is an older woman. Dora also seems to need reassuring that she is attractive, as shown by her behaviour on the train, such as when she is smiling and catches Toby’s eye, making him blush. Dora is ‘delighted’ by this as it proves her feminine lure can still unnerve men, verifying that she is still found attractive.
Dora’s comparison of herself with others and searches for reassurance are partly successful as, in chapter one, Iris Murdoch also talks of Dora ‘cherishing herself’, despite Paul’s disdain and disregard. Dora is described as becoming ‘increasingly aware she existed’, but she also said to have ‘lacked self knowledge’. At the end of chapter three, however, Murdoch reintroduces these ideas, illustrating that Paul has failed in his attempts to turn his wife into a docile adherent, as Dora stands before the mirror, looking at herself with admiration and ‘astonishment’. The description of Dora’s reflection gives her vivacity as she sees the ‘vitality’ of her neck and her ‘bold eyes’. She expresses this person as ‘unknown to Paul’, showing that he has been unable to obliterate her animated character. This is confirmed in the final sentence of this paragraph as Dora’s thoughts are revealed as she continues to admire ‘how very much…she existed’, demonstrating Dora’s innate energy that remains, ending with the final self-assuring statement ‘and no one should destroy her’. This illustrates Dora’s incredible resilience, and despite all Paul’s disapproval such as towards her outfits, which she thinks he considers her ‘the tiniest bit vulgar, has remained strong and silently fighting back with supportive thoughts to herself. It also suggests that during the six months that she spent away from Paul, she gained the self-knowledge that she previously ‘lacked’, rather than accepting the ‘child-wife’, ‘juvenile’ image that Paul holds of her and she previously believed.
