The loud shrilling of the phone awoke me. I half opened my eyes and shut them again as the blinding light forced me to. I became daring and opened them fully trying to focus my blood shot drunken eyes and after a long stretch and yawn rolled out of bed and crawled effortlessly to the phone.
“Hello”, I mumbled.
“Hello”, said the voice in a clipped expressionless tone. “I used to live in your flat before you and I was wondering if there was any post for me because I haven’t really had time to change my addresses on everything yet” the mysterious woman whispered politely.
“No I’m sorry there isn’t, but if any does come if you could give me your number I would be more than happy to ring you if you would like” I offered.
“Thanks very much that would be great!” she laughed.
She gave me her name and number and I scribbled down her number quickly on the back of the Thompson’s local with an old eyeliner I had found last week behind my chest of drawers. Then the thought hit me, what was I doing? Here was a woman I hadn’t even met before and she had just reluctantly given me her number, that had never happened to me before. I stumbled down the stairs when I had finished on the phone just to check. There was nothing. Near the bottom of the pile there was a postcard for me from my nana who lived in Brighton, it read ‘Happy Birthday love your Nana x x x’. It made me smile; at least someone remembered the date.
I thought about Sarah whilst making some breakfast. Was she thinking about me? About today? I figured I would never know.
Our first proper date was amazing! It felt like we just clicked. I took her ice skating in Hyde Park as it was early December and they had just opened an outdoor ice rink just for this year only. I picked her up at 7.30. We met at a little undistinguished coffee shop and ordered in scorching hot chocolates to warm us up before we left. I still hadn’t told her where I was taking her but I noticed she had put on her warm coat and scarf and gloves. The date was perfect and I was quite proud of myself for choosing it, as it gave me an excuse to get close to her without feeling nervous. We got to know almost everything about each other which was weird because we had only known each other a week and had only been on our first date. But our relationship was special, very special.
I lay down on my tatty old sofa bed wrapping my icy blanket around my bitter body shivering whilst trying to lock in the very little amount of heat that had escaped from my body. I slowly warmed up and treasured every tiny bit of heat my body could generate. I slowly closed my eyes and drifted off into a restless sleep. I used to love to dream when I was with Sarah. If I wasn’t dreaming I was lying awake next to her watching her sleep thinking of how beautiful she was. Now every dream was a nightmare.
The phone rang waking me up AGAIN!! I slipped out of bed not really taking much notice of the soft white snow outside covering the ground like a big white blanket. I answered it in a mono-tone voice.
“Hello”, I muttered
“Hi, sorry to bother you again. It’s me Becca, you know the girl who used to live in your flat.” She explained.
“Oh, Becca hi no it’s no bother at all” I lied. “What seems to be the problem?” I asked.
“Nothing I was just checking there wasn’t any post for me again that’s all” She told me.
“No I’m sorry. Were you looking for anything in particular?” I questioned.
“Well yes actually. My divorce papers were supposed to be coming through soon but they haven’t come here so I was wondering if they had that address instead of this one” She assumed.
“No nothing has arrived here I’m afraid” I apologised. “But I will keep my eye open for you if you like”.
I felt like I had known her for a long time it was a strange feeling that I had never had for a long time. It felt like we had just bonded like an actual friend.
The months passed and she phoned me more often, soon it was getting every night and we were getting quite fond of each other. I knew everything about her and she knew everything about me, I mean everything, the whole obsessive story about Sarah and I knew the reasons she was divorcing her husband. Night after night I tried to build up the courage to asking her out, I decided tonight was the night.
I sat by the phone waiting for that promising ring. Time passed. I waited and waited. It was ringing. I was ringing her, I waited, trying to be patient, for her to answer.
“Hello, you have got through to Becca’s answering machine if you need to leave a message…” The answering machine clicked on. I clicked off. I would just ring her later. There was a knock at the door. But mysteriously when I opened it there was no one there, but the rush of Sarah’s perfume stormed past me, it made me think of when she last came to see me -last week- I had chucked her out of my apartment as she had tried to tell me I should get over her and stop moping around and she didn’t realise the relationship was this serious. After she had left I had smashed a few plates ripped up the picture of her that used to hang on my wall. It still lay in small snow-like particles on the floor. I thought nothing of it and closed the door. Next door had been very loud today, maybe it was them trying to annoy me, although I had heard a lot of banging from upstairs tool and at this time today both of the couples above my head were at work, maybe someone was in their apartment. My brain whizzed back and forth trying to think of reasons behind the strange happenings, my body wasn’t having any of it. Heading to the kitchen I smelt something, I knew I had smelt the familiar smell before. Oh no! The pasta. I had put on to boil and it was now bubbling and spilling all over the cooker. The fire alarms called me. I pulled out the batteries; it was always going off these days. Another knock at the door alarmed me. I stood rooted to the spot not knowing exactly what my body was telling me to do. I slowly crept over to the hollow wooden door and gripped my shaking hand around the big brass doorknob. Opening it quickly it took me by surprise as behind the door was a petite woman, dripping wet but still her smile was touching both ears.
“Hi, it’s me, Becca.” She said laughing obviously seeing my confused smile.
“Oh Hi Becca…” My eyes widened as I looked down seeing my scruffy old jeans I had been wearing most of the week now and the campest shirt you have ever seen that was covered with tomato sauce.
“Would you like to come in?” I managed
“Yes if you wouldn’t mind. There’s something I need to talk to you about.” She explained.
She entered my small dingy flat and waited in the hall as I tried my best to go around picking up old yogurt cartons and dirty plates off the floor. I seemed to notice lots of tomato sauce stains on the carpet. When she came in, to my surprise, her face glowed as she looked around.
“This brings back so many memories” She said, still smiling.
Her smile turned upside down as she saw the stains on my carpet and the torn up picture of Sarah. Looking at me she said”What has happened?” “What is on the floor? Is that who I think it is?”
Too many difficult questions fired at me at once made my head pound so much I thought someone was pounding their strong foot against my temples.
“I’ll just make us a cup of tea you look like you have just seen a ghost” She whispered.
The doorknob caught my eye there was something on that too.
My hands were still behind my back and had been since she had walked through the door. I brought them up in front of my face and my eyes widened in disbelief as I saw the devils waters dripping thickly from my hands. Screams echoed my small box like flat. I turned to see Becca huffing and puffing in the doorway of my kitchen, 15 inch kitchen knife in her hand. I ran past her confused at exactly what had happened. There was Sarah lying on the floor she looked more beautiful than she ever had. Laughing I looked at Becca but suddenly stopped as my hand reached out to her to stop her from running. The knife plunged deep inside the stomach. I have never felt so much hurt and pain.
