I stumbled out of Miss Honeys classroom with every little bit of hope in me sucked away.

by rosechesney58yahoocom (student)

Creative Writing:

I stood there in silence. All I wanted was the guilt and remorse to be free from this paining sensation in my stomach to evaporate into thin air. But it’s too late now. The deathly stony stillness in the wake of the storm is my punishment and I have to deal with the consequences.

The conflict between us manifests themselves with greater tension than ever before. Several factors contributed to this conflict which consisted of these three things; lack of understanding, lack of respect and bad behaviour. Through rebellious actions, I generated worry and concern because I knew that if I continued to behave in this unfashionable manner I would lose everything. I would lose my shine and glory on that stage in the school production. So I stood there holding my costume in one hand and my script in the other hand in total silence and shock, listening to what she had to say. I gently leaned against the piano; my arms pressed against the soft surface and examined the one room in the school that used to define my life… the room that I will never be able to step into ever again.

Miss Honey being the kind hearted, sweet natured teacher she was, lost her cool. Her role in school was very dynamic and versatile but the conflict that was going on between us and my drama group made her teaching one of the most challenging and demanding ones that she had ever encountered. I felt sorry for her. So I knew in my head I had to change the way I behaved because there was no mutual understanding, which to an extent destroyed the interests and incentives of Drama. Instead there was a lot of resentment, conflict and unwholesome attitudes. I ...

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Miss Honey being the kind hearted, sweet natured teacher she was, lost her cool. Her role in school was very dynamic and versatile but the conflict that was going on between us and my drama group made her teaching one of the most challenging and demanding ones that she had ever encountered. I felt sorry for her. So I knew in my head I had to change the way I behaved because there was no mutual understanding, which to an extent destroyed the interests and incentives of Drama. Instead there was a lot of resentment, conflict and unwholesome attitudes. I could see that my presence made Miss Honey feel uncomfortable and, sadly, she asked me to leave on several occasions which upset me greatly. I was destroying every chance I had as well as losing all my friends.

I stood there in total anguish, totally and utterly frustrated at my inability to solve this problem myself. The pure condrum of the heart and mind that battled against each other to such an extent, that my limitations had become no more. I struggled to understand why everyone had all this anger built up inside them towards me ,but when she told me what I did it terrified me and that was when I broke down. I could feel the tears welling in my tear ducts and I hoped greatly they would fall for Miss Honey to see how truly sorry and bad I felt, but sadly it was to no avail. When she told me the effect I had on the rest of my group in class, the despair filled my heart and mind, and words of regret filled my mouth. In wild retaliation I told her of my anguish that was laced with the bitter feeling of misunderstanding.

As we continued to talk, the confrontation raised stress levels because of my inability and unwillingness to except the consequences of my actions. Miss Honey eventually said she didn’t want me in drama department anymore because she felt too uncomfortable and that there was too much drama and tears.

I trembled with fear of loss of my friends, my drama and my favourite teacher. I knew in my head that I had to conquer my biggest fear and overcome the bitterness and harsh realities of life and that happiness will eventually embrace me once again if I try to solve things.

I stumbled out of Miss Honey’s classroom with every little bit of hope in me sucked away. As I walked the corridors of the school I reflected on what happened. Every individual in our group has to some extent been shaped or influenced by the approach of our characters. I know that my method of using ‘emotion memory’ to develop my character had actually made me into a selfish, ignorant and insensitive person and it wasn’t until Miss Honey told me that I realised this. My greed had infiltrated and dominated my mind. I was totally unaware that I was the reason why there was so much conflict and tension. Although my conversation with Miss Honey reduced me to tears, she made me understand that everyone has profound ability to achieve great things too and it wasn’t just all about me.

But the undertakings that I had set out to do to resolve things didn’t seem that hard until I attempted them because the next day nothing had changed. I tried so hard to change but no one even acknowledged my existence of being there in the same room as them. The sadness and despair accompanied the loss of all things that I held close to my heart. My tears where a sign of weakness and I too was weak and pathetic. I could not go any further so I left with overwhelming sorrow. I looked in the mirror, my face pale, no vibrancy, and no colour to be seen in my cheeks.

Maybe this is God’s way of telling me that this is my punishment?