“You tell me of our future that you planned.”
She is in need of pity but is trying to express this in a subtle manner so as not to give herself an image of excessive self-pity.
The language used is quite direct and simple, yet effective. The repetition of the title of the poem, “remember” throughout the poem shows that she is trying to get a point across to her failed lover. However, does he understand what she is trying to get through to him? Does he care about her feelings whatsoever?
The poem could be related to the regular modern situations that many women are placed in nowadays. Even though some might not be in the best of situations, they still give up a great deal of their social lives and careers to concentrate on caring for another member of a relationship.
William Shakespeare’s ‘Sonnet 138’ written in the late 1500’s is also a personal poem, yet the attitude expressed could be viewed as practically opposite to the previous one. The middle-aged man in the poem is in love with a younger woman and is trying to regain his youth in her. The poem is anything but morbid as the attitude is quite playful and the whole poem consists of a witty argument between the truth and the desired truth. The character is practically arguing with himself, and one could say that there is inconsistency from one phrase to another. There are signs of sarcasm in the reflection of the poet’s character through the poem. This is probably the result of having to deal with such a cynical yet superficial situation. The poem could be viewed as slightly autobiographical as Shakespeare himself was likely to have gone through several relationships involving relatively large age gaps as this was probably often the case at the time. This poem is also a sonnet, and therefore a personal, confessional poem. The character in the poem does not want the real truth from his partner. They both know the real substance of their relationship, but they go along with the game of deceit in the sense that he wants to be flattered. He and his partner realise that his youth is over, that she is most probably cheating on him, but they do not even consider questioning the truth:
“O! love’s best habit is in seeming trust,”
Love should be based on trust. However, their relationship is based on ‘seeming trust.’ They are involved with each other in an artificial relationship of lies, and they are certainly not about to face the truth. They avoid the subjects that are considered unpleasant in order to keep their relationship standing. She might be living under the illusion that her partner is naïve and believes her, however he is really just playing along with her game.
“I do believe her, though I know she lies,”
The inconsistency of his feelings can be viewed here, as he contradicts himself in order to hide from the truth. Occasionally, there is an example of play on words used to show the playfulness of the relationship in the poem:
“Therefore I lie with her and she with me,”
The pun has two meanings: they lie in bed together, yet they do not share the whole truth. As their relationship is so superficial and they obviously do not really trust each other in the least, one would guess that their alliance is mostly based on a physical relationship rather than an emotional one. The language sometimes tends to get slightly cynical and exaggerated:
“When my love swears that she is made of truth,”
This could suggest that she is making such an effort to prove her fidelity towards her lover, to show him that she is truthful towards him that this leads to him knowing that she is made of anything but truthfulness. The poem shows that truth can be played with, although it is not certain that the final results are very positive.
“Sonnet 138” can be compared to the 1970’s film, “The Graduate,” that involves a superficial relationship between a college graduate and a middle aged woman. Their relationship is purely physical and based on anything but trust, not to mention any form of conversation.
‘The Sun Rising’ by John Donne written in 1603 consists of two lovers lying in bed at sunrise while questioning the Sun’s authority in intruding on them. The poem is extremely hyperbolic in the sense that the statements expressed are exaggerated. The poem consists of a conversation between the poet and the Sun. It is a personally directed argument addressed to the Sun as the Sun is being mocked and subjected to the treatment of an average human being. In a sense, the lovers are reversing roles: they consider themselves the centre of the universe whereas in their eyes the Sun is merely a person interrupting their love. The poem extends the metaphor of the world and its workings revolving around the couple and their love. Even royalty abides by their love, everything is compressed in their own relationship:
“Ask for those kings whom thou saw’st yesterday.”
The aged Sun is an ‘old fool’ and he is not obeying their rules:
“Busy old fool, unruly Sun.”
They live in a world of their own, do they have to be dictated to night and day? The poem asks rhetorical questions that don’t need an answer, as the answers would not necessarily please the lovers.
The attitude in the poem is very arrogant, yet quite playfully philosophical and metaphysical. They consider their love to be so powerful that it would blind even the Sun. They explain to the Sun with boosting self-confidence that his happiness and love is only half as valid as theirs is. The language used is highly exaggerated yet quite playful, witty and clever. Although there are many examples of boastful commands made by the speaker, they are not very serious and end well. The language tends to consist of the imperative tense when an order is being made towards the Sun:
“Go tell court-huntsmen that the King will ride.”
The lovers judge that they can control the ways of the Sun as they suppose that their love is more powerful than it is. However, towards the end they realise that this is not possible and they learn to accept the Sun and its benefits:
“To warm the world, that’s done in warming us.”
This poem could be related to one of Philip Pullman’s modern novels, “The Amber Spyglass, ”in which a young couple’s love is so strong that it overthrows the natural balance of Earth.
My last poem, “To His Coy Mistress,” written by Andrew Marvell in about 1650 is a poem displaying the passage of time. The attitude of the man in the poem is one of seduction and suggestiveness. Time is passing. He and his coy mistress are in their blooming youth and he is trying to convince her that now is the time to take action. There is no longer any past and future. The present is what matters to him and he wants to make the most of it. The character is rather impatient and persuasive towards his shy, coquettish mistress. What can they do in all their time passed together? The male side of the relationship knows what he wants. He is trying to be polite and patient with her, but he is actually mocking his lover as time passes on. He doesn’t want to play around any longer. He wants to get the job done.
He is convinced that they are going to conquer time with their love, that their love is powerful that time will not matter:
“Rather at once our time devour,”
However, this is a contradiction of what he states earlier on in the poem when the poet introduces images of death and decay into the poem demonstrating that time does matter, and that sooner or later it will be too late.
“Nor, in thy marble vault, shall sound my echoing song: then worms shall try that long-preserved virginity and your quaint honour turn to dust and into ashes all my lust.”
The poem in itself is a direct persuasive message to his partner trying to argumentatively convince her that she is in her prime but she won’t be forever. This is reflected through the argumentatively imperative language used in the poem by Marvell. They have their love for each other, however this is not enough for him, and he needs physical satisfaction from his lover. This could display the general attitude of today that the physical side of a relationship is influenced by the male gender, although this does not necessarily have to be the case.
Apparently, she is as willing as he is to get on with it, or at least according to the poet, yet she is just reserved and timid and maybe doesn’t want to admit to having any such desires:
“And while thy willing soul transpires,”
The poem is divided into three sections as can be seen by the two indented paragraphs. The first is a plea by the male partner to have a more physical relationship by explaining that time passes. The second is an explanation of the consequences of not taking action and the third is a response to the second by the woman in the relationship to proceed with her hidden desires. The poem is written in octosyllabic form, this regularity joins it together and the regular rhyming pattern gives it a musical flow. The language used is argumentally extended, witty and persuasive.
This poem could be related to the song “I’d Love to Make Love to You” sung by Nat King Cole. An extract of the lyrics from the song is very similar to the message of wasting time in the poem:
“While we’re in our prime, don’t waste time, wasting time is a sin…”
It is clear that there is a resemblance between the attitudes in the three male written poems. They all have playful witty and persuasive comments in them trying to persuade their female partners to do something or other. They are all in need of physical attention, which displays the male need for a sexual relationship. This is not saying that the women in the poems are not needing a physical relationship, as this is demonstrated in “To His Coy Mistress” when she demands for sexual intercourse in the third stanza. However this could be the result of a nudge given by her partner. When comparing the attitudes in the poem with those of today, it is quite surprising to see how similar they actually are in the sense that the poems are quite open when expressing “prohibited” subjects. The attitudes towards men and those towards women in the poems are visibly different. In the three male poems, as the poets are male, the man is the dominant figure of the relationship and does most of the talking. In agreement with the three poets if Christina Rossetti’s poem as she explains us that she shares their opinion that the male is the dominant figure of the couple. Andrew Marvell’s poem demonstrates the male need for sex. In general the poems show the gender discrimination of the time. Although things have clearly improved since then, there is still quite a long way to go.