Imagine you are Aunt Pegg. After one week of looking after the children, you write a letter to their parents

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Annie Tonnu

Period 4 Pre-AICE English

October 6, 2011

Prompt: Imagine you are Aunt Pegg. After one week of looking after the children, you write a letter to their parents in which you:

  • Give your impressions of the children.
  • Give an account of your progress with them so far.
  • Tell your plans for the next week.

Write your letter. Base it on what you have read in Passage A.

October 6, 2011

Dear Dad/Mom of the kids

I’ve been looking after you children for a week so today I write this letter just to let you know how we’ve been doing, and tell you the plans that we will do for the next week.

From the very first time that you asked me to take care of the kids while you go on business, I’m extremely excited because I will have a chance to get to know them better. Do you remember that our dad was in the military? I was hoping that I could teach them to be good “young soldiers” like my dad did to me and you.

During a week, the kids seemed very mischievous, they didn’t listen to anything I said, so I had to give them some chores as punishments. They were not excited at all, I wondered why. Are they always like that or they just don’t like me? Besides, as I realized, you are way too indulgent to the kids so they are not very well-behaved, I will work on that for you. Here is something that we did during the first week.

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On the first day, the kids had a fight. I gave them the exactly punishment that our dad did to us when we were bad, “hands on the heads”, and they didn’t take it seriously so I had to snarl at them to make them scared and will pay attention. The kids think I’m evil, creepy and scary because I don’t smile; I’m strict; I’m stealthy, and I don’t give them what they want, but I have to be harder on them ‘cause you’re so easygoing on them, and nobody keeps smiling at you when you’re in the military.

I ...

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The essay writer enters very imaginatively and effectively into the context of a stay in a farming community. She also makes a very convincing job of putting herself in the role of a strict Aunt who is determined to bring her nephews/nieces into line. The military references are most appropriate, as are the references to the father of herself and her sister (the intended recipient of the letter). Sentence and paragraph construction is competent, though there are a few grammatical slips. 4 stars