Beryl’s divided nature and lack of vision threaten to destroy her. Her life has been curtailed by a lack of choice and creativity has been directed inwards resulting in a self destructive narcissistic relationship: “Lovely, lovely hair.” The repetition explains that in place of a real lover Beryl loves herself. Having been dissatisfied with her lot in life she seeks to enliven it with romantic fantasies. Her behaviour ‘standing under the lamp if a man came to dinner’ or ‘pretending to be a little girl when asked to play the guitar’ serves only to attract the attention to herself. Yet she is disgusted by this behaviour and blames it on her ‘false self’. Beneath Beryl’s shallow pre-occupation there is a deep anxiety - a soul searching for the truth. To find out whom she really is when no single identity has emerged. There is a constant battle raging between a desire to be natural and true, and an overpowering craving for fulfilment.
Beryl is under the impression that sexual satisfaction is what she yearns for; yet it is her identity – knowledge of her true self that alone will quench that thirst. She imagines a lover while she gazes at the mirror for self gratification: “Yes, my dear, there’s no doubt about it, you really are a lovely little thing.” Yet the moment does not last. There is no lover professing undying adoration – only a young woman hopelessly in love with her confused notion of love. Only the image of Beryl’s loveliness is real and this taunts her when she gazes at herself: “You were not made for suffering…Smile!” Beryl cannot perceive that she is deluding herself and plunging deeper into a world of false hope and feeble promises that are slowly eroding the very essence of her existence.
Beryl is incapable of distinguishing between reality and fantasy. She fluctuates between moments where her false self dominates and her ‘trilling laugh’ resounds throughout the house. However during instants of critical examination, she ruefully laments her state, “I know I’m silly and spiteful and vain.”, and woefully acknowledges her façade: “False- false as ever.” The simile enables readers to perceive that Beryl has never been able to embrace reality and the harsh facts of life. However, buried deep inside her is a desire to be rid of this smokescreen: “She saw the real Beryl – a shadow…a shadow.” The ellipsis lends a sense of anticlimax which in turn characterises Beryl’s character. Her true self is nothing more than an echo of who she ought to be: “Faint and unsubstantial she shone.” Mansfield deliberately employs the words ‘shone’ and ‘radiance’ to describe Beryl’s true self to allow readers to perceive the struggle for truth characterized by light and the enveloping darkness of her bogus personality.
Beryl’s dysfunctional personality is coupled with a thwarted love which results in her flirting with her sister’s husband, Stanley. Again she emphasizes it is her “false self (who) stood beside him and leaned against his shoulder on purpose.” The desire for attention consumes her. For all her practical skills and vitality, Beryl is imprisoned by the power of her subconscious mind. She cannot find solace in the rich inner life like Linda and Kezia or in the quiet contentedness demonstrated by her mother. They all possess qualities that Beryl is aware of yet incapable and perhaps reluctant to call her own: “Mother’s deliberate way of doing things was simply maddening. It was old age, she supposed, loftily.” Beryl believes the solution to her problems is ‘leading her own life’ but she has a hazy notion of what that is. Her destructive and negative nature has imprisoned her in a claustrophobic world where her ideals are in constant conflict and any attempts to retrieve herself from the murky depths of self delusion don’t last very long.
Katherine Mansfield broke away from many of the conventions which constrained women in New Zealand from seeking independent destinies. Rebellion, which was second nature to the creator, is rare in her characters who tend to lead circumscribed and frustrating lives which they seem unable to change for the better. Mansfield approaches the major forces of life through comparatively trivial incidents and in her story “Prelude” allows her readers access to the emotional turmoil of a young woman who longs to be “rich and mysterious and good” but has tragically failed.
