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Infidelity

The guilt was becoming increasingly unbearable. I couldn’t take the strain on my mind anymore; images of that night and what I had done kept flashing before my eyes every time I blinked, every time I closed me eyes to think for a moment and every time I shut my eyes and tried to sleep. I couldn’t, I couldn’t sleep because their faces kept haunting my mind – I was becoming an insomniac. His betrayal was the cause of my pain and personal anguish. His cunning and deceptive ways were what drove me insane and react in a violent and cold-blooded manner. Her innocence was no longer her beauty, her deceit was more than heartbreak for me – my world, my life, my dreams were shattered. Disloyalty, unfaithfulness and distrust had driven me to the height of insanity – I was losing control of myself. I couldn’t bear the guilt any longer. I had to tell somebody. I had to confess my sin, my wrongdoing.

She was the most beautiful girl that I had ever seen; oceanic blue eyes that you could dive into, hair so fine it seemed as if you were caressing silk and her skin was as smooth as velvet. She had a radiant glow and charm about her that far surpassed any other. We were introduced at a wedding ceremony and we hit it off big time. We connected and bonded at an amazing rate that it was unbelievable. Sooner than we both knew it, we were engaged and a wedding would follow after six months. Joy and happiness were racing through my, our lives at incredible scale – it was almost, as the saying goes, too good to be true. In time however, as the months rolled by, I began to experience a change in myself – unaware of what it could be due to, stress and tension from work I guessed or perhaps due to an insatiable work environment and the decline in stimulus in general. The duties of work seemed tedious and routinely, I realised that I had lost interest in office work and employment within the company. Everything there was repetitive and monotonous.

I used to get irritated and became easily agitated at the most insignificant issues that surrounded us both. Claire was worried about me and reasoned that I may need to consult a shrink. I was NOT going mad. I had no reason to take any such step into consideration – I was merely stressed out with work and wedding preparations – surely it wasn’t abnormal to experience what I was going through at the time, was it? It was pre-wedding jitters I was sure. However, Claire and I soon found that we argued and quarreled incessantly over the most minor and meaningless things. We had ups and downs in our communication but despite all of this, I still loved her. Only a few months remained till the wedding.

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There was indeed a lot of pressure and requirement on me as the groom to be. Stacks of “to do and to finalize” duties needed to be chased up. The wedding arrangement, a sacred and holy institution of the uniting of man and women who would encourage, strengthen and care for each other in “sickness and in health” was ironically seeming like a burdensome affair now what with all the arrangements and organising that had to be accomplished. This event was to be the happiest and most significant day in my life yet at this moment in time I ...

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