I cheered up a little auntie and uncle were thinking positive, so should I. I wouldn’t allow myself to think of India again. I had a new home and family now.
Living here was quite the same routine, as it was back in India. This made me feel more comfortable and at home. I help auntie prepare the dinner and clean the dishes away. I have my own bedroom, which is decorated with pretty white flowers. It is beautiful, nothing like where we used to sleep in India. We had to share a bedroom with all my four sisters and there were two to a bed. It was also very cold during the night.
I started school three weeks into the term. The head teacher Mr. Gardner lead to a class, where there was loud discussion going on. I didn’t understand what it was about as all the pupils were talking way too fast. The teacher said something and all the talking and shouting feel silent at once. Everyone started staring at me. I was wearing my brand new school uniform, it was a bit big for me but my auntie told me I would grow into it. She gave me carrier bag to put my school books into. I was introduced to the class and given a seat right under the teachers nose. I felt scared and uncomfortable. The students behind me kept pointing at me and sniggering. All my lessons continued in this terrifying way. No one talked to me, it seemed like they chose not to like me because of my skin colour.
At lunchtime I found myself alone in a classroom. I had no idea on what I was supposed to do. I watched everyone leave the class in their groups, prattling on. I was hungry and tired, and my brain was spinning with new words.
When the bell for after school went, I was left alone once again. I anxiously left the classroom, and headed home. My uncle had told me the route, so I started walking. It felt like everyone was watching me.
My heart was thumping painfully against my ribcage. I whipped around gazing in all directions but the darkness had enveloped me, so all I could make out were peculiar shapes, which scared me even more. Now you may be wondering why I am behaving in such a weird fashion. I’m lost in a foreign country and know no one. Fear was slowly turning into paranoia and paranoia was turning into hysteria. How did allow myself to get into such a mess. I had walked for miles; suddenly I heard the crack of thunder overhead, moments later the rain pattered onto the ground. Brilliant this is exactly what I need right now, a storm. Maybe the weather was trying to echo all of my emotions, and succeeding without an effort.
I continued walking talking small cautious steps. Reassuring myself that someone will stop and help me, but the place was deserted. The climate was very cold, different to what I was used to back in India. My clothes clung onto my skin, and my feet in my leather sandals were pleading to be covered. I felt very cold and lonely all at the same time terrified. I had walked for miles now not knowing where was. I was due home for three thirty. All of a sudden in the far distance I could make out a young girl approaching towards me. As she came closer, I recognized her from school she was one of the girls who was pointing and laughing. I prayed to god she would stop and help me. She was walking in the opposite direction. She saw me and stopped, she stared at me from top to bottom.
“Hello you speak English, no?” said the girl. As she spoke she emphasized each word and she gestured wildly with her hands.
“Mujhe malum nahe hai, kai may kaha hu? Mujhe gar jahna hai,” (I need to go home I’m lost) I tried
explaining hoping she would understand. My auntie had made me learn the address, so I recited that to her. I think she understood. She smiled and put her hand out towards me,”Mary”she said with a glistening smile. I shook her hand and replied “Sophia”. She kept hold of my hand and started leading me in another direction. The rain had calmed down, but there was still a little drizzle.
Finally we entered street, which I recognized, it was my auntie’s house. I pointed at it. Mary left me at the gate she waved and walked off. I was so grateful to her. I walked up the garden path and knocked on the big red door. Auntie greeted me with a stern angry look.
“Aap time dekha hai,”(have you seen the time?) said my auntie in as stubborn voice. As I entered the kitchen I inhaled a deep sweet smell of herbs and spices. The dinner was being prepared. My auntie laid out chillies for me to chop. After I had done this I went upstairs to change my clothes. My uncle had returned from work and looked exhausted. When I went through the living room he looked at me disgracefully. I ate my dinner, and then my uncle started lecturing about how grateful I should be on all he is doing for me. I helped auntie clear away the dishes and soon after went to bed. I was dreading what was facing me the following day at school.
I got up the next day and got ready for another nightmare at school. My uncle dropped me off by the school gates, before he set off to work. I felt insecure. As I was walking through the playground I could hear groups of people standing and prattling on. I couldn’t understand why people might want to hurt me. “Oi, I’m talking to you!” I looked up startled as one of the boys ran up the path towards me, barring my way. I stepped to aside so did he, and then again. I turned around and there was another one. Some more of their friends sauntered over, jeering and within seconds. I was trapped in middle of aloud taunting ring. I tried to break through the circle, but they just laughed. At this moment I felt terrified. They were shouting words at me that I just about half understood. I put my hands over my ears and started reciting verses from the holy quraan. They finally scattered when the saw the head teachers car pull up into the car park. I was left bewildered and scared for the rest of the day.
I had been here for a week now and nothing changed, things just got worse and worse. Going home wasn’t even something to look forward to the same old routine day in day out. Cooking, cleaning, and sleeping. Days, weeks and months went by in misery and sadness.
I work on my uncles stall every Saturday, selling asian clothing. Not many people come to us. The majority of white people that go by give me a terrible look; probably thinking what is she doing here. Sometimes I could ask myself the same question. Every week I stand here clinging onto my coat to keep myself warm.
Leading this nightmare of a life on for six months I get told that I am going back to India. What could be better, I get to meet my mum and sisters and all my friends. I think my life isn’t so bad after all. I wasn’t only going back to India I was also going to get MARRIED. What has my mother done she is getting me married. I can’t believe this! Everyone has made decisions for me assuming I will be all right with them. No one has asked or listened to me. They have made a life changing decision without even breathing a word to me about it, until it has all been decided. I lie in my bed every night crying myself to sleep thinking my life is in such a mess and I have no control over it.
I have stopped going to school, a brighter side to this entire situation. My flight is due next Wednesday. Auntie is acting very nice towards me; she has suddenly changed since she heard the dreaded news. She is probably pleased that she is getting rid of me, for all the trouble I have caused. She has bought me some new clothes that I am going to wear when I go back. I am getting scared day by day, for which stranger is awaiting me when I get of the plane. For the first time I am dreading meeting my family. What have they landed me in?
The day has arrived. I am leaving this western life behind. My uncle and auntie drop me off a at the airport terminal. I am alone with no one to help me, just like when I arrived. The only difference being I’ve got bigger problems to resolve.
After all the waiting and searching I get onto the plane. It had all hit me for real now; in nine hours I will be meeting this stranger who is going to be my husband! all will be revealed when I step off this plane.
The plane took off into the racing clouds, and then soared through them into blue. I can see green fields and red houses far below me, sliding out until they become the sea. I closed my eyes. Maybe I would never come back to England again. My whole life has changed into a nightmare within a blink of an eye.