jack and jill newspaper

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Re-offender puts lives at risk

Ex-convict Mr. Jones was held in custody yesterday for the bribery of 2 local children, Jack and Jill Bramcote. The pair of children aged no less than 12 were bribed with a pack of sweets to climb up the green hill formally known as “the death trap” to collect a pale of water. The 2 children unaware of the great danger accepted the offer to consequently risk their lives.

Whilst on their voyage up the death trap to the derelict well Jack passed out from exhaustion and dehydration, falling 40 meters to the ground. Unfortunately Jill came plummeting after trying to save her be-loved brother.

When questioned all Mr Jones had to say was, “stupid naive kids!” But of cause we all no Mr. Jones is very used to the “you have a right to remain silent, anything you do say may be held against you in court” concept as this isn’t his first time in trouble with the police now is it Mr Jones?! Mr Jones is due to be in court next week for a number of charges, one of which aiding and betting.

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Haunted Happenings

Two local 9 year old children Jack and Jill Morris were found in a critical state at the bottom of the green hill on Saturday evening. It’s thought that the 2 children were planning on climbing the hill to prove their belief that the derelict well is not haunted and is not the home of “bloody Mary”.  A girl from the children’s school explains the myths,”...well for generations people that have lived in the village of Nottingham ...

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