Tom and Sarah bluster their way through "for better or for worse", like a pig through sewage. Tom Leezak and his wife Sarah return from their Honeymoon in Europe ready for a divorce. The time away from their families has been an absolute disaster, starting with them getting chucked out of a five star hotel in Switzerland for overloading the electrical system with a sex toy, and both Sarah and Tom almost sleep with other people - in Sarah's case, it was her ex, Peter (Christian Kane).
Everyone told them they’re too young to get married, but nobody told them that they’re too stupid. Accidents happen to them like see-through tops happen to Holly Valance; they’re nearly constant and they’re always bad.
Back at home, Tom and Sarah begin to realise how much they truly love
each other, but can they get past the nightmare of their honeymoon?
Particularly when Sarah’s snooty parents (David Rasche and Veronica
Cartwright) are so delighted that their daughter isn’t with a loser like
Tom anymore.
Both Ashton Kucher and Brittany Murphy are gifted comic actors in their
own way, and they made the most of the script that writer Sam Harper
threw their way.
Unfortunately, neither Tom nor Sarah are particularly likable or
sympathetic. For example, during a few days in glorious Venice, Tom
abandons his lovely wife to spend the afternoon watching sport in a local
bar. Hardly the actions of a new groom still in the throes of wedded bliss!
Just Married is a smug and sloppy romantic comedy, which means that the no-count son-in-law will, at last, admit his own error and drive his car into Sarah's indestructible front gate in an effort to get her attention. When she doesn't come out, he speaks directly into the Front Gate's Camera, all tears and sweetness, "There's a million things I don't know, but the one thing that I do know Sarah, is that I love you", he snuffles as his little rebel wife watches on her bedroom television.
The joke is marriage itself and the pathetic spectacle of two people at the opposite ends of an IQ test, expecting to have anything to say to each other after two weeks in the lap of luxury. For one reason or another, sex has been left on hold, which only adds to the catalogue of mishaps.
Unsurprisingly, the central issue during the honeymoon is sex, mainly not having it. With everything going so wrong, due to Tom's inability to behave like a grown-up (he acts out when he can't watch baseball, calls hotel clerks names, chases Peter who is Sarah’s ex with a fire poker).
The ending works surprisingly well and the tearful reunion is arguably the
most satisfying that I’ve ever seen and is well executed. Both Sarah and Tom work tirelessly to generate some semblance of sexual chemistry and they fail, in fact, there's far more chemistry between Sarah and Peter.
Personally, this is my most favourite film of all time; it is brilliant. I think it is highly amusing and hilarious. I love it!