Learning for Life?

The image of my father, whose life

Was spent like this,

Thinking of death, to the exclusion

Of other sensual matters, so in the end that life

Was easy to give up, since

It contained nothing”

Mirror Image, Louise Gück                                              

It obviously scares some people that they may turn out just like their parents. I wouldn’t want to turn out as mine. So they may have good lives but I want to learn things for myself and have my own experiences.

Phillip Larkin’s “This Be the Verse” opening line is “They fuck you up, your mum and dad” and in a way it is true, “They may not mean to, but they do”. He’s right, parents often try to do what’s best for their children but often don’t realise what the children are feeing or want. I guess from own experiences that I agree that parents do “fuck you up”. My dad left when I was two, a day after my sister’s fifth birthday. I feel he let me down; he doesn’t ring, write or hardly ever see me. He’s not interested. This has affected me a lot. I see people hugging their father and I wish it was me. I want to know a Christmas where my whole family is there. This is the opposite from Neil’s overacting father, mine doesn’t act at all. Children need a balance between the two a father or parents who are interested but not so much to try and run your life for you. I believe that parents have a lot to do with how you turn out and what you’re like.

Parents probably have the hardest job in the world due to the fact they’re making and almost running someone else’s life. The pressure of messing it all up must be extreme. I don’t think that there is a parent somewhere in the world that doesn’t sometimes feel that they’ve made some mistake in the way they’ve brought their children up. Everyone must feel that they could have done something better. In the Dead Poets Society Neil’s parents thought that they were doing the best thing for Neil. But they were really only driving him further away from them, further into darkness, despair and suicide. Neil feels trapped by his father’s presence and commands. Even when Neil died it looked as if he had died in a cage of his father’s possessions. Neil’s father wants Neil to do what he did, follow in his footsteps and follow the tradition. The whole school echoes with tradition, the old photos beside the new photos, the traditional way of teaching, the services, even one of the school’s four pillars is Tradition. There is no escape from it, Neil notices this and finds his escape through death.

In Mary Shelly’s Frankenstein, Frankenstein breaks tradition by creating his monster. He creates life, which in turn creates pain. He realises this and destroys the one thing that keeps the monster happy, its fellow monster. He angers the monster and pushes it to hatred and revenge. He is just another parent doing a bad job. He’s being selfish to benefit himself.

Why do parents often drive their own children away by their mistakes? Why do parents try to correct their mistakes through their children’s lives? Alanis Morissette’s song Perfect is all about parents trying to re-live their youth through their child’s.

“Sometimes its never quite enough

If you’re flawless, then you’ll win my love

Don’t forget to win first place

Don’t forget to keep that smile on your face

Be a good boy

Try a little harder

You’ve got to measure up

And make me prouder

How long before you screw it up

How many times do I have to tell you to hurry up

With everything I do for you

The least you can do is keep quiet

Be a good girl

You’ve gotta try a little harder

That simply wasn’t good enough

To make us proud

I’ll live through you

I’ll make you what I never was

If you’re the best, then maybe so am I

Compared to him compared to her

I’m doing this for your own dam good

You’ll make up for what I blew

What’s the problem…why are you crying

Be a good boy

Push a little farther now

That wasn’t fast enough

To make us happy

We’ll love you just the way you are if your perfect”

Perfect, Alanis Morissette

Alanis says everything in this song I’ve been trying to say. The song applies to Neil Perry and every other child in the world with overacting parents.

I don’t think anyone should have to pretend to be what their not for anyone. Even if it means hurting them. You have to be what you are; you shouldn’t have to be “Perfect”. I don’t believe you can be perfect or even close to it, everyone and thing has a flaw. However visible it is they will have one. The term “perfect” to me is a fake, it means nothing. All it ever does is cause pain and hate. To me people that say things are perfect are not just kidding other people they’re kidding themselves. You can’t even do something perfect. Nothing is perfect. Everyone in their own unique way is wonderful and excellent though. It just depends on the eye of the beholder.

Another major part of learning is what you learn at school. It’s what you learn from your teachers and friends. My friends have taught me how to trust, laugh and have a good time. Without them school would be unbearable. My friends are the base of my happiness. They all do their best to cheer you up when your down, you learn to rely on them. All my funniest and happiest moments are when I’ve been with my friends. We’ve had hilarious school trips, matches and nights in the boarding house. But nothing compares to the amount of support that they have always supplied me with. We’ve all taught each other many things. Some of the things I’ve learned from them are what I think are the most important things I’ll ever learn.  

Another angle of learning is what everyone thinks of when the word “learning” is mentioned. The school way of learning, this includes education and teachers. Both of which seem to always loom over a subject. Teachers have a huge influence in whether or not you like the subject they teach. I had Mr.Watson for three years for Science. He never did once notice that half the class were asleep or passed out because of his awful smell. We use to sit and throw toys that would stick on he ceiling and wait until they fell off in the middle of one of his boring points. We also played the game “Nob” were one person would say “nob” quietly and then it would go round the class or even between two people getting louder and louder until finally the teacher would notice. Many people were sent out. So I guess I didn’t like chemistry, because of the teacher, but I treated it as a “dos” subject and now I do triple science; its weird how some things turn out.

I may have had some bad teachers but I have had a lot of good ones too, though not everything I learned from them was important or even their subject. But I guess l did learn something.

Learning is what life is about. Everyday we learn something new. Parents, teachers and education all come under learning. I think everything in the world can be put under the title ‘learning’.

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