Like a fish out of water.

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Like a fish out of water

28th May

2pm - Well, this is officially the worst ever day of my whole entire life. How could I do that to myself? I hate me. I hate the way that I work. I hate every little fibre of my being with a force so strong that it could mutilate the face of Kate Moss.

4pm - The school rang home, apparently running riot and ruining art coursework is not acceptable. Apparently this also means I am expelled.

Oh joy, wondrous joy. The room is literally filling up and expanding with the happiness and ecstasy that I have caused myself. Not.

Why can’t they see that all that I want is some focus on me and my problems, not the skinny ‘beautiful people’. What is so wrong with their perfect lives anyway? They have it all, the money and the looks. I mean, what’s wrong with paying some notice to a small mousy, grey eyed girl of 14, who sits in class, unnoticed and misunderstood by every single human being, enclosed within the prison they call an educational learning centre?

Maybe, if I curl up and cry for the next 40 years someone will sit up and take notice, and throw my a ring of ameliorate

10pm – Great, as if life just could not get any better, my boyfriend decides I am so much of a loser, that he can’t even face me to inform me that our relationship is completely and utterly over. My gorgeous Sebastian, with your curly black hair, green eyes and perfect skin, how in hell could you do this to me?!  We were so happy, so in love…every step I took with you was like walking on air. We were going to live happily ever after, reside on a mountain top in a province of France, milk goats, grow our own food, have babies. And what’s this? You throw it all away for no reason.

Thinking about it, I
have put on some weight recently. And I know guys like skinny girls, and really if you look at me the first thought in your head is not, ‘skinny’, but ‘fat’. That’s it, that’s the reason! Seb has gone off me because of my weight! There we go, problem solved.

Join now!

10.05pm

 Seb, I love you so much, please you can not do this to me. You make me whole; you make my problems fade away. I can’t do life without you...Our walks through the streets talking about nothing, lying by the river doing nothing. Our nothingness of all is what binds us together. I miss you. Please. Don’t hurt me like this, don’t do this to me. I’m your Laura, your love, your soul-mate. Every tear I weep burns my skin for you. Every word I utter wants you to hear it. You’ve pulled out my heart ...

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