• Join over 1.2 million students every month
  • Accelerate your learning by 29%
  • Unlimited access from just £6.99 per month

Lliving the teenage dream

Extracts from this document...

Introduction

?Living the teenage dream? It has been said that the teenage years are full of problems, temptations and pressures amounting to ?nothing but trouble and misery?. Discuss some of the problems associated with adolescence and decide whether or not you agree with the above statement. In the modern world , the teenager years are ? the best of your life ? but they are also an incredibly difficult time .teenagers in the modern world go through a lot of stress but also a lot of good times . Many teenagers are faced with friendship issues. Many teenagers turn to their friends are of the same age and are dealing with similar issues ,but on the other hand your friends may give you false advice .many teenagers ...read more.

Middle

pressure on the average adolescent .secondary school can end up seeming like a relentless succession of homework and revision and this can lead to high levels of stress and anxiety for teens. Some parents put a lot of pressure on their children to do well in school and this can cause a lot of tension between parents and their children for many teenagers , education is simply a nightmare . Many children experiment with drugs and alcohol in their teenage years. most teenagers who take drugs or drink alcohol are pressured by their friend or are just inquisitive about the effects of these substances on the body. ...read more.

Conclusion

your parents do so much for you that you don?t apretate like so your washing and ironing they cook your meals they give you money and for some they give you freedom to do whatever you want .on the other hand some peoples parents are very strict but your parents are always their for you and they always will be In conclusion I believe that the teenage years have there good and there bad sides .some people love them and other despise them ,I do not agree that the teenager years are full of preoblems temptations and pressures some teenagers lides may contain this but not ever teenagers and I strongly disagree with the stero type that every teen is in a gang and wears a hoody ...read more.

The above preview is unformatted text

This student written piece of work is one of many that can be found in our GCSE Writing to Inform, Explain and Describe section.

Found what you're looking for?

  • Start learning 29% faster today
  • 150,000+ documents available
  • Just £6.99 a month

Here's what a star student thought of this essay

3 star(s)

Response to the question

This answer is fairly limited in it's response to the question. A lot of what is said appears to be from a first person narrative (naturally, as the writer is a teenager), but the danger here is that relying to ...

Read full review

Response to the question

This answer is fairly limited in it's response to the question. A lot of what is said appears to be from a first person narrative (naturally, as the writer is a teenager), but the danger here is that relying to heavily on the experiences of your own life can limit the extent to which your comments reflect the rest of the target population (those with which your essay is concerned). In parts the answer is humorous, though perhaps not intentionally, and the candidate raises some valid points throughout, though there are issues with the expression, meaning that some of the impact of what they have to say is lost. The candidate should look to ensure their choice of language helps shapes exactly what they want to say - do not simply throw words together without thinking them through, as this will lead to a careless essay.

I like the use of other people's points of view and trying to understand some of the more debauched temptations (e.g. recreational drug-taking), as it shows there is good adherence to the command word in the question, "Discuss". The structure could do with a little work, as the candidate's ideas would be more powerful if constructed more orderly and coherently.

Level of analysis

The Level of Analysis isn't really marked here, but the Level of Discussion (AO1 and AO2) are.

The candidate provides a few good points about the stresses of teenage years, and the dangers of the good times and the life lessons in the bad times. This is a nicely insightful discussion but could do with clearer expression, because a lot of the impact of points like "Some parents put a lot of pressure on their children to do well in school and this can cause a lot of tension between parents and their children for many teenagers , education is simply a nightmare . (sic)" A simple re-read will tell you this is a good point made badly. A better understanding of the punctuation and vocabulary available and where to put it will help this point become more potent, as now, it reads as rushed and unprofessional, which can be avoided if the candidate only takes their time (I realise this is hard considering the exam is conducted under timed conditions, but this may be another area that required work).

I would also argue the need for a better conclusion. The introductory paragraph is very good and nicely introduces the topic at the same time as addressing the question, and whilst the question is addressed again in the last paragraph, the candidate introduces some new points such as the stereotypical image/fashion of a troublemaking teenager (wearing a hoodie). Conclusions shouldn't really see any new points brought up and should instead be a summary of the points made earlier in the essay, so watch out for this because some exam boards may not accept that you've written a proper conclusion if you introduce more points.

Quality of writing

The Quality of Written Communication (QWC) needs quite a bit of work. As well as the frequent spelling errors ("expernsice" instead of expensive; "lides" instead of lives, etc.) there are issues with sentence syntax that may lead to confusion in understanding what the candidate has said. The candidate should re-read and spell-check everything they have written here, as there are frequent errors that may see the candidate loose all possible QWC marks because, in a subject so heavily orientated around good use of English, the candidate should be able to spell without making silly errors like the ones above.


Did you find this review helpful? Join our team of reviewers and help other students learn

Reviewed by sydneyhopcroft 11/07/2012

Read less
Not the one? Search for your essay title...
  • Join over 1.2 million students every month
  • Accelerate your learning by 29%
  • Unlimited access from just £6.99 per month

See related essaysSee related essays

Related GCSE Writing to Inform, Explain and Describe essays

  1. Trials of Life.

    At the hospital they said they had to keep him here to run more tests. Duncan hardly slept that night and stood by his son who was in the hospital. The doctors told him to go home and rest the next day but what he did was to pack some

  2. The day that my life changed.

    For the rest of the evening I tried to forget, id leave it until the morning and it would all be ok, we all sat down that evening and had a big girly night in and it was great, I had forgotten for a while.

  1. The worst week of my life

    "Funny, that, where did you think you were going?" He enquired sharply. Erm...just to the toilet, I hesitated in distress. People always told me I wasn't a good liar; and it felt like he was reading me like a book. "You didn't eat the pasta because it was not to your liking.

  2. forbidden love

    She could see Chad leaning against the wall. She waved at him; he looked amazingly handsome even in a pair of faded blue jeans and a plain black Nike top. She cautiously climbed out the window making her way down the wooden trellis that was attached to the wall of the house.

  1. Anaylze how media affects young peoples life's today

    Then we see the female and male house-mates arguing about gender discrimination and this argument is first shown in long shot to include everybody at the table then the shots kept changing between medium shots and close-ups but there were no extreme close-ups.

  2. A letter to the Jem and Scout many years later when Boo Radley is ...

    I sometimes wish the judge refused this suggestion and forced me to go to jail. My father didn't use chains on me to make me stay at home like people said. He did worse. He made me feel useless. He told me that if I were to go outside again, I would destroy any dignity the Radley name had.

  1. Creative writing - It was supposed to be a great adventure, searching for lost ...

    There was only a bed and a sink! I was astonished to see hardly anything. I looked around again to see if I missed anything. There were plain walls, one little sink and a rug on the floor. Those thing were the only things in the room.

  2. How the film Jaws creates tension

    In this scene, Spielberg has used a couple of false alarms making the audience sit on the end of their seats with fear.

  • Over 160,000 pieces
    of student written work
  • Annotated by
    experienced teachers
  • Ideas and feedback to
    improve your own work