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Loneliness - personal account

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Loneliness As child I was always very happy. My childhood was wonderful, and although I was an only child I was never alone, and I thought that I would never be alone until recently. My parents were always there for me, they gave me support and reassurance whenever I need it and they encouraged me to believe that I could do anything that I wanted to do. When I was ten I told them both that I wanted to be a doctor, I think they were pleased by this because they were always saying that I could do, although what pleased them the most that I had ambition and that I wasn't going to end up in a dead end job that wasn't going anywhere that I hated, either way they were happy. With all this love and attention you could say I was spoilt, but I don't think I was, I don't think that you can ever have too much love but, as I was later to find out, you can sometimes not have enough. When I was fifthteen my parents died in a train crash, as you can imagine this was a horrific time for me and for the first time in my life I was alone. For the first week of my loneliness I stayed with my grandma, she was always really nice to me. ...read more.


Normally when I say this people say "Oh, that's nice dear." Or "I can see you being a doctor." But Sarah just laughed and said, "you'll never be a doctor, why don't you set you sights a little lower, at least then you wont be disappointed." I didn't no what to say, id never had a un-encouraging word said against me, I replied with, "I didn't ask for your opinion, I said that I'm going to be a doctor and I will." And with that she hit me across the face and screamed at me to go up stairs and not to come down. I was in shock, what had I done wrong, I know that I was a bit rude but I didn't deserve that. Sam came up a few moments later with some ice cubes wrapped up in a towel. "Are you ok?" his voice was comforting to me, but I still couldn't speak so I just nodded. Sam sat down on the bed and told me that since his dad left them Sarah was always on the edge and it took only a little thing to push her off and then she would go berserk and hit him. I could see in his face that he was scared off her and so was I. ...read more.


Sarah never came out of the house ad by the time the fire brigade got there, there wasn't much of the house left. They never found Sarah's body, they said she must have stayed in that room and just burned to death. The police of course wanted to talk to me, but they believed me when I told them especially when Sam came and told then what she was like. Even though I never liked her, I never wished her dead and I felt sorry for her, she was obveriously just lonely, just like Sam and I. Sam and I went to live with my grandma, she said that I had changed in appearance and personality and she was right I had. That August I got my exam results and my parents would have been proud. I didn't do to bad considering what happened only two days before, but do know that I could have done better. I have this dream that one day someone will fill this hole inside of me, this loneliness will fade and I will be truly happy again. But this is just a dream because no matter how much you live someone they can never replace your parents. My parents were my safety net, my reassurance. My encouragement and now I don't know where to get that from, so this aloneness looks as if it will be with me forever, and I may get used to it, but I'll never like it. ...read more.

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