Sound familiar?
She had taken her last breath and was no longer with us.
I was at work and my mum was saying that my cousin had passed away. I couldn’t believe it had actually happened. The past few weeks had been like an incredible journey and this was now the end. The end being she was no longer here, never to be seen again.
She had had cancer for the past seven years, battling and battling until it finally beat her at just 20 years old. The doctors had said there was nothing more they can do because the cancer had spread to virtually everywhere in a very short amount of time. They did exactly say how long she had, but they thought it would be a few days but she even proved them wrong on that. She lived for another four amazing weeks!
The last words I said to her was that I loved her and goodnight because she was going to sleep, I’m so glad I got to tell her that because I wanted her to know.
The funeral was the biggest challenge, actually having to say goodbye. So many people were there because she was such an inspiration, a whole sea of pink, her favourite colour. Thousands of flowers in all shapes and sizes but always pink. It just proved how special she was to so many people. We all went to the pub she used to work at afterwards and it felt like she was actually there with us which was a huge comfort. She had wanted us all to get drunk and have a good time so we did as we were told!
I have never lost anyone before and being so close to my age too it was scary. It’s still hard now when I see pink or hear her name. The toughest time was when I got my G.C.S.E results and she wasn’t here for me to tell her. I even went to text her which now I’ve found out is perfectly normal.
The whole time she was ill I never thought she was actually leave us because she was such a brave fighter so her not being here is hard to handle. She was never down and always looked on the bright side of life and never once complained even though she was in pain.
You have to look on the positive side though and think you are still here and she wouldn’t like you to be miserable and waste my life. Life is too short and you have to live it to the fullest because some people are not here to do that. I have taking on her optimistic way of thinking and look on the bright side. It has also brought my family a lot closer which I know my cousin would be pleased about. We all had to stick together to get through it and will continue to stick together through good times and bad. It makes you know that no matter what your family will be there for you.
So for those of you that have been in a similar situation you should remember you are not alone and there’s always someone to talk to. I find talking about my emotions helps and keeps me remembering good times.
