I began to feel different from everyone else, since my friends were graduating, celebrating, and eager to move on to new chapters in their lives. I especially found it interesting to see how others around me dealt with my news. Some acted suddenly distant for lack of words, some dramatized the whole thing, and some acted perfectly normal, which felt the most comfortable for me.
Within days, I had packed up all of my college belongings and headed home with my family ready to face this unexpected hurdle. I immediately turned to my best friend from high school. She had gone through cancer in our senior year, and because of watching her courageously overcome so many obstacles four years before, I knew she could give me the fuel I needed for my own battle.
As my surgery date to remove the tumor got closer, I was experiencing intense physical pain. Part of me wanted it over with and the other part of me was coming unglued. The wall of strength I had built was crumbling. I was so angry that I had to go through this when all those around me were going on with their lives. I spent a lot of time asking, why me?
But something wonderful started happening in the midst of all this. I began to see all the beauty around me in a wholly new way. The smallest things started to catch my eye. I noticed how colorful and serene a sunset could be when you took time to enjoy it. Blades of grass cascading along hillsides looked a brighter shade of green. A small child’s laughter became an instant remedy for a bad day.
Miraculously, I woke up from surgery grateful to be alive and well. Words cannot describe the happiness I felt at that special moment--to be given a second chance. My recovery was a long process as I learned to walk again and do simple tasks. I remember when I went home and studied my bald head for the first time. It shouldn’t have surprised me, but it did! Ironically, a month before I knew I had a tumor, I cut my long hair short and donated it to the American Cancer Society. I discovered there’s a huge difference between short and bald!
Life can sure throw a good curve ball when you least expect it. Yet I’ve had this new start, and I’m enjoying every minute of it. I used to hear people say you should dream the unimaginable, and I always preferred to plan instead. Now, dreaming big and following my heart’s desire without knowing how it will end up is the only thing I have time to do.
