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Mr Rochester's Diary

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Mr Rochester's Diary Dear Diary, The one thing that I cherished and loved the most in the world who was here with me today, going to be my wife has now left me and is never coming back. The dreaded secret that I have feared would be spoken of has now been revealed and just as I thought, left me torn and devastated. I am a lonely man once again and my heart is torn into two. This morning I was in a bit of a panic and I was rushing Jane to get ready, I just wanted the wedding to be over so I could get on with my life and be truly happy. I noticed how pale her face was and I asked her "am I cruel in my love?" I just wanted everything to go as I had planned. Everything was going fine at the ceremony; I thought that for once in my life something was going right for once. Then suddenly a voice interrupted the ceremony, those words I had been dreading someone would say were said "the wedding cannot go on: I declare the existence of an impediment." ...read more.


The priest telling me he will pray for me, he can keep his prayers! Anyone in their right mind would be prepared to commit a crime and be a bigamist to be with someone they dearly loved and who could love them back like someone should be loved. What am I supposed to do? Just carry on and be expected to be happy just because I am married! I have every reason to want to be a bigamist, I thought the priest would at least see that and even more so, Jane. She shut herself into her room and I waited outside for her. I heard not one movement, not one sob, I asked her why she shun me and locked herself away to grieve without me. I expected there to be evidence of tears but her face was pale, she had not wept at all, I assumed her heart had been weeping blood. It was then I pleaded for forgiveness, I never meant to hurt Jane, she was the one thing in my life that kept me going, the "pride of my life." ...read more.


She had this idea that as long as Bertha was alive she would be no more than a mistress to me. How could she think such a thing! I do not consider myself married and I want her to see that! She told me she must go, but I couldn't bear to hear it! I threw myself at the sofa and held my arms out to her to stay with me despite everything that has happened but she merely kissed me on the cheek and said she would pray to God to bless me. I just wanted her to take a glance on my horrible life when she was gone. "For a wife I have but the manic upstairs: as well might you refer me to some corpse in yonder churchyard." I wish I could turn back the clock and change the day I married Bertha, for I did not know that she would one day turn insane. Then I could be happily married with Jane; nothing would be in the way of our happiness. This of course was too much to ask, for I am now going to die a lonely man, and a curse, never to see my darling Jane ever again. Edward Rochester ...read more.

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