My Autobiography

It was the summer before I started secondary school. I had just turned eleven. My family went on holiday to our homeland, India. In search of enlightenment. This was only the second time I had been there but already I felt I belonged there, as though a strong hypnotic spell was constantly drawing me towards it. I had missed my family dearly and although I couldn't wait to see them that wasn't the most important reason I loved India, nor was it the wondrous sights, but the lush green fields and the golden sandy beaches that glistened in the glorious sunshine. I remember lying there lazily, having nothing to do. There I would be as free as a bird.

The reason we flew back was due to the upcoming wedding of my cousin. I remember having to stay with my Great Uncle's family. Everyone was busy preparing for the wedding, they were so wrapped up in what they were doing it was like they had sometimes forgotten about me. Still the atmosphere was great, and it was one of the best moments of my life. Everyone was pulling together and it felt like there was a strong bond between the whole family.

I will always remember one particular day for all the wrong reasons. It was the evening, my family had all gathered round to hear the wonderful stories my Grandfather would always tell us about his childhood. I especially loved these moments, as it was when I felt the most warmth, love and togetherness. On this night though my Grandfather was not with us as he was seriously ill and had stayed at his home. My Grandmother had forced everyone to leave him alone with her and to try and ignore it. Instead my Great Uncle took his place as the storyteller. I remember how my mind was wondering and how restless I became, wishing I sat beside my Grandfather and had been there for him, like he was always for me. A sudden drowsiness came over me.

The moment I finally fell asleep on my mother's lap, an abrupt scream from my auntie awoke me. A strange curiosity filled the room. I looked up to my father and saw him with his face pointed towards the ground. I didn't understand what was going on. I looked around the room bewildered, as a strange unsettled feeling filled the house. I asked my mother in a soft voice what had happened, afraid that I would break the silence. She didn't answer. What's happened? Why is everyone so still? Did I do something? I thought to myself. After a while I realised nearly everyone was crying. Sadness was everywhere. I can still see a vivid image of my uncle's rage. Still not knowing what had happened I looked up to my mother and asked her once again what had happened. A tear rolled down her cheek. Then she hugged me so tight I could hardly breathe. Then, taking a deep breath she answered cautiously and nervously, "It's your granddad..." before she finished I had realised what had happened. I ran out of the house in a fog of disbelief.

I remember running to my favourite place, the beach, trying to clear the voice of my mother from my mind. I then imagined that she told me everything was fine, I nearly began to believe a lie; a lie that I pleaded would be true. My arms became all weak and heavy as I began to tense. I sat for what felt like hours listening to the waves crashing against the rocks. I picked up a shell and desperately listened to the ghostly echo of the waves in an attempt to forget the truth. I know they've made a mistake. He's probably at home fast asleep. He can't be dead. He's too young to die. Millions of thoughts kept rushing into my mind. I couldn't stop them. I looked up at the sky, it was unseasonably dull. Grey clouds seemed to cover the sky for miles, but from the corner of my eye I glimpsed a solitary ray of light. A smile appeared on my face as I imagined it was my Grandfather making his way to heaven. I saw him as the ray of light because he was different to everyone else and he would always stand out in a crowd. I felt the presence of my Grandfather around me, it had finally sunk in. He was dead. I stood up as I felt the fog before my eyes clear, and began to walk back to seek comfort from my family. This

As I arrived, back at the house, I remember seeing several children playing. I stood there for a while as I wished I had their lives, not having to worry about anything and doing what ever I wanted whenever I wanted. From behind there emerged the solemn face of my mother. I ran to her, I could tell she was holding back the tears. I fell into her arms and once more she hugged me tightly, as though she was saying she would always look after me and never let go. Everyone was getting in to their cars to get to my Grandmother. I remember sitting in the back of a white van with my mother it was pitch black. I remember as I tried to forget everything that was happening. Only the soft sounds of people mourning could be heard as I lay in my mother's arms helplessly. One of my closest relatives had died and I could do nothing about it. I peered through the windows and saw the darkness, which had already filled my heart. I began to think about all the fun times we had had together, to try and ease the pain. The time when I first went to India with him. All the times he took me to the park and for long walks when I was younger back in England. It almost made everything worse. I could hear my mum crying and chanting what I assumed was a prayer.

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The van came to a sudden halt, we had arrived at my Grandparent's house. It seemed as though we had been in the van for hours rather than barely twenty minutes. My heart began to ache as I looked above to see a faint shadow of what seemed like my Grandmother sat next to my granddad's body. My mother held me as we walked up the long winding stairs which I wished led to heaven and my Grandfather, but instead all that was left was his body. As my mum took me towards my Grandfather I remember trying to look away, I didn't want to see him like that, so still and lifeless. Tears began to well up within my eyes. I let go of my mother, part of me wanted to run out but the other wanted to see him for the last time and say goodbye properly. I approached him, scared to look, as I got closer I saw my Grandmother. I will always remember her face as she held his pale right hand, it was as though she wasn't ready to lose him and would have done anything for a couple of minutes with him. I leapt into her arms without a second thought as we both began to cry. As I desperately held onto her I could feel a part of her leaving, it was as if without him she was incomplete. I held his hand, instantly I felt this strong connection, although he was dead as I held him I couldn't let go, even though he was as cold as ice.

That night my family stayed with my Grandmother. I was forced to go back with my Great Uncle. Everyone was silent when we got there and emptiness seemed to fill the house. I remember how isolated I felt. My family were far away from me. I had no one to talk to. My relationship wasn't very good with my Great Uncle's family so I wasn't aware of how they felt or how they would react. I lay there all night trying to fall asleep but I kept on remembering everything that happened over and over again. Wishing I could have been there, sitting next to him, to help him through all the pain and agony. As I was so close to my Granddad, it was as though a part of me had died with him. All my hopes and dreams seemed to have been snatched away from me by the grim and menacing figure, Death.

After a couple of days we made our way to northern India near the source of the Ganges, our holy river. My Grandfather had always wanted to die in India and be cremated in the same place as his father, his dream had come true. It was as though God intended for him to die happily, in a place where he was loved and a place he loved. Before the funeral I bathed in the holy water to purify my soul from all the sins in my life. As I did so I prayed my Granddad was all right. Soon after the ceremony started. It was probably the most painful thing that I will ever have to face in life. Watching someone I loved and still do love disappear, without anyone being able to do anything. Lots of people had come from all over India and even from Kenya where he grew up, and from England to pay their respects to a great man.

The look on my Grandfather's face will always stay with me, his strong husky voice always clear in my mind. I feel empty and isolated sometimes without him. A candle was lit in his honour. I remember releasing it down the Ganges, it felt like I was losing him all over again. Still it was the prefect way to say good-bye to a man which I deeply loved and admired. The water was so pure and as the candle flowed down it the glittering light lit up the river and my heart. As I watched the flames dance from side to side I felt a sense of satisfaction. It made me think about his life, all the brave things he had done, all the hard work he did to try and give his family the best future he could. He was a man who had dignity and integrity, and I am proud to be called his Grandson.

One thing will always stand out at his funeral. It felt and looked as though all his old friends, that I didn't know, didn't care he had passed away. All the emotions they had shown were worth nothing to them. They didn't care that someone had lost a Husband, a Dad, a Granddad or even a role model. It seemed like they could control their emotions. Turning them on and off at any given time. This was one of the many lessons I have learnt, that some people are heartless. I had never seen people who could be so cold.

I sometimes wish my Grandfather was still alive. I wish I had been taken instead of him. Although that didn't happen I often wonder what he would tell me to do in certain situations. Sometimes I feel he is still alive and lives within me. My parents still talk to me about him and tell me things about his childhood. I still feel very proud to have been related to him and I also feel a great amount of gratitude towards him, as without him I wouldn't have any of the things I have today. I think a lot about him and often wonder if he's looking down at me from above. I will always try to carry on what he started his selfless personality and determination to capture excellence is what I have based my life on today.

The end

Autobiography

I am going to write about the first day at secondary school.

I woke up early on a dully morning, and I was feeling nervous but excited, I remember wearing my new uniform as my blazer was too big and I had to roll the sleeves back. Then I packed my bag, but I was unsure what to take so all I took was a pack lunch.

When I left to go to school I had to go by myself, but my brother had already shown me where it was and I was told it was only ten bus stops till the school. So when my bus came I was unsure but I got on and counted all the bus stops that what by but I realised I had counted too many, but there were people on the bus who were in the same uniform as me and they had not got off, so I stayed on, and then I saw the school looking big and old, and there were already a lot of children in the playground, then everyone started to get off so I got off as well.

When I arrived in the play ground all the children looked bigger than me, then I found my friends that went to my primary school so I was not so nervous, and as we were talking about our journey too school the bell went and some teachers come out and we had to get into four lines and then they led us to a big hall where there was teachers sitting on a stage watching as we come in and they were telling us to be quiet, then once every one was in they introduced us and then started to put us in form classes. They started by calling names and when your name was called you had to stand up, and when my name was called every one looked back at me and I felt embarrassed. Then when they finished calling the names, I realised that none of my friends were in my class and I was worried because I never knew anyone else. But when I got to my class we were put in a seating plan, which was ok, as I was sitting to a girl who was nice. But we had to stars doing some work, and I realised that I had forgotten my pencil case and my teacher had to give me a pen to write and I felt odd because I was the only one who forgot my pens.

When it was break I found my friends who were also in different classes and we met some other people in the playground and we started talking about people on our classes. Then the bell went and every one was told to go back to there classes but I couldn't find my class then I found some other people in my class who were also lost but then a teacher came and led us to our class, Then when I got back to class we got ready to go on a treasure hunt around the school and we had to find peaces of card out side rooms, and I was partnered with the girl next too me and we went with another group of girls in front of us and we had fun on the treasure hunt and when we got back our group was given a merit and I remember feeling proud of my first merit.

Later that day we had an assembly and we were introduced to the head master again and were told about the rules, then we could go home.

When I got on my bus to go home I met some people that lived near me so they would be on my bus every day and I felt relived, then when I got home I told my family about my first day and my journey to school and my brother laughed at me because I counted the bus stops when he was only joking about ten bus stops, but I showed every one my first merit and I enjoyed my first day at school.

I woke up feeling sad, but also looking forward to the day, which had come so quickly. Today I did not have to wear my uniform and going to school felt weird without wearing my big blazer and tights, when I got on the bus it was empty unlike my first day where it was packed and I had to stand, when I got to the play ground I was told by a teacher to go to the hall for the leaving assemble, when I got to the hall every one was crowding around the class photos. And when I got to then my picture looked awful but that never spoiled the day, we sat in our form classes and by now I knew every one in my class, and we were joking about what we were going to be in the future. Then once every one had come in, then the assemble started certificates were given out, and I only got one for excellence in design technology, but I was still pleased that I got one. Once all the awards were given out, a boy from my year sang a leaving song and every one started crying, and I felt sad that I was leaving. Afterwards every one was in the playground taking pictures but I had to hurry because the PE moderator was coming in to examine my class for our table tennis grades, when I got to the PE room I was late, but I wasn't the only one so it was ok. When the moderation started, I wasn't picked so I was pleased because I was rubbish t table tennis.

After the moderation we were aloud to go home, but when I got outside there were still a lot of people waiting outside and messing around and we were told to leave the school and I remembered not wanting to leave but we had to go and I remembered worrying about how my first day at collage was going to be.

The end

A Day In My Life!

The birds were already calling to each other in the early morning stillness from the backyard, as saw a glimpse of the rising sun sliding through my window. It all seemed as just another normal day of my life, when I suddenly remembered that this was the day I have being anticipating for a long time and no doubt is going to change my life forever. The flight to London was past midnight and I will be going back to the land I was born after fifteen long years. I had to go out to the back garden and inhale a breath of morning fresh air for one last time. The leaves on the trees rusted gently in the barest breeze as my parents stood in the damp grass, sipping their morning cup of tea. I joined my parents and we spoke for a little while about our future plans. They reminded me that we were expected at my grandmother's house for supper.

The day seemed to go by so quickly I hardly had any time to think about the England anymore. I called some of my friends to say good-bye for one last time and as I kept the phone down, I thought I shall cry at the thought of leaving them, but I did not. Then I thought about how I am supposed to live thousands of miles apart from my dearest friends and I swore to my self that they would always have a special place in my heart.

When we arrived at our grandparent's house, I was amazed to see so many familiar faces all around me. Then I got to know that all these people (mainly close friends and relatives) had to come to say good-bye to us. It was unbearable to think of living without these people, I have grown used to all these years. I tried to keep a straight face through out the evening, as I did not want people to see me upset. But in truth I was quite happy to migrate, as I knew this was a good opportunity for my family and myself. However, the most difficult part was leaving my relatives and friends and I could not pretend look happy.

I saw my grandmother coming towards me. Suddenly I knew what she was about to say as I saw her tearful eyes. I smiled at her and reassured that we will be fine. My grandmother and I are very close with each other. She seemed to be very lonely since the unfortunate death of her husband, my grandfather. They were married for nearly a half a century and recently I got to know that he was her first love, which touched me deeply. Since then she shared things with me that had being long buried and were almost forgotten. She used to say 'there is a big world out their little girl, with many beautiful places in it, not many better than this, but they are worth seeing nonetheless. As I just remembered this, I felt pang of guilt for leaving her behind and starting off a new life in England. The evening seemed to fly by, and my parents said to me that we must go home and prepare for the flight, which was due in less than five hours. Everyone wished us well and said tearful goodbyes.

When we got back home, I was relieved because we had finished most of our packing. I was careful not to leave anything important behind while I was doing some last minute packing. After what seemed like two hours, we were on our way to the airport. I peered out of the car window and saw the streets that were surrounding us. It looked dark and empty with a few people walking along either side. When we arrived at the Katunayaka Airport, every thing looked busy as usual. The hustle and bustle of an airport never fails to excite me. Everyone thing moves quickly and I like to see so many different people. Some looking happy and relieved to be united with there loved ones and vice versa. The checking in process seemed to go on forever and I started to get a little nervous when I heard the final announcement of out flight. It was said to take approximately ten hours to reach London and the prospect of sitting on a seat for such a long time did not amuse me at all.

I sat next to my sister in the plane and I was glad to sit by the window, which will enable me to enjoy the breathtaking view outside. The journey seemed to go on forever, but as usual we chatted endlessly and after some hours, I fell asleep. I woke up after a while feeling exhausted from the days activities. However, I could not stop the thoughts that were coming inside of me. Once again, I started thinking about being rejected, if it is possible to make new friends all over again, starting a new school in a completely different environment and leading a new life. I made up my mind to be strong and be ready for any challenge that I will have to overcome in this great country I had left when I was only a little child.

We were informed that we would be landing in London in a few minutes. I looked out from the narrow window sitting beside me, and gazed at the land that was lying peacefully below us. I cannot find the words to describe how I felt then but I know I was very excited. First, I saw the lush green leaves spread out like a massive canopy then little by little buildings emerging.

We met my uncle at the Heathrow Airport who had come to pick us up. We were to spend the night at my uncle's house until we go to our own house the following day. As I walked out of the massive airport, I was feeling numb. I think I was felt fear and happiness at the same time. Once again, I was peering through the windows. The roads (or motorways as we call it in England) were huge in comparison to most roads in Sri Lanka and there were thousands of buildings, mostly made out of bricks lying on either side of the road.

It was early morning when we got to my uncle's house and his family warmly welcomed us. I was exhausted by the journey and went to get some sleep after awhile. As I lay on my bed I thought about everyone I had left behind and whether my life will ever be the same.

The end

My Autobiography

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