“We are going to London” she said, firmly. When I first heard it, thinking she was just messing about, I began choking on my laugher. But after laughing for an endless 20 minutes, I saw her face looking serious, as a sergeant looks at the soldier before they are about to go to a dangerous war. Her facial expression told me intently that she didn’t find it funny at all. “We are going to London” she repeated firmly- once again. This time, everything went still and silent. So silent that I could even hear the ticking of the clock and feel every beat of my heart pumping incessantly. That is when I realised that the words that had just come out from her wide mouth were true. However, I only started accepting the fact after a couple of weeks, the fact that I was going to leave: the country I had been born and grown up in; my friends from school, who I had spent half of mi life with; the house I lived in, where I had all my belongings and possessions. And all this was supposed to fit in a crusty, old and small suitcase that was meant to weight 20 kilos!
The time passed quickly and the day had finally come, the day that was going to change my entire life. I felt sad, desperate, distressed, unhappy, as if I have just been run over by a cattle of anguish, anxiety and sorrows. Above all, it is quite dramatic how a little decision can lead into a change that can turn your whole life around. But this, this was more than a big change; it was a sum of lots of big changes put together in one. Childhood to adolescence, primary to secondary school, Spanish to English, Spain to England, and many more...
I still remember the first month as it was yesterday. Just having to remember them stressful days makes tears want to come out my eyes. The first month was the worst. It was so sad to have to assume the fact that the only people that I was able to communicate with, was my family. To be convinced that I had to share the same bed as my sister, my brother, and my mum, and I am not talking about a huge king size bed, but a double bed, which had such a thin mattress, that I could compare it with the thickness of my pyjamas.. Thinking that I was soon meant to start secondary school, but no schools had accepted me yet. Having to think, that every night, I would cry myself to sleep. I felt like it couldn’t get any worse. I had left my old life for this, for this! But, was I going to be able to stand this anymore?
After the three first endless weeks, I started to meditate about all the different experiences I was going though at that particular moment and I released that all the days that I had been there, the only thing I had done was to complain. So I tried to think what were the good points in all this non-sense, and began to consider that all this was for my own good.
I guess sometimes in life, it’s hard to be optimism, but if you try hard and think deep inside about it, there is always, and I repeat always, something good happening in your everyday life. It is all in your head. You don’t find happiness in money or possessions, they might give you a temporary happiness but you can only find the true happiness in other things that I had forgotten about. Altruism: doing nice things for people, good health, perspective, security, spirituality, purpose, courage, humour, optimism, sense of choice, love, friendship and family. These are some of the ingredients that I needed to be happy, and I had all and each one of them. So, why did I feel so useless and a minute ago? That moment of meditation and deep thinking changed my point of view in all things.
I began to understand that everything happens for a reason, even though the hardest part, it’s to figure out what the reason is. My mother had sent me here for a good reason. For me to learn a new language (English, in this case), one of the most spoken languages in the world. I also had the chance to learn about another culture, meet new people and find new friends. And having to experience having to sleep and live in the same room as my family joined us as a family and made us appreciate the blessing of having each other
By Thamar Nieto 10 LHA