My mother was all I had in this world. It has been two weeks and I still refuse to believe she has gone. During my mothers last few weeks, her face totally changed; cancer is such a terrible disease.

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Nabeela Shamsuddin                04/05/07

Emotions

My mother was all I had in this world. It has been two weeks and I still refuse to believe she has gone. During my mothers last few weeks, her face totally changed; cancer is such a terrible disease. Why did she have to leave me to cope with all this on my own? It is so messy.

Apparently there was a big secret that I would find out. A short while before she passed away, my mother said that I had to read her will and I would find out what it was.  Couldn’t be half as bad as she was making it out I thought. But back then; I couldn’t of even dreamt of what was to happen to me.

I burst out crying. I was scared, hurt and felt like no one. I had been adopted. I looked at the papers and still couldn’t understand. Why, what and when?  I loved my mother with all my heart; living with her for 14 years wasn’t just a way to pass time, it was my life. Should I even attempt to track down my biological mother? I felt guilty even thinking it. Nervous, shocked and determined I decided would go on a mission to find out who she was. I had to, It was very scary. I rang all the agencies and finally got sent information on her. They posted me “ mrs.Blakes” address and I was to see her the following week. Was I making the right decision?  At that moment it seemed to be.

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I lay in bed thinking. It was weird my life had changed so much in one week. What was going to happen now? Tomorrow was the day…I gulped and thought about it. That night seemed to last forever.

The morning I was dreading had came. My heart was filled with mixed emotions. Leaving the house I bit my fingernails and prayed. I looked at the map, which my “mother “ had posted to me. I was feeling so nervous and scared. After living a lie for fourteen years I was finally going to find out truth.

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