When I used to live in Salinas with my Mother – my ol lady there was this man who was in the pictures and I went out to the riverside dance palace with him. He promised me a chance to go to Hollywood but that never happened. When he had gone back he said that he would send me a letter, I never got that letter. My suspicion was that my mother might have stolen the letter.
I met Curley out in the Riverside Dance Palace that same night as I went out. I later married him because I wanted to get away from my mother under my own roof. Which proves the hasty marriage to Curley was a failure attempt to escape from my loneliness. Now I realise marrying curley was the wrong thing to do.
Curley, I hate curley because he treats me so badly which lead me to seek attention from other men.
Curley and myself spend a lot of time looking for each other but when we meet, all we do is argue. I saw the two new workers, one called Lennie and other one called George in the bunk house. I liked Lennie because he was looking at me as if he was admiring me while I was talking to ask others if they had seen Curley. But the other guy George just gave me a straight answer ‘he was here a minute ago but he went’ and did not even say hi. By the expression and the answers George gave me straight away showed his rude side and wanted me to leave the room.
I just left the room straight away. This made me very upset and I think in the ranch no-one likes me because I am a woman or is it because of the way I dress.
More often this kind of things happen and make me upset at even being a woman.
I went to look for Curley everywhere but I ended up in crooks doorway and saw three people talking to each other – Lennie, Candy and Crook. I said ‘any you boys seen Curley?’ The response I got from candy was very bitter and really cold.
Then I was still at the doorway and said to them that they are the weak ones which are left here in the ranch whereas the others enjoying themselves out in town.
If I see any men and he is alone I get along fine with him and like house on fire.
I felt like wanted when their were talking to me and had some attention.
I hate when people ask me to leave and say that they don’t want any trouble, how am I giving them a trouble? I want to speak to people and feel wanted instead of being alone by myself all day.
I know that Curley had his hand busted by someone and Candy was treating me as if I am a child and as if I don’t know. I know what Curley is like – wanting to be the boss and having fights with people for no reasons.
I just wanted someone to speak, share and just have someone to be with. I feel like an alien in this ranch, where everyone see me as threat.
It has got so bad that I had to use Crooks position to let me stay in the barn to talk to them. (NIGGER) Crook must have felt left out as much as I did. I had no choice but to use that against him which must have made him really sad as well because he said ‘Yes, ma’am’ straight away.
I like to speak to Lennie because he is like a big baby. He would be a nice friend to talk to or just being yourself. He is not all moody and strict.
I would really love to bust Curley up for the time that he does not have for me as his wife and companion.
I would never have married him in the first place if I had more choices and opportunities in my life. I wish I never married Curley and would have not ended up in ranch full of men and no woman. Why was I born a woman to live this awful and unpleasant life where I am so lonely and without a friend in the world to come to my defence and take me away from this life.
What would happen to me? Who would come to rescue me? Who would be my friend?