After a typical day at school I got home to find the house silent, unusual when I have two younger brothers and a puppy, as well as my parents busily trying to tidy up after them. I walked into the kitchen to find the stove on, bubbles spilling out from the pan. ‘Mum! The pasta’s ready!’ I called up the stairs. No reply. Hmmm, I thought to myself, maybe she had taken the boys out for a walk in the park.
Time passed by and it was getting late. Where were they all? Surely they would have contacted me to say they would be coming home late, or maybe they had no signal where they were. I sighed and clambered up the stairs, my feet sinking into the shag pile carpet, thinking about my geography project that had to be handed in the next day.
I froze. There was a note pinned to my bedroom door in all too familiar handwriting. I tore it off, it said ‘You can see nothing else, when you look in my face, I will look you in the eye and I will never lie.’ The note, so full of deceit, floated gracefully to the floor as if it was bestowing something important upon it, when in fact it stored the complete opposite. My mind was spinning, home had always been my own private place to escape from the constant taunts of Erick, now he had invaded that too, I would never be able to escape from him.
I was filled with dread. What would happen next? What would be around the corner or the other side of my door? How could I get rid of Erick and his games? I couldn’t go on like this, the constant fear of another phone call, another letter, another bunch of flowers delivered to my door, it was all too much for me now. I decided that if he was here I would confront him once and for all, that it was getting out of hand, and that he needed to grow up before he got himself into serious trouble.
I opened my door, only revealing my bedroom, clothes cluttered the floorboards, posters of bands plastered my walls, and my bed was as unmade as always, nothing seemed to have changed since this morning when I left for school. I edged along the landing towards my brother’s bedroom door. Pulling down the handle my hands began to sweat. I forced it open, as usual toys were strewn across the floor, the usually chaotic atmosphere seemed eerily quiet. Time still passed by, everybody that existed surrendered to its power, it wouldn’t stop until the last person in the world was dead. Even then it might continue on, a never-ending device that could explode at any time, yet people were oblivious to it.
After searching the bedrooms for any signs of life I crept along to the bathroom. Hearing the rush of running water, I took a deep breath. Grabbing the handle I braced myself for what to expect. Pushing open the door my face was struck by the warm fog that filled the room, curling itself around me like a python to it’s victim, I took a cautious step forward. The shower curtain was drawn. What was behind it? I told myself it was nothing to be afraid of. It was just my mind playing tricks on me, wasn’t it? Gathering the courage I flung back the curtain. Revealing nothing but my brother’s rubber duck and a few bottles of shampoo. Giving a sigh of relief I switched the shower off.
I turned. Only to find something written in the condensation on the mirror. I took two steps back, stumbling over the bathroom mat, tears streamed down my cheeks. ‘Where am I?’ ‘What do you want from me?’ I cried out, into what I thought was an empty house. And it was at that point I heard a scream coming from the garage.
In my desperation I frantically ran downstairs, my heart raced, tears spilling down from my eyes uncontrollably. I loved my family more than anything or anyone else in the whole world. Surely Erick didn’t think that by taking them away from me it would make me love him? All I felt was disgust and hatred for that guy. With his malicious behaviour, I’m surprised anyone could love and care for him, let alone me. I felt for the key on top of the kitchen cabinet, but it wasn’t there. I sobbed harder. My family were so close but they felt so far away. I was so helpless as to what would happen to them, every second of my life I wasted could be a second longer of their suffering.
I eased open the cellar door only to be consumed by a musty fog that met my body like a mother to a child, it engaged me as if trying to comfort me and tell me everything would be okay. Edging my way around boxes, the icy concrete rippled up through me and sent shivers down my spine, memories seemed to hover in the air and then soar through my mind.
I was face to face with the door. The door that had captivated my family and was secluding them from the rest of the world. It had a gleam to it, an evil gleam, knowing it was the barrier between my existence and my family’s. The pattern etched upon the door smirked at me, entwining my brain with doubts and worries, encouraging me to enter. Summoning all my courage I reached out for the handle. The metal seared through my arm like a burning rod of steel, shocking me to the core and pulling me back to reality.
Darkness coiled through the air. Drowning me in its depths. Making it impossible for me to breathe. Pulling me under. Stopping me from thinking straight. No one was here?
I stood there.
The dead body hung over my head like a joint of beef in a butchers. It seemed to move, as if animated, yet I knew it was only maggots crawling through the corpse, searching for some form of life. A seed of terror started to grow inside me, creeping through my veins, engulfing my brain in thoughts I wish I could push away.
I dared myself to take a step forward. The emotions I felt whirled through my body, making me feel more than alive, like a swarm of angry bees. The dark told me stories, the silence whispering in my ear, but I didn’t know which were real and which were my imagination.
I couldn’t believe this day had come. The one I had nightmares about. The one I wished I could erase forever. I fell to the ground, clutching my hair, and for a split second I couldn’t bring myself to the reality of it all. Why couldn’t he just leave me and my family alone?
The love I felt for my mother was so unbreakable, like an everlasting universe, nobody realised its greatness or individuality and nobody could ever possibly understand it. Newfound pain inside me screamed to get out, to be let free, but it was embedded in my soul. Forever.
