“I would never do that, I couldn’t do that.” She almost spat the words out, offended by his words but then she realised what she had said “But that’s me, people are different.” She quickly added.
It was too late, she had given him exactly what he had needed.
“That is what most people would say, unlike Miss Smith. No further questions your honour.” He smugly sat back down with a slight grin on his usually unresponsive face.
“Linda, can you get me Mr Edwards file by tomorrow, the one I told you to study?”
Linda’s boss Doctor Martin was always making her carry out tasks that really should have been undertaken by him.
“Yes, it’ll be on your desk first thing.”
He strolled out of the room, in his own conceited little world, not even thanking the woman who did so much for him.
“Thanks Linda, even though you are a doctor and not a bloody secretary you always help me out.” Linda remarked to herself sarcastically.
She looked around at her dreary surroundings, four white walls, medical instruments in red trays, a examination table, a si8nk and a desk with a small plant which Linda had brought in upon it, her boss was always talking about ‘cost’, it was pretty clear to all his employee’s that their rooms hadn’t ‘cost’ him very much at all. She decided that she would do her paper work at home; she didn’t have any other patients that afternoon.
She struggled to carry all her files up to her double glazed front door, she opened it with her elbow and quickly dropped the files onto her dining room table, her small arms felt like they would drop off if she didn’t.
She sat down and started what was to be another tedious evening of filling out forms and sorting important files, whilst doing all of that she still had to be a full time mother to her two sons, tom and Jake.
Life was tough, and although she wasn’t as idyllically happy as most people pictured her to be, she was by no means depressed, she knew she had chosen this lifestyle so she had to make it work.
Two days further into the case and there didn’t seem to be any real progress being made, defence had done a pretty poor job of finding valuable witnesses and prosecution’s case against hadn’t really been supported with any real evidence, it was all hearsay, but it looked like prosecution might have got their ticket to winning the case.
“I’d like to call a witness please your honour.”
“Go on, but please try to keep to the point this time.”
“Of course your honour, I’d like to call up Mr Alan Johnson.”
All of the colour, which wasn’t much to begin with, drained from Linda’s face, they hadn’t exactly had an amicable break up.
The usual procedure of promising on the bible took place and then they set about ripping Linda’s already diminished reputation to shreds to make their job easier.
A few irrelevant questions were asked before they really got to work.
“Mr Johnson, may I enquire as to why you and your ex wife Miss Smith got divorced?”
“I couldn’t put up with her insecure nature.”
“In what way was she insecure?”
“She was constantly accusing me of having affairs, it was totally irrational.”
Linda couldn’t believe her ears; she had never said anything like that, he left because he didn’t want the responsibility of children.
“I see. That must have been annoying, did you ever take out your anger on Miss Smith or your two sons?”
“No, never, I could never bring myself to lay a finger on any of them, no matter how much they annoyed me I can control myself.”
“Ok. So how would Miss Smith have acted in the same situation?”
“If she was angry she would scream at the children until they cried.”
That was total rubbish, he was the one who shouted and screamed, she cuddled them when they cried because of it.
“So she didn’t have much patience when it came to your children?”
“Not really, it was always her work and herself that she loved.”
At this point Linda laughed out loud, she couldn’t believe her ears, he was describing himself and passing the blame onto her when all she ever did was love her children, take care of them, and try not to upset them. She was so happy when he left, they didn’t have to be afraid anymore.
“Miss Smith I don’t think this is a laughing matter.” The judge looked at her with disgust.
Linda couldn’t help herself; she hissed at the judge “I don’t find any of this funny, in fact I feel like crying listening to this bullshit and seeing everyone believe it.”
“Miss Smith, I don’t appreciate you using that language in my courtroom, an if you have another outburst then you will be removed, do I make myself clear?”
She nodded her head, but she was by no means ashamed, at least she had said it.
Mr Johnson was questioned for about another thirty minutes then it was defences turn to cross-question him.
“Mr Johnson, would you call yourself a respected man?”
“Yes, yes I would.”
“Would you also say your caring and truthful?”
“Yes” he looked puzzled
“Funny that, because I have some damning evidence here that doesn’t really paint you as the family man that you’d have us all believe.”
Linda sat forward, she knew what was coming.
“I have a report from the nspcc, that says and I quote ‘Mr Johnson lost his temper when asked by a member of our welfare team if he had inflicted the bruises on his eldest sons arms, he said that he was his son and that he’d do what he wanted with him’”
“Umm…”
“Exactly, jury I suggest that you seriously consider whether Mr Johnson’s testimony is truthful enough, I remind you that sentence cannot be passed on lies! No further questions.”
At least the limelight had been taken away from Linda now.
“This case will close tomorrow, please prepare your closing speeches and jury please consider all evidence carefully, Miss Smith will be given the chance to give her side of the story tomorrow as she hasn’t had chance yet. Thank you all.”
One day to go, how could Linda give her side when she wasn’t even sure what it was, she knew something had happened, something so bad it made her do it, she was so happy before that, no matter what anyone said she was happy.
The rain was falling heavily, leaving small water droplets on Linda’s window in the surgery.
She was waiting for her next patient to come in; she was getting a bit irritated, she had already had her insurance company on the phone that morning saying that she was behind with her payments even though she wasn’t and then her television had been pushed over by Jake which had made things ten times worse because she might not have insurance anymore to reimburse her for it, she needed to get home and sort it out.
The door opened and a hunched over old lady tottered in, she plonked herself on the chair and proceeded to complain about how long she’s waited to be seen as she took of her shoes
“I’ve got bad toes.”
Linda could have thrown up, her toe nails looked like they hadn’t been cut in twenty years, one of them was even missing, and her feet smelt like something had died.
“I’ll give them a trim for you.”
“You cant trim my toes!!”
“Not your toes Miss Jenkins your…”
The woman didn’t give her chance to finish, she grabbed her things and left, holding her shoes in her hands.
“Some people.” Linda shook her head and continued to gather her things to go home, as she did the door flew open and her boss stormed in
“What the hell are you playing at?”
“Excuse me?”
“I’ve got a scared old lady in my room claiming you threatened to chop her toes off, claiming you’re a bad doctor and that she’s going to get you struck off, HOW THE HELL AM I MEANT TO COPE WITH THAT?”
She sat back in disbelief
“ANSWER ME!!!”
“I don’t, I don’t know.” She stuttered
“Well I’ll tell you something, you stay out of my surgery until you bloody well do know, now GET OUT!”
She ran out of the surgery, still numb with disbelief, tears oozing out of her eyes.
She climbed into her car and slammed the door, pushing the key into the ignition and putting her foot down hard on the acceleration. The car screeched as she took off, thundering down the road until she reached her drive.
The children were watching a film with their child minder when she got in.
“Sarah I’m home now, you can go.”
“Ok. Hey are you ok, you look upset?”
“Do I pay you to be nosey? I don’t think I do, so do what I pay you for and shut the hell up in the meantime.”
The young girl was scared and ran out of the front door, she’d never seen her employer like this before, usually they got on so well.
Linda sat by the table, wiped her eyes and attempted to get on with some work, she kept getting angry with herself if she as much as spelt something wrong.
The phone rang; she looked up from her work then kicked the chair away from her and answered it.
“Hello.” She said heatedly, twisting her damp brown hair around her finger as she spoke.
“Hello Miss Smith, this is Mark from safe home insurance.”
“Oh, I meant to get back to you.”
“Yes. Well I had a look and I regret to tell you that your house has no cover as you haven’t paid us for quite a length of time.”
“What? That’s ridiculous, id never forget something like that.” She was practically pulling her hair out now.
“Im afraid you have.”
“I haven’t.”
“Our records say different Miss Smith, im sorry but…”
“Look asshole you haven’t got a clue, you cant be over 18 for god sake, don’t you dare tell me that im stupid.”
“I don’t have to listen to this.” And with that he hung up.
She was infuriated yet she still felt the need to carry on with her work, she retrieved the chair and saw that she had marked her wooden floor by kicking it so she rushed like a headless chicken to get some soapy water.
She ran the tap not really paying attention, and carried the bucket into the room.
Getting down on her hands and knees she put her hand in the bucket to get the sponge and was immediately burnt. She continued to wash the floor in some feeble attempt to remove the mark that was engraved into the wood.
There was a tapping behind her.
It sounded like a pair of high heels; she quickly turned around to see her son Thomas wearing her dinner shoes and laughing, “Look mummy, look at me.” She stared blankly, usually she would have laughed but she wasn’t thinking straight.
“Mum can you peel my apple for me, I can’t do it, I cut my hand.” He held out his small hand as proof, then he held out a bread knife for her to peel his rosy apple with.
“What have I told you about using a knife?”
“Im sorry mummy, but I wanted to be a good boy because you are sad.”
“If you were a good boy you’d listen to your mummy, you wouldn’t play with knives.”
She looked frenzied, her eyes focused closely on the child.
“Have you any idea what knives can do?”
“Hurt me?”
“Exactly, they can cut you tom, they can make you bleed tom, do you want that tom?”
“No mum.”
“Let me show you.”
She grabbed his little arm, pinching his skin, he tried to pull it free but she was too strong.
“You need to learn to listen when you’re told.”
“Can I watch winnie the pooh now mum?” he seemed unaware of what his mother was implying.
“You need to be taught some manners.”
“Please mum, I’ll be a good boy now.”
“SHUT UP YOU RUDE LITTLE BOY.”
Linda raised her hand and slapped his face.
“Ow” he began to sob
“You think that hurt? Now you know why I said what I said about knives, because they can do this….”
She jammed the knife into the top of his arm.
He screamed on the top of his lungs.
His elder brother Jake ran in. “Mummy what did you do?”
Her hand still possessed the knife; it was still wedged deep into her sons arm.
“I taught your brother a lesson, but seems you’re here why not kill two birds with one stone?”
“What birds mum?”
“I can’t believe I’ve raised such idiots and I never even realised.”
“Who?”
“Don’t you understand anything?”
“Mummy you’re scaring me.”
“You two scare me when you run with knives, what if you fell, do you know what would happen?”
“No.” he shook his head confused.
She dislodged the knife from toms arm and flew at Jake with it
“THIS…”
She stabbed the knife deep into his gut.
Screaming with the agony of the strike he fell to the floor.
She began to tear her two handsome sons apart till they couldn’t be recognised, hacking into their small torsos and slashing their tiny legs to smithereens “Good little boys don’t run with knives.” She kept reciting eerily.
Blood splattered high on the walls from the force of the blows. Even though the screams of the two children had long since ceased, Linda kept stabbing and slashing, her breath rasping in her throat from the effort it entailed, only as her strength began to wane and her mental state start to alter did she slowly become aware that she and the room were covered in thick, nauseating scarlet red blood and in the distance of her darkness she could hear the echoing wail of police sirens. She slumped back exhausted and began to sob, slowly at first, the like a torrential downpour.
It was the last day of the case, Linda was a little more confident now she knew why it had happened, but she still dreaded the verdict.
The judge began “Before we hear the closing speeches I think its only fair that Miss Smith has her input so please reserve judgement till after. Miss Smith please take the stand.”
Linda stood up, her face was long and drawn, she looked grey and her clothes hung off her where she hadn’t been able to stomach any food, her hair was pulled back tightly in a failed attempt to look smart and her nails were small and bitten nearly to the cuticle.
She stood fragilely in the stand. Prosecution stood up.
“Miss Smith, please can you tell us your recollection of the day that you killed your sons please.”
“Objection your honour, that question needs to be rephrased.”
“I think the question is straightforward enough your honour, it happened so why cant I ask about it?”
The judge thought about it momentarily, “I am allowing that question but please try and keep all questions sensibly phrased.”
“Ok. So Miss Smith, your account please…”
“Um, I went to work as usual, everything was ok except I had had a phone call off my insurance company that morning saying that they hadn’t received my payments for some time. Then I had this one awkward patient who misunderstood what I said and thought that I was threatening her, she went and told my boss that she wanted to place a complaint against me and if she had her way have me struck off, my boss came in to my room and told me not to come back to work till I had a way to stop it affecting the surgeries reputation…” she had decided to tell them everything, she had nothing to hide anymore. “I was so upset, I drove home, I was really stressed, I got in and shouted at the babysitter, then I did some work, I answered the phone and a boy from the insurance company told me my home didn’t have any insurance, oh yeah and Jake broke the TV that morning, then tom asked me to peel a apple and I…. I….”
She started sobbing again, just as she had done after she had slaughtered her sons. She sniffed and continued through her tears
“I lost my temper with him and gave him a row for playing with knives but I couldn’t stop, It was like it wasn’t me, like there was something evil inside my body that I couldn’t control….” She was incriminating herself but she didn’t care, she felt more guilt than ever and felt she had to pay for what she had done, she was guilty, she knew that know.
“Then Jake came in and I stabbed him in his tummy, he cried and I didn’t stop, tom was screaming but I couldn’t stop myself.”
She had to stop because she was racked with sobs.
“Anything else?”
“Not…not really.”
“So are you trying to say your evil?”
“Probably, I must be.”
“Yes you must. I have nothing more to say your honour.” He sat down looking sickened by how she had described it.
Linda’s defence lawyer stood up, he looked a little astounded at her statement as well, she had just basically hung herself, or at least she might as well have. All he could do know was try his best to get her a lighter sentence.
“Miss Smith, you mentioned a series of events that occurred that day did you not?”
“I did.”
“Ok. In your opinion are they normal occurrences?”
“No, I’ve never really had to cope with anything like that before.”
“Yet you call yourself evil? You were put under extreme amounts of stress, you reacted to that stress, it might not have been the right thing to do but I don’t think there is one person here who hasn’t acted irrationally at least once in their life.”
“None of them have killed their babies though.” Tears flowed down her sodden cheeks like rivers.
“That maybe so, but I doubt that any of them have had to cope with all of what you went through in one day,”
“I suppose they haven’t.”
“So may I suggest that you don’t refer to yourself as evil but as disturbed and extremely stressed at the time.”
“Ok”
“I put it to the jury that stress makes people do strange things, for example some people with debts steal large amounts of money, so who’s to say that faced with Miss Smith’s problems they wouldn’t react the same.”
The closing speeches followed, prosecution concentrated mainly on the evil inside Linda and the possibility of her being a threat while defence played on the juries empathy skills in hope that they would pity Linda.
Jury went off to discuss the matter, Linda sat nervously in the docks, feeling awful and looking just as bad.
Jury returned about half an hour later, which suggested that they had been undecided, for Linda time had never dragged so much in her life.
“Foreman, have you reached a verdict on which you are all agreed?”
“Yes your honour.”
“What is your verdict on the two counts of murder?”
There was a pause, not even a cough could be heard, everyone was holding his or her breath.
“We find the defendant…………….guilty.”
A gasp of disbelief swept over the courtroom like disease.
The judge turned to face Linda who was unresponsive, “Miss Smith, you have been found guilty on both counts of murder, you are sentenced to life imprisonment.”
“I know” Linda replied desolately.
“Take her down”
With that the woman’s fate was sealed forever, a woman who had so much promise but isn’t that always the way.