Original Writing, Tonight

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   Tonight we’re not seeking applause. Tonight we’re not grabbing fame. Tonight we’re not here to entertain you. Tonight we’re not something old; yet, tonight we’re not something new. Tonight we’re not selling out. Tonight you will change.

Tonight, we are the entertainers.

   The advert is quite enticing you know. They seem like they might be worth a visit, it was only down the high street, although I’ve never heard of the venue it mentions (“The acid”), and where it’s situated seems a little obscure. A lot London venues hide fantastic new talents, however, magical mushrooms among the plethora of thorns and pricks that come out of most London bars and bands. The leaflet was bursting with colours, perhaps signifying something about the music? Perhaps it was to make the band seem new and edgy? And that description, well, it set my imagination on fire when I read it. So eloquently worded, such suspense dripped off of those letters. Of course, it could just be sentimental bullshit.

   I suppose, given that I’m an agent finding ‘young bands bursting with original new talent’ (as is inscribed on my own advertisement) is my job. You know? I’m feeling pretty lonely, bored and tired at the moment, I think I’ll go. I need a drink and I assume there will be some there, besides I feel like trying something new anyway, let’s hope it’ll be a new experience.

   I roughly fold the paper into half, shove it into my jean pockets, with some difficulty, and finish off the can of coke I was drinking. I go to fling it in the bin, but I stop. Holding it in my hands, it looks so nice, so glamorous, the white of the logo shining and contrasting so vividly from the velvet red of the can.

   I laugh; everything about this night has been so sentimental, false and pretentious. The coke can rebounds off of the side of the bin and joins the myriad of other waste in the bin, as was originally intended. The air is getting colder and a brisk wind cuts right through me, shivering and twitching I hurry along the monotonous street, being careful never to step on the cracks, I’m very paranoid like that.

Join now!

   Swinging the door open on my car a cram myself in, after which I grasp the leaflet and just about scratch it out of my skinnies. I glance at the address, ’43 White lane’. It’s a road just around from the pub I went to in my youth, in Camden town, many crazy nights were had there. So as I heave the car round the twists and turns that lead to this place, my mind is cast into a state of nostalgia, thinking back to all the nights, out the crazy raves, the drinking too much and the experimentation ...

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Quality of Written Communication is average. Thankfully, at no point does it detract from the story but a wider range of punctuation points and sentence structure could have been used to show the examiners the candidate is adept at using all range of punctuation (the semi-colon being the ultimate villain). Just remember: semi-colons are used to link to small, main clauses that link together very closely and would otherwise stand alone, separated by full stops and could still makes sense.

The Level of Analysis/Originality here is brilliant. What you don't see so often at GCSE level in creative writing tasks is the concentration on more than one plot. Like the main character, we as readers are left wondering what an earth the phrase "Tonight you will change" means, and the effect it will have on the character we are introduced to. We barely even know them to start with, so, reading on, we become ensnared by this man's monotonous existence and find that the music (exceptionally well described) really does change the man, but what is best is that there are questions left unanswered; sub-plots are explored but never fully invested in, meaning that right till the very end, readers are 'hooked'. It's nigh-on perfectly written, with an impressive array of vocabulary to describe the surrounding and emotions felt by the protagonist. At first he appears a cynical 'Seen It All Before' type ("I laugh; everything about this night has been so sentimental, false and pretentious") but through the use of language, we genuinely feel like the character is completely changed after the night he had, with an intriguing hint at a homosexual experience to go with it - the music really did change the person. The candidates description are so vivid and credible of a washed-up cynic that it feels highly original and very astute.

This question asks candidates to describe a night out, and requires originality and innovation in order to answer it. There is an excellently profound and consistent focus on the task set, with originality and innovation flowing abundantly throughout the answer. This is not just a simple GCSE answer; there are many sub-plots and questions left unanswered, meaning the readers and examiners strive for more information and are thoroughly engaged by the mystery of the candidate's creation. This piece is exemplar for all candidates wishing to submit original, creative writing as coursework as it masterfully responds to the task and employs all the signs of a top mark piece of coursework.