After not receiving any bruises but still in the stranger’s arms, my feet left the floor. Quite relieved to not have to try and balance anymore I didn’t think to complain. I just gently floated upstairs and was laid on my parent’s double bed. The music from downstairs became fainter as the door clicked shut. The lock flicked! Becoming anxious, I tried to ask what was happening, but before the words had chance to leave my mouth the stranger leaned over me and pressed his lips to mine.
I turned my head to try and escape from the pressure that was been forced upon me. I shut my eyes tight, hoping and praying that this was all just a nightmare. I opened them again. Only to see the individuals eyes burning into mine. He then began to roll towards me. The weight of his body then became apparent. He was laid on top of me. I tried so hard to push him off me. He was too heavy. I was too weak. He just took hold of both my wrists and held them against the pillow, like I was a irritating torment that could easily be removed.
His coarse fingers scratched my skin as he lowered his hands down my arms. I held my arms in place, tensing them to block out the feeling. His hands kept on lowering down my body, touching places that were obnoxious. I couldn’t move. I tried to scream. No sound was made. I began to panic. Tears flooded down my cheeks, leaving a thick trail of mascara that I had applied so carefully, so I looked my best! What a mistake!
Suddenly everything went darker. My eyes slowly closed, even matchsticks would not have been able to keep my eyelids apart. It was like I wasn’t in this world. I’ve got no memories of what happened after that!
I awoke early Saturday morning with a striking pain in my head. Shivering, I wrapped my arms around my temperamental body. Skin to skin, I realised I wasn’t wearing any clothes. I did not know why! Disgraced at myself I took hold of my mum’s dressing gown, quickly put it on and tied it tightly. I then ventured out of the room.
Rubbish covered the floor, like a multicoloured carpet! People I didn’t even know were scattered, randomly around the house. All was silent! Carefully I stepped over a sleeping body that was sprawled on the stairs. Heading straight for the kitchen cupboard for some aspirin, I was distracted. I heard a noise in the living room. It was Kelly, with a black bag in her hand that she was filling with the empty bottles and cans.
“K…Kelly!” I stuttered as I spoke. Looking up Kelly replied
“Oh hiya! Are you okay darling? I heard you officially became a woman last night!” I just stared at her as she childishly laughed. Noticing something was wrong she stopped!
“What’s wrong sweetie?” She said immediately
“What did you mean when you said I officially became a woman last night? And how do you know? Who’s been saying stuff?” The tone of my voice changed. I was angry, ashamed and extremely confused!
“Dan said earlier, he walked into your MUM AND DAD’S ROOM and you and a mysterious stranger were laid there, with nothing on!! Don’t worry he promised he wouldn’t say anything and anyway you’ve got nothing to be ashamed of! Your legal and everyone was doing it last night!” Kelly picked up her dustbin bag and carried on.
I entered the kitchen unable to think of anything except what Kelly had said. What if she was right? That’s all I kept asking myself. But now I know. Since this very morning! I was sick! I’d normally have just assumed it was a bug, that was going around college but with my suspicions I decided to go to boots.
I returned home tucking the bag containing a home pregnancy kit into my coat pocket to avoid my mum and dad seeing it. Slamming the front door I ran straight upstairs. My steps got slower as I approached the bathroom. The door safely locked I apprehensively followed the instructions.
Waiting for the results took forever! I really wanted to know but at the same time I didn’t! I eventually persuaded myself it would be best to know and it may help explain what had happened on the night of my party. I stared hard. A blue line appeared. I was devastated. I was pregnant. Katie Johnson pregnant at 17!!! What was everyone going to say? How could I tell my mum and dad? I couldn’t! That’s all I could think then and now I still am asking myself the same questions.
I can’t just get rid of it! I couldn’t do that I would fell so guilty and I couldn’t go through something that major alone but I can’t tell anyone, not even Kelly, I’m so ashamed! I’m just going around in circles. I just want the problem to disappear, but I couldn’t live with myself if I had an abortion or if anybody found out. I just want a hole in the floor to open and swallow me up, ending my life and the babies would solve the problem. No one would have to know then,
That’s it! That’s what I’ll do! End both of our lives. Now I’ve got to think of how and when. I want it over as quick as possible, so no one knows and soon. I’ll do it in the morning! I’ll just say I’m going to college! So it needs to be something I can do on the way. Where will I pass? There’s Morrisons, the car park in castle square…that’s it! I’ll jump of the top, I won’t survive that!
The alarm clock on my mobile phone beeped and buzzed disturbing me from my sleep. Normally I have great difficulty in a morning as I try to be ready for college, not today though! Today was different, very different. In an hours time I would be free. Knowing this I was thrilled. My stomach somersaulting with excitement as I dressed. My head pounding as I ran down the road. My hands trembling as I was on the roof!
